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Items  (Materials)   (Magical)
valadaar's comment on 2006-10-17 07:28 PM
I do thing random items have their place, maybe not in a serious campaign. I've seem some pretty funny episodes come from these types of items (Wand of wonder & Deck of many things).

If there was more to the item then just a list of random effects, I think it would be better received. Go to Comment
Darken Flind
NPCs  (Major)   (Mystical)
CaptainPenguin's comment on 2005-05-19 10:07 PM
Well, I guess I don't really have much to say. The improved version is much better.

3/5, though it really should be a 3.5/5. Go to Comment
Darken Flind
NPCs  (Major)   (Mystical)
MoonHunter's comment on 2005-05-19 08:42 AM
There is promise in this. However, it is a common, touch below average post.

Its a "bad guy" with a fairly basic, almost cliche reason for being one.

I do like the semi-mysterious way he got the powers. However, just because he never talks about it... the GM should know how he gained them... so he can build upon it. It is the whole narriator/ GM, reader/pc bit. It is a slight cop out not to explain this.

A little more explanation of Bloodsmithing would be nice for those of us who do not have all those new D20 books.

To make your next set of posts better, might I suggest...
1) Increase the amount of description in the post... help us see, feel, hear, smell, and so on the character and its history.

2) Increase the amount of explanation in the post. This one skates through some important aspects. Remember that you need to explain fully, or imply a great deal, in your write up.

3) Remember to touch on where the character came from, what it is doing now/ recently (in this case... what is he doing while travelling from village to village), and what he will be doing in the future (showing his motivations).

4) Check out some other posts, those that were four and five stars and try to emulate that level of posting.
http://www.strolen.com/npc/index.php?order=rating&dir=DESC

5) Your work shows promise. Let see an improved version of this post soon AND a new post taking this advice into consideration. Go to Comment
Darken Flind
NPCs  (Major)   (Mystical)
MoonHunter's comment on 2005-05-20 08:58 AM
I agree. It is vastly better. Thank you very much for making this post live up to its potential. Now lets see what your next couple posts bring us.

I wish some of the other new members would read this post and understand what we are looking for. Go to Comment
Darken Flind
NPCs  (Major)   (Mystical)
Iain's comment on 2005-11-13 05:22 PM
Only voted Go to Comment
Darken Flind
NPCs  (Major)   (Mystical)
chilled's comment on 2006-10-15 08:30 AM
real good idea man keep em comin Go to Comment
Total Comments:
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