When I started reading this I was unimpressed, another violent demi-human thug with a single syllable name and another mage succumbing to the hubris of his own powers...4 years old know these troupes.
But for some reason, and perhaps I have the intellect of a 4 year old, I was completely charmed by the end of the read. I think it was the quiet moment you described in which the one dimensional character has to look around and find some motivation. You gave things just enough depth to make this a fun and usable NPCs that is accessable enough to be placed in any campaign. I like it. Go to Comment
Another possible plot hook: Karryk-Mos has been attacked by kobolds from another tribe, who claim that their reclaimed ruin, a moderate distance away, is the real capital of the Ancient Empire and denounce the Emperor of Karryk-Mos as a "pretender". The kobold war soon endangers nearby towns, as both sides raid for resources in a frantic search for any tactical advantage. Go to Comment
Brilliantly good! I love the idea of giant sky snakes! The description is well done, the history is easy to read and well said, and the other breeds section is very good. On a side note, what are the "air corps" called? The Zekluftwaffe?
"The experience of riding them has been compared to sneaking up on a very large and very angry bear, jumping on from behind and trying to hang on. In a hurricane."
I can just imagine someone doing this! It's hilarious, and very good at explaining what it's like. That is, if you've ever ridden such a bear at such a time, which I, alas, have not. Go to Comment
(Note: parts of the sentence "though the only spirits who posses them have been through many harrowing scenarios" should be probably turned around.)
It is written, how they answer on a certain question... do they actually manifest in some way? Or do they merely control the figurehead of the ship? Both options could be fun (the spirit actually moving on the ship as an unremarkable sailor no one can rightly remember; vs. the captain always having to climb to the figurehead to get a conversation and be laughed at by sailors).
Also, how do the spirits behave towards those, that are negligent to the ship or even endangering it? Would it act directly against a sailor that wants to torch it, for example? Things can get nasty on a living ship. Go to Comment
Creatures of nightmare, the thankfully rare Mesnoi have unique form and attributes. Only one Mesnoi at a time will ever be "encountered".
In appearance, a Mesnoi resembles a walnut-sized chunk of freshly-roasted red meat from some uncertain yet familiar, edible animal. The insidious creature camouflages itself quite appropriately whenever it can, by slowly making its way amidst feast tables and trays of roasted meats.
Once eaten by the unsuspecting, the Mesnoi sinks down to the stomach, reforming if chewed, and begins to lap up the gastric fluids, digestive juices, and bile that it craves, like a sponge.
The Mesnoi carrier will experience mild to severe stomach pains during this time.
After a few hours of this (this is the only time that the Mesnoi can be purged with magic, or other mundane means), the Mesnoi transforms into its true form inside its victim, that of a miniature, once more walnut-sized, pot-bellied, devil-horned, snake-tailed imp. This horrid little creature then begins to chew and eat its way out of the victim from the inside out with its tiny, razor-sharp teeth, like a rat forced to do so via torture.
The victim almost always dies a slow, agonizing death. That much is certain. The devilish imp then exits its victim and begins its seventy two hour existence of mischief and malevolence, until it once more turns back into a hunk of roasted meat with the movement capabilities of a snail.