Interesting and yet kind of corney. Go to Comment

nice idea.
qoute lain "how did the curse backfire".
a good piece all in all. Go to Comment

A nice take on the medusa artist, with a twist and many hints how to play in a game the loss of sanity (system-independant, a big plus). Good work.


Pariah's comment is right on - there will always be people who don't behave as expected. If we go for more fantasy, I imagine a slightly disturbed type, a statue-to-be, who does seem to fall into a coma of sorts. However, because of a latent magical talent or something is his desperate state manifested like a poltergeist, that spooks in Her villa. The she will hire privately some adventurers to get rid of the host, but not find out her secret.


Also, statues are sometimes handled roughly, or fall and break... what if one of them reveals its contents in this way?


And lastly, someone could recognize the person the statue is made of - a missing brother or sister, but when did they stand model for a statue?

Hey, it provoked three plot hooks in a short time. A good sign for any submission. Go to Comment

Pretty good. Go to Comment

Really very good. Go to Comment

Solid submission, the amount of detail given to the steady and inevitable erosion of sanity while encased is superb. Go to Comment

I have an issue with this - if you apply even half an inch of cement over someone, far too little to be stable, the proportions and features will change significantly, hence removing likeness. Also, a cement casing would not spread evenly over someone's features, but rather tend to smoothen them out.

How thick would the casing have to be to be stable anyway?

While avoiding the Medusa clichee is commendable, as written it is not feasible.

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One of the nasteir villians here. 5/5 Go to Comment

Gods, this girl is truly evil – and too clever by half

The player will NEVER work this out – well, not until it’s far too late

Love it – 5/5 & today’s HoH vote Go to Comment

I only have one problem with this and it's in the insanity thing, but it's moot for most adventurers. It concernes Mr. Monk, who can volentarily enter a quasi-comotose state. Would she seal him all up the first time he did that? I'm sure this would confuse her a bit, "Wait, you don't want to listen to me? EVERYONE WANTS TO LISTEN TO ME EVENTUALLY!!!"

Anyway, good job. Go to Comment

A wonderful bit of macabre wax-museum villany. It's got a great horror atmosphere (reminds me of Madame Tussauds crossed with the X-Files), as well as being very detailed and fleshed out. Great work! Go to Comment

The "evil witch/wizard who encases people in stone" is an oldie (I'm instantly reminded of both Medusa and the White Witch from Narnia), but this is well-written enough to be a classic homage rather than a cheap copy.

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I almost began by falling into the "Great for a first submission!" trap crap. But I wont say that. Doesnt matter if its your first or one hundred and first.
Its a great submission!

When I started reading I "assumed" it would be dealing with a medusa-type, but no...this is much better!

The only thing I find confusing is the whole "its magic, its not magic" back and forth. Or maybe I didnt understand it correctly. Either way, fascinating piece. Insanity is always a plus in my book as well!

I officially welcome you to the ranks. It doesnt take a Nostradamus to predict you'll have more treats for us soon! Go to Comment

The magic/not magic thing: The encasement itself isn't magic. Its basically like a cement mixture she spreads over the victims. Magic is sustaining them, however, since you obviously wouldn't live long encased in cement without food or water... or air for that matter. She can use magic, and will to capture them and hold them for a pose but the encasement is entirely natural. It becomes very hard when dry so flexing a couple muscles won't be able to break out of it. Thanks for the comments so far. Go to Comment

mint.
a really good piece of work. Go to Comment

I think this is a great sub, though I think the entire handling of insanity is distracting and perhaps is fodder for another sub. Most systems have some rules regarding insanity. Simply indicating that those encased are subject to insanity over time would have been fine for me.

Regarding the physics being non-feasible, all it takes is to say the cement is indeed magic and forms a paper-thin coat that still happens to be as strong as concrete.

Or, the super-strong coating is created _by_ magic but is not in itself magic.

For all it matters, I'd have the coating be magic and be done with it.

I have never been a fan of expecting Fantasy subs to ascribe to closely to real world physics. Go to Comment