Strolen\s Citadel content. 
Kuni Hono
NPCs  (Major)   (Combative)
Barbarian Horde's comment on 2005-04-21 10:27 PM
I think this is a neat character, with an interesting background story, but the writing needs some polishing. I also think some things need to be elaborated on, while others don't require as much detail as you have. For example, why did the guy who trained the npc blackmail someone into taking him as an apprentice. What did he gain from that? I totally missed that. Tweak it a little and you'll be on the right track. :) Go to Comment
Kuni Hono
NPCs  (Major)   (Combative)
MoonHunter's comment on 2005-04-22 09:39 AM
For once, I am agreeing with the annoymous comment.

The write up does not answer the obvious questions that crop up in the existing write up. While there is a great deal of focus on some parts, it becomes uncharacteristically spartan in others.

Smooth out the level of description and it will be better rated.

And keep posting. We like what we have seen so far. Go to Comment
Kuni Hono
NPCs  (Major)   (Combative)
valadaar's comment on 2015-08-25 10:07 PM
Only voted Go to Comment
Kuni Hono
NPCs  (Major)   (Combative)
Moonlake's comment on 2015-07-05 02:22 AM
Agreed with assessments from above. Needs polishing but has an underlying core that shows promise Go to Comment
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Beast Tribe

       By: mrmoo135

(Post zombie apocalypse)-a tribe of humans

Culture: Drumming circles daily around an arena for their bravest brutes to slaughter their accepted foe, the zombie. Feasts of overcooked zombie flesh (to kill all of the zombie virus present). Wooden fortress that make this tribe in the far future look several millennium behind in technology. Instead of becoming a troublesome and unnatural foe that they seek to cure, this tribe has accepted that Zombies will continue to roam their land and, if the undead were to perish (be cured), this tribe would suffer as well.

Ideas  ( Society/ Organization ) | April 12, 2012 | View | UpVote 3xp