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The Osaki
Items  (Armor)   (Magical)
valadaar's comment on 2008-11-19 11:25 AM
Maggot - I think you need to look at the reception super-long subs seem to get here. I keep being reminded of that when I overbuild something.

I did not get the Iron Man reference (having not seen the movie), but I found the armor is simply too much. Being able to fire continuously for five hours???? Five minutes would be extreme in a roughly man-sized object.
15 hours flight time from ethenol?

I think this is a case where too much detail is provided. Magical jet packs with a 15-hour duration seems 'okay' to me, but when you mix in real-world terms like ethanol, it does not jive.

In short, it seems vastly too powerful for the drawback, which can be avoided simply by not using it often. And for that matter, many societies could find individuals more then willing to accept the penalties for becoming, for a short will, a god of destruction. Go to Comment
Sagron
NPCs  (Major)   (Mystical)
Strolen's comment on 2014-01-10 06:55 AM
Wow.

Could have almost been three submissions. Outstanding establishment of religions and forces at work in the world! Go to Comment
Sagron
NPCs  (Major)   (Mystical)
Maggot's comment on 2008-10-21 09:40 AM
And it's finally complete! The kraken with a taste for lobster. Go to Comment
Sagron
NPCs  (Major)   (Mystical)
Maggot's comment on 2008-10-21 10:14 PM
Not exactly. It was a random, unintended effect of casting a spell that was somewhat beyond the capability of the amethyst stones that he had. In order to get all the energy it needed, the spell leached away some of his own life energy. Hence the grey hide and rotting odour. The story has been updated to reflect this fact. Go to Comment
Sagron
NPCs  (Major)   (Mystical)
Scrasamax's comment on 2008-10-21 11:23 AM
I see a few spelling errors, Sgaron, calm in place of claim, and that sort. Might need to spell check it again. I have a question, why did Sagron turn deathly in pallor and gain a rotten stench? Is he an undead kraken, or what? Go to Comment
Sagron
NPCs  (Major)   (Mystical)
Cheka Man's comment on 2008-10-21 11:12 AM
I can see over the long term Ma-O's cult growing ever larger in that area, almost to the status of a religion in it's own right. 5/5 Go to Comment
Hourang
Lifeforms  (Intelligent Species)   (Desert)
Scrasamax's comment on 2008-10-17 12:25 AM
The first thing I thought of were the Urutan of FFXII, this impression was short lived, as the Hourang are quite a bit more advanced, and muc more lethal. Niecly done. Go to Comment
Hourang
Lifeforms  (Intelligent Species)   (Desert)
Cheka Man's comment on 2008-10-15 10:27 AM
Facist human locust mosquitos. Now they are genuinely a new race. Go to Comment
Hourang
Lifeforms  (Intelligent Species)   (Desert)
Pariah's comment on 2008-10-19 08:35 PM
Wow Maggot... Go to Comment
Hourang
Lifeforms  (Intelligent Species)   (Desert)
valadaar's comment on 2008-10-16 07:42 PM
Wow. Truly impressive Maggot! This is the best I have seen of your work! Well done! Go to Comment
Hourang
Lifeforms  (Intelligent Species)   (Desert)
RGTraynor's comment on 2010-06-01 12:20 PM
Only voted Go to Comment
Jurokang
Lifeforms  (Fauna)   (Water)
Maggot's comment on 2008-10-08 09:11 PM
That's a good idea. I think my next NPC will be an Acquan Kraken that has developed a taste for Jurokang flesh. Go to Comment
Jurokang
Lifeforms  (Fauna)   (Water)
Scrasamax's comment on 2008-10-08 10:10 AM
Some of the paragraphs are overly long and chunky, and might want to check on the bold tags in the bottom of the submission. I like the reverence for the giant lobsters, and I can see a Clash of the Titans-esque scene between a hunting kraken and one of these beasts. Go to Comment
Jurokang
Lifeforms  (Fauna)   (Water)
EchoMirage's comment on 2008-10-08 05:39 AM
Well, you have to prepare the fireball-and-butter combo spell. Go to Comment
Jurokang
Lifeforms  (Fauna)   (Water)
Cheka Man's comment on 2008-10-07 11:42 AM
If you try and eat that lobster, it might well eat you instead. Go to Comment
Jurokang
Lifeforms  (Fauna)   (Water)
Cheka Man's comment on 2008-10-08 10:29 PM
I look forward to that. Go to Comment
Jurokang
Lifeforms  (Fauna)   (Water)
Chaosmark's comment on 2008-10-11 07:32 PM
It took me a little bit to get used to the large blocks of text, but the content of this is substantial. I like it quite a bit. Go to Comment
Jurokang
Lifeforms  (Fauna)   (Water)
valadaar's comment on 2008-10-10 11:08 AM
Excellent Lobster sub, though with many overlong sentances.

Now I'm hungry. Go to Comment
Shugrath's Lust
Lifeforms  (Intelligent Species)   (Any)
manfred's comment on 2008-06-15 02:05 PM
There are too many words, and too many repetitions. Shave off at least a quarter of the text, and let's see how it goes from there.

Ignoring that, the idea is useful for some and the limitation is well thought out. And please let this not be the way our civilization dies. :D Go to Comment
Shugrath's Lust
Lifeforms  (Intelligent Species)   (Any)
MoonHunter's comment on 2008-06-16 07:03 PM
It is a lovely submission with lots of hooks and applications in a campaign.

It is also an utter beast to read. If I was not a fanatic about such things, I would of bailed on this submission.

So we have a great submission trapped in a swaddling of too many words and too few paragraph breaks. Go to Comment
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