Though it shames me to say this, I accidentally deleted the gruesome appearance when I transfered this from my Microsoft Word. But have no fear, for I have moved swiftly to restore the Scribe's foul visage. Go to Comment
Wow. Glad to see this piece out of in work. I do have a few complaints, but they are rather trivial. The first being that it is very long and while the detail is certainly appreciated it might be a bit of an overkill. Secondly, Kankos seems to have lost something from his incomplete incarnation and he seems more tame and less gruesome. Go to Comment
This on talks to me Maggot. Not in the real sense, but as a character I will use as soon as I have a chance. It is long yessir, and those pharagraphs can be a hard read on my screen yessir. But I wouldn't miss it! Great job! Go to Comment
This is one of the more unpleasant contributions that the site has seen. While I don't shy away from controversial, gruesome subs, you might want to tone him down a touch, as there are some folks who would find this offensive and most of us would hesitate to use such a creature in our games. Go to Comment
Hmmm..I think the Grey scribe is an interesting character. The juxtaposition of the gruesome details of his appearance with the mention of a practicality is a good touch. One can imagine the maggots eating at him to be apt metaphors for the emotions eating away at his soul. The reminder of the Scribe's grovelling'( can I assume that?), menial nature in the last paragraph sums up the character well. Overall seems an excellent candidate for a creature that would alternate between self-deceptive loyalty and betrayal. Not unduly offensive in my opinion... Go to Comment
Once again, a spellcheck and another reading before posting would be nice. Once again, the descriptions are evocative, and a heap of setting/background details are imparted, which is kind of likeable.
But on the whole, I'm sorry to say, it fails to impress me, and it grew tiresome as the many paragraphs kept coming. It feels like more of the same story of the same setting with a slightly different window dressing... once again, sorry, but that's how it felt to me.
A question: how did the other side, the Krakens, react? It appears like they didn't do much to oppose this threat. They would certainly take measures to protect their interests. In any case, piracy is far from a safe endeavor. How does the Order react to failures, and their ships being chased on the sea by the powerful Kraken's fleet? (Btw, that the Shogun denied any responsibility for a group with the same power base as the Company, acting basically in the Company's interest, sounds very suspicious as well.)
In short, I see this big effect on the one side, but no impact on the other side. There has to be a reaction on the action. Go to Comment
I second Manfred's comments and add with the spell check to do a read through edit, spellcheck doesnt know that ears should be years, to quote one example. The sub is a bit long and could be shortened some, but otherwise not too bad. Go to Comment