I like the idea of a haven of evil nonchalantly existing in the mortal realm; it makes for a good place for a villain to hide, for example.
What I'd like to see added is a history of this place - how it came to be. Go to Comment
The bear in the backpack is a bit strange, but then so is the whole character. Strangeness really seems to be his strong point, actually. He's an ambulatory boulder of muscle and goodwill with the brains of an addled child who just so happens to be the lord of a town. He can be predictably unpredictable. Go to Comment
A new view on Orcs (not a new take, as they are traditional orcs with a different culture).
Edit note: if you could put an extra line between the paragraphs. It would make the submission easier to read.
In terms of content, I like it.
Carnivore mounts, okay.. fantasy trope.. I can deal with that.
I just have one issue.. metal forging and nomadic peoples. Even the West African metal workers were semi-nomadic, as having a forge and proper anvil requires a great deal of space/ weight/ and installation investment. Even the West African Metal Worlkers, who did beautiful work, tended to work small because of their equipment.
So you will need to flesh this out or find some way for them to move a true forge. (It is a large sled that they shlep with a team of these creaures?) Perhaps their magic users are metal smiths (harkening back to West Africans), thus using magic to make things with less material gear. Instead of the banging of a hammer, the sound of an odd vibration, like a didgeridoo, comes from the magi as he forges the Great War SwordGo to Comment
A nice take on Amazonian Orcs, and gives a great feel for their culture for those new to using Orcs in their campaign, and can make a nice resource to flesh out the orcish background of a half-orc char. Go to Comment