Strolen\s Citadel content. 
Crawling Giants
Plots  (Crisis)   (Single-Storyline)
Murometz's comment on 2013-06-07 01:04 PM
This is the kind of "weird" i like. I don't need semi-scientific explanations on why they crawl or have every question on their existence explained. The unanswered questions is what gives them that "alien" feel and makes them intriguing to use. This has a somewhat chthonic vibe to it too, as if these giants are a nod to titans cast out and entombed by the "gods" eons ago...

mangle worms are great, crawlstones is a nice detail, and this line--- "In the strange half-seconds before he is fully awake, his eyes will form within their sockets, like an activated CRT monitor that must laboriously conjure up an electric image. The pupils will be tangled skeins of ice"----is great.

the only thing that bothered me for some reason as I read this, were the humorous tidbits (three carts of casserole, pissing them off, etc...) That stuff distracted a bit from the "alienness".

Anyway, i'm going to use them somehow! Go to Comment
Crawling Giants
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valadaar's comment on 2013-06-04 10:16 PM
This is an interesting piece - the giants are unique and i like the tone. It gets me thinking. Perhaps if you gave one a voice?

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Crawling Giants
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valadaar's comment on 2013-06-04 10:17 PM
Only voted Go to Comment
Crawling Giants
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Kassy's comment on 2013-06-03 04:55 AM
Only voted Go to Comment
Crawling Giants
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Elbin's comment on 2013-06-02 05:01 AM
3/5

It looks like the text will give a better impression if it wasn't broken up in piece. Then it could be a whole mythical story and not several pieces that feel unfinished taken away from the whole. It can be made into an old script describing the race of the giants from the perspective of the writer, and then it will not sound so unfinished. Go to Comment
Crawling Giants
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Moonlake's comment on 2013-06-02 02:13 AM
The idea of there being crawling giants I find unique and I quite these odd takes. However, I concur that this sub feels somewhat under-developed. Different to the comments above, though, for me, the content is sufficient (although I'm not averse to more info. provided as per previous comments). It's really the fact that first, you gave us a sort of mythical explanation of why the giants are here- they are chasing after some elusive lights in the ground (I presume that in doing so, they found an intra-dimensional rift or sth and crossed over to the current world and got stuck, anyway, that's my personal take on this) and then suddenly in the Wise Giants section, a biological reason on why they have to be crawling are given. And that just seems odd in terms of structuring content i.e. if they are the 2 reasons for why they have to be crawling, why is it that one is revealed at the start and one is mixed in with the Wise Giants section? Unless the biological reason was info revealed by the Wise Giants specifically, then it would make sense but currently in the sub, this is not the case.

So I second Redgre: good idea but edit/expansion needed Go to Comment
Crawling Giants
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Moonlake's comment on 2013-06-04 10:48 PM
Forganthus, I'm one of the ones voted 3.5. I have read the edit and I keep to my vote b/c my pt on the structuring of this piece still stands. I still do not see how it adds value to the flow or the atmosphere of this piece to have content that I see belong together in one section being separately revealed as in the current write-up. For example, I would say the bit abt the giants chasing underground lights, their inability to deal with gravity and their physiology being different to normal giants in fantasy all belong together in one section (I would title it General Description or Crawling Giants) but currently, you have them scattered in 3 sections. 

On your concern over storytelling, I would think Elbin's suggestion of making this an old script by someone describing this race will hit the nail on the head in this regard.  I actually thought this was more or less what you are doing now as this is written in 1st person tense but then I would add an extra line at the end to let ppl know they are reading an excerpt from some written work like this: ~ An excerpt from xxxx. However, if you don't want to keep to the conventional structure of grouping content as this will be leading you towards, then you can write it this whole sub in the voice of someone who learnt abt info. on these Crawling Giants bit by bit and then it would justify the current structure of content not being grouped together. 


Overall, I really think me and Elbin are saying the same things abt this sub although our votes are slightly different. Happy to revote on it after edit. If I don't see a revised version of this myself, just PM me. You can probably PM Gossamer and Redgre and ask them for a revote now as it seems to me like they are mainly after more info on these Giants and your addition of the Explanations section will have satisfied them in that regard already. 


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Crawling Giants
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Moonlake's comment on 2013-06-05 02:13 AM
I see, I thought you were requesting input for an edit but I understand that sometimes there are just pieces that you are done with and don't want to do major work on. Go to Comment
Crawling Giants
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Redgre's comment on 2013-06-02 01:05 AM
I second, that this is a strange sub. It feels incomplete. You've given us an explanation that the PCs would get after several encounters with the giants and the worms, but not much more. Here are a few questions I would love to hear your take on. 1) How big are the giants? 2) You've described them as dimensional wanderers; how do they get from one world to another? I take it they can't leave for one reason or another. 3) Are the mangle worms from the same home dimension as the giants? 4) How do the giants move underground? (do they burrow, only use previously dug passages, have selective intangibility, other magic, how?) 5) The giants sound ridiculously slow and noisy, how can they be successful hunters? and if they are successful what keeps their hunting/foraging activities from bringing down the wrath of locals and/or nocturnal races (considering they've been doing this ages now and their feeding requirements are huge)?

I think it's quite a good idea. Just needs further fleshing out. Go to Comment
Crawling Giants
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Forganthus's comment on 2013-06-02 03:21 AM
Questions asked; answers given.

Vonnegut said that semi-colons are only good for showing that you've been to college.

