Actually, I think a lot of this is based on Mexican cartels, now that I reread it. Vast quantities of cocaine and ammunition pass pass through their hands. Google "Mexican mass grave" if you want some idea of the scope of their activities. They never seem to have any trouble combined drugs and murder.
And there is a long history of combining drugs and assassins, at least in the public mind.
Actually, when I read fantasy, a common criticism I have is that organizations seem too one-dimensional. There has never been a "Thieves' Guild" in all of human history, but there have been more complex analogues associated with other stuf. Real world organizations are multifaceted and complex. Hamas does terrorism, but they also run soup kitchens, make music videos, and run for public office. The Yakuza deal with everything from gambling to prostitution, and yet they also pay taxes and display their tattoos openly in parades. Don't forget that they Yakuza has a tremendous number of rituals and secret symbols. During the 1995 earthquake, they used their helicopter to provide disaster relief--and they acted faster than the authorities.
Real life is weird, and the bigger a fringe organization is, the more diverse it is likely to be.
I like the idea of a crazy cult involved with various activities, but right now it seems too chaotic. They seem to be involved with too many activities. They worship death, and they also have crazy drugs, and they also have pleasure mages, and they also enjoy killing things... I would, if I were you, rework it to have one of these things be the overarching theme, and everything else fall under that, and take a lesser importance too that.
I also have a problem with the idea of a drug filled cult member being able to go out and successfully kill a person.
Other than that, it ws a well fleshed out idea. I enjoyed the list of stuff that might happen at their parties. It gives the reader a good understanding of how crazy these people are. Go to Comment
Are you kidding me? I loved these guys. And I thought I had said that in my comment (I'm too lazy to scroll up right now and check). But yeah, I'll devote on these guys. I've relooked, and realized my point was moot. Go to Comment
This wasn't my thing at all, so dark and gorey, I felt a bit uncomfortable reading it. I would slap on a big warning at the top to discourage sensitive people from reading it. I think I'll refrain from voting, it was well written, with lots of content, but I don't feel I would be able to give it a fair score. That being said though, I'm firmly against censorship, so I won't tell you to change anything, except add a warning label. Go to Comment
Ngama Ngama is a forgotten devil of an ancient Aztecian origin. She stands for deceit and agony. The only traces of information that can be found of her lie on dusty tomb walls which, using cryptic pictographs, suggest that the method of summoning her is to kidnap a virgin and take her to a specific tomb within the heart of a sweltering forest. In a ritual room deep within this tomb, one must tie brambled vines to the virgin's wrists, and tie those vines to elevated hooks on a particular bloodied wall. The ritual then demands that the virgin's wrists and ankles be nailed to the wall using spikes of iron. Once the still-living woman is bound properly, she must be sealed, undisturbed within the tomb for at least one full moon cycle. If the ritual room is unsealed early, the hopeful summoner will only find the woman, dead upon the wall. If the tomb is opened after the alloted time, they will find that the woman still appears to be alive. But once light is brought over to the wall, it will become evident that it is not the woman there at all - instead, it is Ngama Ngama.
Ngama Ngama appears as an animated, dessicated female corpse. She retains some basic features of the virgin who was restrained previously. In accordance to the ritual, she will be suspended on a wall within the tomb, brambled vines and iron spikes holding her in place. In addition, a plethora of iron spikes of various size and shape will also somehow have found themselves through her body and limbs. A black, viscous tar will seem to be sweating out of Ngama Ngama's pores, as well as bleeding generously out of her mouth, nostrils, ears and eyes, and her breath comes and goes in rasping, ragged gulps. Her voice is even more broken and akin to a dying old crone, sly and full of contempt.
Ngama Ngama is a wretched devil, even as devils go. If someone enters the ritual room, she will use all the guile and trickery she can to get anyone to cut her free. "You want my power, manling? But of course - just free my hand that I may lay it on you..." "Manling... I will grant you my blessing if you but cut free these brambles - they pain me so...!" "Pull me free, manling! I can lead you to a hidden reliquary of wealth in this tomb if you but let me out!"
Setting her free will be sheer folly - as soon as any of her bindings are cut or spikes removed, she will be able to pull the rest of her body free and attack anyone relentlessly, biting and scratching with unholy strength and fervor.
A wiser individual will see through her ruse, and refuse to free her. She will try everything from begging, to bribing, to threatening someone to unleash her, but once she sees that they remain steadfast, she will give in. Ngama Ngama will then offer the clever person her boon. "I see you are above the others, manling. Very well, would you like my gift?" "I concede defeat, manling. You may but say the word and my boon is yours to own."
But 'ware, for it is folly also to accept this. Ngama Ngama's boon is in fact a horrific curse! She is a beast of both agony and deceit, and her curse is two-fold. Firstly, at the end of each cycle of the moon, when it is new and dark in the sky, the victim feels the pain of a thousand iron nails stabbing through his or her skin. About once a month they become enfevered and irrational, and blood and black tar bleed from their pores. This is not fatal but it is debilitating. In addition, Ngama Ngama also bestows them the curse of deceit; but not in a beneficial way. Anyone interacting with the cursed person will naturally be less inclined to trust them - thinking they are lying or twisting their words, even when they are being genuine.
