The idea was to give ogres a big, powerful weapon that could be introduced if/when the PCs start seeing ogres as easy or boring. Of course, ogres should never be easy or boring, I think. They're huge and really strong!
Is the story at the top too long? I worry it might detract from the post. Go to Comment
Lovecraftian monsters aren't really my cup of tea, but you did a splendid job on this one. It seems well-balanced, and a good GM could play it up beautifully. Your writing is chock-full of vivid sensory details that really bring this thing to life. Rarely have I seen a beastie described so well -- especially with senses other than sight. 4.0 + 0.5 for the excellent sensory descriptions. Go to Comment
I have to say I really like the concept of Zala Vacha, the forgotten gods collective. At first, I read that and thought that this singular deity is a representation of several (or many) long forgotten gods no longer worshipped. Which also might be an interesting idea.
I also like the fact that the worshipers of Mondaloa seek not to destroy the undead per se, but to also allow for the dead to truly and properly "rest in peace"..
This is well written and evokes the proper tone and atmosphere for the subject matter (cities beneath cities, and countless undead). It almost feels like a classic dungeon-crawl, except its draped with a fresh and stimulating approach.
Exceptionally well written. A nice new take on the undead, and the god of death also.
OT: I notice my level has been reset to 1. Yet I have kept my xp and submissions. Is there a way for this to be fixed? Or will it reset itself naturally when the server next updates. Presumably it will be the latter, but I thought I should ask just to be on the safe side. Go to Comment
I like the idea of the undead being treated differently, with respect. That made a nice change.
No criticism as such, except for that part where you used "Deeper in," as a sentence starter twice in a row. That irked me for some reason. The second sentence could perhaps have been differently worded. Maybe; "Delving even further into the catacombs..." or something like it?
I think I like the "quadruplets embodying different values" (the same super-consciousness thing might go well with this, the quadruplets might be all inheriting different parts of the alien mindset of the Cursed Lady, for example.) and opposite gender switching body ideas, not so keen on the "linked, quadripartite organism" thing. The rest of the bunch, I'm so-so.
And btw, I sort of like OmegaDraco's suggestion on the reversing each other's deed thing. Like you said, if they cycle ppl b/w them, then it might get harder and harder to get a reaction from those ppl whose lives are 'constantly' thrown in ups-and-downs. But maybe in those cases, somehow the emotions fed to the twins thru this sort of ppl are more nourishing to the twins. I'm just throwing ideas around, btw.
Overall, I think I'm seeing some potential for this sub. I quite like the new twist you present on the "good twin, evil twin" myself- the emotion feeding aspect is quite nice, so don't give up easily if you feel you can take it somewhere. Go to Comment
What if they could fuse together? No, that's even more super-lame.
What about instead of "twins with guardian monsters", it's "quadruplets embodying different values" on the bestial/civilized and pleasure-loving/pain-loving axes?
What if they were all part of the same super-consciousness?
What if the twins/quadruplets were born disembodied, and needed to find host bodies to fulfill their goals?
What if we abandon the whole good/evil thing and just make it a linked, quadripartite organism composed of identical quadruplets? (eh, seen it before).
what if the twins are opposite genders, share a body, and switch from one to the other every full moon? The Nastrobeast is something more sinister--it's the dominant one in the relationship, and it drives the Nastro to his/her extremes?
Are any of these good ideas?
Should I just scrap the whole thing? Don't be shy about calling rubbish rubbish.