When I started reading this I was unimpressed, another violent demi-human thug with a single syllable name and another mage succumbing to the hubris of his own powers...4 years old know these troupes.
But for some reason, and perhaps I have the intellect of a 4 year old, I was completely charmed by the end of the read. I think it was the quiet moment you described in which the one dimensional character has to look around and find some motivation. You gave things just enough depth to make this a fun and usable NPCs that is accessable enough to be placed in any campaign. I like it. Go to Comment
Another possible plot hook: Karryk-Mos has been attacked by kobolds from another tribe, who claim that their reclaimed ruin, a moderate distance away, is the real capital of the Ancient Empire and denounce the Emperor of Karryk-Mos as a "pretender". The kobold war soon endangers nearby towns, as both sides raid for resources in a frantic search for any tactical advantage. Go to Comment
Brilliantly good! I love the idea of giant sky snakes! The description is well done, the history is easy to read and well said, and the other breeds section is very good. On a side note, what are the "air corps" called? The Zekluftwaffe?
"The experience of riding them has been compared to sneaking up on a very large and very angry bear, jumping on from behind and trying to hang on. In a hurricane."
I can just imagine someone doing this! It's hilarious, and very good at explaining what it's like. That is, if you've ever ridden such a bear at such a time, which I, alas, have not. Go to Comment
(Note: parts of the sentence "though the only spirits who posses them have been through many harrowing scenarios" should be probably turned around.)
It is written, how they answer on a certain question... do they actually manifest in some way? Or do they merely control the figurehead of the ship? Both options could be fun (the spirit actually moving on the ship as an unremarkable sailor no one can rightly remember; vs. the captain always having to climb to the figurehead to get a conversation and be laughed at by sailors).
Also, how do the spirits behave towards those, that are negligent to the ship or even endangering it? Would it act directly against a sailor that wants to torch it, for example? Things can get nasty on a living ship. Go to Comment
In cultures and langauges with very few acceptable personal and family names, nicknames will be used. These nicknames will be based on their physical traits and personalities. So instead of five Ryon Khans, you have Big Ryon, Little Ryon, Fast Ryon, Ryon the Priest, and Ryon with coin. It will make finding people, for an outsider, difficult.