Anyway, thank you for all of the feedback. Crawling giants are *supposed* to be weird and alien--they're from another dimension. Burrowing "makes sense" for a giant worm, but as soon as you apply it to a giant humanoid, it is strange and terrible. And it sticks in my imagination like a chickenbone in the throat, so I'm glad I finally typed this one out. Go to Comment
Crawling Giants
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Forganthus's comment on 2013-06-03 07:16 PM
3.5 is a score that I am unhappy with. Bad formatting? Too many ambiguities? Just too weird?

I could break it up into History, Biology, Culture (like I've done in the past), but that sucks all the storytelling out of it. Go to Comment
Crawling Giants
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Forganthus's comment on 2013-06-04 11:41 PM
It *could* use some reformatting, but I'm not going to edit it. I will strive to lay out future subs better, though. Go to Comment
Crawling Giants
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caesar193's comment on 2013-06-05 09:53 PM
This is genius. I love the idea of inter dimensional wanderers who have lived in conditions with very low or non-existent gravity.

If I ever run a campaign, the PCs are going to have to flee from a mangle worm. No, wait- a mangle worm in as discovered the city. Anywhere it pops up, it gets a tasty. And the king wants someone to reclaim this city.

I can see the formatting issues, yes, but the way you presented the info was great. This gets a 4.5/5 (I was leaning towards 5/5, and almost did), and a HoH when I can.

The idea of humanoids swimming through ground is bizarre, and weird, and will mess with heads. The fact that it is so bizarre is what makes it so awesome to begin with.

This most definitely earns the caesar193 seal of approval, and the caesar193 gold medal for awesomeness.

This is genius. Go to Comment
Crawling Giants
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caesar193's comment on 2013-06-05 09:55 PM
Two things. That's a 'a mangle worm HAS discovered a city'
Second: if I forget to HoH when I can HoH this work of art, PM me. Though this is so genius I'll probably remember Go to Comment
Crawling Giants
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Gossamer's comment on 2013-06-01 03:15 PM
This is a very strange sub... If one were to put these giants into a world, it would probably have to be at the cost of the more normal kind of giants to make some sense. Otherwise, why can some giants support their own weight and these cannot. Not really sure what they are made of, but they put me in mind of the Moai Statues somehow. Maybe that part about the earlobes. May I ask where your inspiration came from?

Here's a typo;

Unless he can get exhume his legs quickly Go to Comment
Weird Stick
Plots  (Crisis)   (Single-Storyline)
Cheka Man's comment on 2013-05-08 09:29 PM
31-Rod makes undead erupt from the earth.
Roll a die D1 to D2-The rod's user can control them. D3 to D4-They attack both sides equally D5-They run away in terror. D6-They do an elaborate "Thriller" style dance routine.
32-Rod makes user's nose grow three inches each time they tell a lie
33-Rod turns into a powerful magic sword until the fight is over, then turns back into the rod
34-Rod summons rats that are under the user's control
35-Rod makes theme music that goes on for an hour
36-Rod floats away into the air
37-Rod makes opponents start dancing crazily
38-Rod makes everyone nearby including the user start hallucinating
39-Rod makes user into copy of his or her ideal love interest-effect lasts until user masturbates
40-Rod deflects any missiles fired/hurled at the rod's owner Go to Comment
Weird Stick
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Cheka Man's comment on 2013-05-08 09:31 PM
Very amusing. Go to Comment
Weird Stick
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Kassy's comment on 2013-05-18 07:27 AM
Only voted Go to Comment
Weird Stick
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Forganthus's comment on 2013-05-08 10:35 AM
1. Everyone around becomes only able to see the color yellow. Fades after 1d3 days.
2. User talks in a high pitched voice like a chipmunk. Lasts 1d3 years.
3. For the next 10 minutes, all skin sticks to skin. Creatures stuck together will begin to merge.
4. Everyone swaps bodies! Effects permanent, but can be removed like a normal curse if both present.
5. The sun appears to turn into a giant, singing head. It shoots sunbeams at anyone who doesn't sing along.
6. Random creature turns into whatever it most scorns.
7. Everyone's bones vibrate, damaging them and playing techno music.
8. Gravity is turned sideways in a 1000' radius. Lasts 1 minute.
9. A tunnel appears going straight down. Leads to other side of world. Will become a major trade route.
10. The Stick begins assimilating the nearest objects, turning into a supergolem. Then it flies away. Go to Comment
Weird Stick
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Forganthus's comment on 2013-05-08 10:43 AM
11. Flying cats blanket the sky. Drop magical candies for miles around. Leave trail to giant gold cat statue.
12. Everyone gets the distinct, and irrefutable notion that they are hanging upside down by their feet.
13. Everyone nearby reduced to 1/100th their normal size. Permanent, but can be lifted as normal curse.
14. Everyone's arms disappear. Permanent, but can be lifted as normal curse.
15. User becomes a 1-werewolf, 2-werepig, 3-wereshark, 4-werewoman, 5-weredinosaur, 6-weretree.
16. Stick begins firing .50 cal bullets from tip like a machine gun. Fires continuously for 10 minutes. Loud.
17. Everyone trying to fight someone makes out with them instead. And vice-versa. Lasts 30 minutes.
18. Marakelzon, the God of Swords appears. Cannot be hurt by swords. Befriends dumbest person.
19. The whole world goes blind. Curable by magic. Children will not be affected.
20. Giant hand reaches down from heaven. Takes Stick. Scolds user. Go to Comment
Total Comments:
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