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The Wind On The Marilanth Petal
Plots  (Crisis)   (Single-Storyline)
Forganthus's comment on 2013-05-07 04:59 PM
Well, sorry you didn't like it. But I don't think it's so much of a stretch. Drug cartels in Mexico already combine death-worship (sorta), parties, and contract killing.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Santa_Muerte

Actually, I think a lot of this is based on Mexican cartels, now that I reread it. Vast quantities of cocaine and ammunition pass pass through their hands. Google "Mexican mass grave" if you want some idea of the scope of their activities. They never seem to have any trouble combined drugs and murder.

And there is a long history of combining drugs and assassins, at least in the public mind.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Hashashin

Actually, when I read fantasy, a common criticism I have is that organizations seem too one-dimensional. There has never been a "Thieves' Guild" in all of human history, but there have been more complex analogues associated with other stuf. Real world organizations are multifaceted and complex. Hamas does terrorism, but they also run soup kitchens, make music videos, and run for public office. The Yakuza deal with everything from gambling to prostitution, and yet they also pay taxes and display their tattoos openly in parades. Don't forget that they Yakuza has a tremendous number of rituals and secret symbols. During the 1995 earthquake, they used their helicopter to provide disaster relief--and they acted faster than the authorities.

Real life is weird, and the bigger a fringe organization is, the more diverse it is likely to be.

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The Wind On The Marilanth Petal
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Forganthus's comment on 2013-05-07 05:45 PM
If you want to get your mind off this bleak abysm of depravity, might I recommend http://strolen.com/viewing/Catbooks? Go to Comment
The Wind On The Marilanth Petal
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caesar193's comment on 2013-05-07 09:59 AM
I like the idea of a crazy cult involved with various activities, but right now it seems too chaotic. They seem to be involved with too many activities. They worship death, and they also have crazy drugs, and they also have pleasure mages, and they also enjoy killing things... I would, if I were you, rework it to have one of these things be the overarching theme, and everything else fall under that, and take a lesser importance too that.

I also have a problem with the idea of a drug filled cult member being able to go out and successfully kill a person.

Other than that, it ws a well fleshed out idea. I enjoyed the list of stuff that might happen at their parties. It gives the reader a good understanding of how crazy these people are. Go to Comment
The Wind On The Marilanth Petal
Plots  (Crisis)   (Single-Storyline)
caesar193's comment on 2013-05-08 07:32 PM
Are you kidding me? I loved these guys. And I thought I had said that in my comment (I'm too lazy to scroll up right now and check). But yeah, I'll devote on these guys. I've relooked, and realized my point was moot. Go to Comment
The Wind On The Marilanth Petal
Plots  (Crisis)   (Single-Storyline)
caesar193's comment on 2013-05-08 07:35 PM
Revote based on evidence that failed to appear in my memory before reading this/making my original vote. Go to Comment
The Wind On The Marilanth Petal
Plots  (Crisis)   (Single-Storyline)
Gossamer's comment on 2013-05-07 01:53 PM
This wasn't my thing at all, so dark and gorey, I felt a bit uncomfortable reading it. I would slap on a big warning at the top to discourage sensitive people from reading it. I think I'll refrain from voting, it was well written, with lots of content, but I don't feel I would be able to give it a fair score. That being said though, I'm firmly against censorship, so I won't tell you to change anything, except add a warning label. Go to Comment
The Wind On The Marilanth Petal
Plots  (Crisis)   (Single-Storyline)
Gossamer's comment on 2013-05-08 03:46 AM
At first I was like...cat books? He's not gonna write about turning poor kitties into books is he?! O_O

"Forever more, if that cat is ever petted with a specific pattern of fingers and strokes, the cat goes catatonic, falls limp, and it's spine rolls open to reveal the appropriate spellbook."

