While the stick itself is a nice curious object, all of those effects either A) Destroy your Campaign, or B) Turn it into a Monthy Python montage. But hey, if that's what you're after, then this is the stick for you! Go to Comment
Ooh, I like it. Definitely an interesting poison, and one which I could definitely see seeing some use in a game.
There are no doubt a lot of plot hooks you can get from here, but I would like to see some actually listed out. I think a few good one's would really help this sub out.
You know, this could be a perfect justification for a unicorn hunt, for example. You could imagine a dream world parallel to this one. Perhaps kingsleep makes you more active there. Maybe the slowed bodily functions make this a substitute for stasis on a slower than light colony ship. Imagine trying to build a new colony when everybody can only work for an hour a day. Etc etc. Go to Comment
Love it. Everything you want in an exotic flower. You get a bit of the evocative, a bit of the ol' NatGeo, the applications and uses, a splash of legend, and its adoption as a cult's symbol. Green-thumbs up! Go to Comment
Flowers bloom for only one reason: to get pollinated. This is a job that moths (and bats!) can do just as well as bees. Night blooming flowers are usually pale-colored or white so that their pollinators can see it easy. They are usually more fragrant, too, for the same reason. Go to Comment
Interesting, I like the part with it blooming at night, though probably not very realistic. I suppose it's a magical creation? However, the effects of the flower seem very severe. This could easily be a game breaker, despite the antidote and the plot hooks of the cult. Imagine a gang of PCs getting their hands on the only known antidote for this poison after presumably slaughtering their way through the cult, all human enemies would be rendered useless(if they rely on a kitchen staff or similar) or extremely paranoid at the very least. It would have to be extremely rare indeed. Go to Comment
Actually, I think a lot of this is based on Mexican cartels, now that I reread it. Vast quantities of cocaine and ammunition pass pass through their hands. Google "Mexican mass grave" if you want some idea of the scope of their activities. They never seem to have any trouble combined drugs and murder.
And there is a long history of combining drugs and assassins, at least in the public mind.
Actually, when I read fantasy, a common criticism I have is that organizations seem too one-dimensional. There has never been a "Thieves' Guild" in all of human history, but there have been more complex analogues associated with other stuf. Real world organizations are multifaceted and complex. Hamas does terrorism, but they also run soup kitchens, make music videos, and run for public office. The Yakuza deal with everything from gambling to prostitution, and yet they also pay taxes and display their tattoos openly in parades. Don't forget that they Yakuza has a tremendous number of rituals and secret symbols. During the 1995 earthquake, they used their helicopter to provide disaster relief--and they acted faster than the authorities.
Real life is weird, and the bigger a fringe organization is, the more diverse it is likely to be.
I like the idea of a crazy cult involved with various activities, but right now it seems too chaotic. They seem to be involved with too many activities. They worship death, and they also have crazy drugs, and they also have pleasure mages, and they also enjoy killing things... I would, if I were you, rework it to have one of these things be the overarching theme, and everything else fall under that, and take a lesser importance too that.
I also have a problem with the idea of a drug filled cult member being able to go out and successfully kill a person.
Other than that, it ws a well fleshed out idea. I enjoyed the list of stuff that might happen at their parties. It gives the reader a good understanding of how crazy these people are. Go to Comment
Are you kidding me? I loved these guys. And I thought I had said that in my comment (I'm too lazy to scroll up right now and check). But yeah, I'll devote on these guys. I've relooked, and realized my point was moot. Go to Comment
This wasn't my thing at all, so dark and gorey, I felt a bit uncomfortable reading it. I would slap on a big warning at the top to discourage sensitive people from reading it. I think I'll refrain from voting, it was well written, with lots of content, but I don't feel I would be able to give it a fair score. That being said though, I'm firmly against censorship, so I won't tell you to change anything, except add a warning label. Go to Comment