Kugamu was actually inspired by your very own The Ghillie-Goat Man. The idea of defeated gods becoming minor spirits that live on as symbols is one of the most compelling concepts spawned by your inspired Totemos sub, at least as far as I'm concerned. Go to Comment
This is great! So far, all of the Totemos and little gods I have been tinkering with have been moving up the scale of power, growing stronger. Now, we see Kugamu, sliding from a regional god to a local spirit being reinvigorated as a totemos. My thanks to you Maggot! Go to Comment
Gragami's give off a Tyrannosaurus vibe, big mean dinosaurs. The section on myth and legend is too long, too many short paragraphs. The whole piece could greatly benefit from being tightened up and made more concise. Go to Comment
A nice in depth creature, complete with myth origins and a nice presentation. Quite lengthy however which is probably why so few comments as of yet. (I read it a while back but was out of votes at the time, then forgot to comment on it the next day)
I agree with Scras, the myth/legend area could stand to be shortened up a bit, but over all nicely done! Go to Comment
It sounds quite overpowered, but it is a very imaginitive combination of magical fanasy and steampunk. I bet those industrialist of Avolle are trying their utmost to learn the secrets of these suits. Maybe the can produce a corrupted version, so you can have 'mecha-to-mecha' battle with a very original background? The 'turning-into-metal' bit sounds a little like what happened to von Doom in the first Fantastic Four movie (awfull, but spectacular). Maybe one of thuse warrior-shamans gets resentfull of his fate and turns against his fellows? Go to Comment
Maggot - I think you need to look at the reception super-long subs seem to get here. I keep being reminded of that when I overbuild something.
I did not get the Iron Man reference (having not seen the movie), but I found the armor is simply too much. Being able to fire continuously for five hours???? Five minutes would be extreme in a roughly man-sized object.
15 hours flight time from ethenol?
I think this is a case where too much detail is provided. Magical jet packs with a 15-hour duration seems 'okay' to me, but when you mix in real-world terms like ethanol, it does not jive.
In short, it seems vastly too powerful for the drawback, which can be avoided simply by not using it often. And for that matter, many societies could find individuals more then willing to accept the penalties for becoming, for a short will, a god of destruction. Go to Comment
The Osaki Society/ Organizations (Mystical)
Not exactly. It was a random, unintended effect of casting a spell that was somewhat beyond the capability of the amethyst stones that he had. In order to get all the energy it needed, the spell leached away some of his own life energy. Hence the grey hide and rotting odour. The story has been updated to reflect this fact. Go to Comment
I see a few spelling errors, Sgaron, calm in place of claim, and that sort. Might need to spell check it again. I have a question, why did Sagron turn deathly in pallor and gain a rotten stench? Is he an undead kraken, or what? Go to Comment