You think THAT is on the lighter side??? Euuurgh! >.< Go to Comment
30 Devils
Plots  (Crisis)   (Single-Storyline)
Strolen's comment on 2013-05-06 02:37 PM
Holy crap. I almost feel guilty that this is a 30 when each one could definitely stand on its own. What a great list. Excited to see this one continue!!
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30 Devils
Plots  (Crisis)   (Single-Storyline)
Shadoweagle's comment on 2013-05-03 09:47 PM
This is neat, Forganthus! I may come up with one or two to help fill it in. I'll vote when it's got a bit more content. Go to Comment
30 Devils
Plots  (Crisis)   (Single-Storyline)
Shadoweagle's comment on 2013-05-04 06:03 AM
9) Ngama Ngama

Ngama Ngama is a forgotten devil of an ancient Aztecian origin. She stands for deceit and agony. The only traces of information that can be found of her lie on dusty tomb walls which, using cryptic pictographs, suggest that the method of summoning her is to kidnap a virgin and take her to a specific tomb within the heart of a sweltering forest. In a ritual room deep within this tomb, one must tie brambled vines to the virgin's wrists, and tie those vines to elevated hooks on a particular bloodied wall. The ritual then demands that the virgin's wrists and ankles be nailed to the wall using spikes of iron.
Once the still-living woman is bound properly, she must be sealed, undisturbed within the tomb for at least one full moon cycle. If the ritual room is unsealed early, the hopeful summoner will only find the woman, dead upon the wall. If the tomb is opened after the alloted time, they will find that the woman still appears to be alive. But once light is brought over to the wall, it will become evident that it is not the woman there at all - instead, it is Ngama Ngama.

Ngama Ngama appears as an animated, dessicated female corpse. She retains some basic features of the virgin who was restrained previously. In accordance to the ritual, she will be suspended on a wall within the tomb, brambled vines and iron spikes holding her in place. In addition, a plethora of iron spikes of various size and shape will also somehow have found themselves through her body and limbs. A black, viscous tar will seem to be sweating out of Ngama Ngama's pores, as well as bleeding generously out of her mouth, nostrils, ears and eyes, and her breath comes and goes in rasping, ragged gulps. Her voice is even more broken and akin to a dying old crone, sly and full of contempt.

Ngama Ngama is a wretched devil, even as devils go. If someone enters the ritual room, she will use all the guile and trickery she can to get anyone to cut her free.
"You want my power, manling? But of course - just free my hand that I may lay it on you..."
"Manling... I will grant you my blessing if you but cut free these brambles - they pain me so...!"
"Pull me free, manling! I can lead you to a hidden reliquary of wealth in this tomb if you but let me out!"


Setting her free will be sheer folly - as soon as any of her bindings are cut or spikes removed, she will be able to pull the rest of her body free and attack anyone relentlessly, biting and scratching with unholy strength and fervor.

A wiser individual will see through her ruse, and refuse to free her. She will try everything from begging, to bribing, to threatening someone to unleash her, but once she sees that they remain steadfast, she will give in. Ngama Ngama will then offer the clever person her boon.
"I see you are above the others, manling. Very well, would you like my gift?"
"I concede defeat, manling. You may but say the word and my boon is yours to own."

But 'ware, for it is folly also to accept this. Ngama Ngama's boon is in fact a horrific curse! She is a beast of both agony and deceit, and her curse is two-fold. Firstly, at the end of each cycle of the moon, when it is new and dark in the sky, the victim feels the pain of a thousand iron nails stabbing through his or her skin. About once a month they become enfevered and irrational, and blood and black tar bleed from their pores. This is not fatal but it is debilitating.
In addition, Ngama Ngama also bestows them the curse of deceit; but not in a beneficial way. Anyone interacting with the cursed person will naturally be less inclined to trust them - thinking they are lying or twisting their words, even when they are being genuine.

The cleverest individual will become aware after listening to her trickery that Ngama Ngama is not a devil to be bargained with. They must refuse all of her offers and ignore all threats.

Ngama Ngama is not without use, however. She is knowledgeable on all deviltry, and knows many tricks, techniques and importantly; weaknesses, of other devils which may be summoned. She is best use as a font of information for OTHER devil callings.

Once the tomb is open and unsealed, Ngama Ngama will survive for one lunar cycle until she dies. If the tomb is not opened once summoning her, she will remain locked in there indefinitely.
Even if she is freed, she will only survive one lunar cycle, but for that cycle she will wreak havoc on any civilisation nearby.
Running a blade through her tar-filled heart will send her back to her own plane of existence, and kill the virgin.


rolepalying Note:
Players do not necessarily have to SUMMON Ngama Ngama. Why not have her tied up to a room in one of your typical dungeon runs - summoned centuries ago but not returned to. You don't even have to give the players a heads-up or backstory. Just toss it in there to flavour up a dungeon and see how they handle it! She may try and trick them into being a torture victim to get them to set her free, or offer them some power...