The cleverest individual will become aware after listening to her trickery that Ngama Ngama is not a devil to be bargained with. They must refuse all of her offers and ignore all threats.
Ngama Ngama is not without use, however. She is knowledgeable on all deviltry, and knows many tricks, techniques and importantly; weaknesses, of other devils which may be summoned. She is best use as a font of information for OTHER devil callings.
Once the tomb is open and unsealed, Ngama Ngama will survive for one lunar cycle until she dies. If the tomb is not opened once summoning her, she will remain locked in there indefinitely. Even if she is freed, she will only survive one lunar cycle, but for that cycle she will wreak havoc on any civilisation nearby. Running a blade through her tar-filled heart will send her back to her own plane of existence, and kill the virgin.
rolepalying Note: Players do not necessarily have to SUMMON Ngama Ngama. Why not have her tied up to a room in one of your typical dungeon runs - summoned centuries ago but not returned to. You don't even have to give the players a heads-up or backstory. Just toss it in there to flavour up a dungeon and see how they handle it! She may try and trick them into being a torture victim to get them to set her free, or offer them some power...
All good questions! Those details can be filled in on a case-by-case basis :p
I sorta considered Ngama Ngama as something an ancient aztec-like civilization summoned without knowing what they were getting themselves into. Havoc ensued and after a few costly attempts at getting something good out of her, the civilization put those pictographs up. If only it could be deciphered properly, people would realize that the pictographs are actually a warning NOT to summon her, rather than instructions to do so. :p Go to Comment
I don't think so because the hyperlink to the sub is attached to the original title you create the sub in. Well, of course, if you are somehow really desperate to change the name, you can PM Strolen but in this case, I wouldn't worry abt it as there are plenty of subs here that are titled 30 something and never reaches it. Besides, if you are here on Strolens for the long term (as you seem to be), then you can always make it reach 30 by bumping this sub even when you run out of ideas on this one. But if you're thinking of doing more than 30 here, I personally advise against it. Given the amount of details you go into each devil, I just think ppl might go insane if they see more than 30 entries on this sub. You can always submit another sub titled 30 More Devils or sth if you can more inspiration. Go to Comment
Wylowex is the one you summon if you are desperate to bring someone back from the dead. Her usual summoner is: • 89% - a lonely male obsessed with a younger woman. Often stalking the woman is reason she is dead.
• 5% - obsessed parents with a strange background who lost a child (sounds like Pet Semetary, I know)
• 4% - a religious/political fanatic wanting to bring back a dead leader
• 2% - woman obsessed with a man who died young
To summon Wylowex, one must exhume the grave, of corpse to be brought back, in the darkest night under a new moon. No light may touch the grave except for open flame. The summoner must have three personal possessions of the corpse. After sacrificing a pregnant female mammal Wylowex with wander onto the scene.
Wylowex appears as the corpse of a seven foot tall pregnant woman. With her belly protruding and uncovered, one can see faces and hands pushing out against the flesh, as though they would like to escape. Her body is appears to be afflicted with severe frostbite in her extremities. The ring and middle finger on each hand are abnormally long, with abnormally long claws on each of these fingers. Her left eye burns with a cold blue flame, but her right is dark and unmoving. When she speaks, live maggots fall from her mouth.
She has a motherly way about her. Often soothing the summoner and consoling him for his loss one minute and then scolding demanding he act like a man the next minute. This series of personality changes slows as negotiations finalize. If the summoner will sign, she will be more ‘loving’… if he decides against, she will become utterly disgusted and will say things like, ‘your brother would have signed by now. Are you determined to always live in his shadow?’ or ‘I knew from the moment I laid eyes on you that you weren’t a man. Why would you bring me here for this? Your mother must have hated you from the moment you were born.’
The price of this boon is that whatever ‘sins’ or ‘crimes’ the person brought back commits are on the head of the signer.
If the deal is signed, she will take the corpse and swallow it whole, her face stretching and growing to accept the size of the ‘meal’. The faces previously visible in her stomach vanish and one new face appears. Using her claws, Wylowex tears open her own belly and the person to be resurrected tumbles out of her belly. The person is very much alive, unconscious, and buck naked. Wylowex then takes the three personal possessions and puts them in her open belly. She reminds the summoner of the price and then wanders away much in the same way she arrived.
The person resurrected will have no remembrance of their death or Wylowex. Although they act a bit awkward they behave much like their old selves only they will are much more positive towards the summoner. If the summoner desired a ‘romantic’ relationship they will get it. If the summoner was facing a murder charge, baffled the police will drop the case, and possibly question the coroner’s sanity. The person resurrected will begin a secret crime spree in the next few months consisting of murdering clergy, theft of religious artifacts, burning down churches, charities, homeless shelters, and leaving the most disturbing graffiti near the crime scene. Any witnesses will see the summoner, not the person who was brought back. This crime spree will eventually result in the summoners arrest unless they become really crafty and as devious as humanly possible. Go to Comment