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30 Devils
Plots  (Crisis)   (Single-Storyline)
Shadoweagle's comment on 2013-05-04 06:07 AM
Woah, you added a bunch of them before I posted my own idea! :p I have to change Ngama Ngama's number now! Go to Comment
30 Devils
Plots  (Crisis)   (Single-Storyline)
Shadoweagle's comment on 2013-05-04 06:19 AM
alright, this is starting to get filled out enough for me to vote on. I think it's great, and can't wait to see what else is in store!

Also, Chester... I HATE that guy! :D Go to Comment
30 Devils
Plots  (Crisis)   (Single-Storyline)
Shadoweagle's comment on 2013-05-04 06:40 AM
All good questions! Those details can be filled in on a case-by-case basis :p

I sorta considered Ngama Ngama as something an ancient aztec-like civilization summoned without knowing what they were getting themselves into. Havoc ensued and after a few costly attempts at getting something good out of her, the civilization put those pictographs up. If only it could be deciphered properly, people would realize that the pictographs are actually a warning NOT to summon her, rather than instructions to do so. :p Go to Comment
30 Devils
Plots  (Crisis)   (Single-Storyline)
Scrasamax's comment on 2013-05-06 08:05 AM
Impressive sir, each of these would easily be 3-3.5 star submissions on their own. Some would be 4s.
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30 Devils
Plots  (Crisis)   (Single-Storyline)
Cheka Man's comment on 2013-05-04 07:12 PM
I'm holding my vote, but when I vote it'll be high. Go to Comment
30 Devils
Plots  (Crisis)   (Single-Storyline)
Cheka Man's comment on 2013-05-20 08:50 PM
15) Wanga Wonga

Wanga Wonga is summoned by drawing an $ shaped pentacle and burning with fire upon a full moon an item that is precious to you. He appears as a rich banker in fine clothing. His offer to you is that in exchange for a little of your life force each time you use his money, you will always be in credit and if you can stay alive for more then 25 years you won't go to hell when you die.

Most people who take up the deal however are lucky to live for 5 years, as they cease to earn their own money as it is so much easier to use the devil's money as a welfare system, and they don't feel weak or ill as their own life force is slowly siphoned away. Until they suddenly die of a heart attack and their soul is captured and plunged into hell. Go to Comment
30 Devils
Plots  (Crisis)   (Single-Storyline)
Dragonlordmax's comment on 2013-05-04 12:08 PM
Very nice. Evocative, interesting, and creepy. There's some good stuff here. Of course, you're still missing 9 of them, but keep going. It looks good! Go to Comment
30 Devils
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Kassy's comment on 2013-05-21 09:49 AM
4.5/5

Great idea. Redirected here thanks to Redgre.

Would have been 4.0 but the fact that other authors have taken the time to help out gives it that extra 0.5 Go to Comment
30 Devils
Plots  (Crisis)   (Single-Storyline)
Moonlake's comment on 2013-05-04 02:18 AM
Though quite early for the 30 tag yet, what's here are fairly fleshed out and of high quality. I especially like no 2 and 3.

A few typos with the first devil, though: typical (in 1st line) spelled wrong, 'his' typed twice (2nd paragraph, 1st line), omission of the word "to" (last paragraph, line 4) Go to Comment
30 Devils
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Moonlake's comment on 2013-05-04 06:43 AM
I don't think so because the hyperlink to the sub is attached to the original title you create the sub in. Well, of course, if you are somehow really desperate to change the name, you can PM Strolen but in this case, I wouldn't worry abt it as there are plenty of subs here that are titled 30 something and never reaches it. Besides, if you are here on Strolens for the long term (as you seem to be), then you can always make it reach 30 by bumping this sub even when you run out of ideas on this one. But if you're thinking of doing more than 30 here, I personally advise against it. Given the amount of details you go into each devil, I just think ppl might go insane if they see more than 30 entries on this sub. You can always submit another sub titled 30 More Devils or sth if you can more inspiration. Go to Comment
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