I have no problem with it being essentially a one-use item - that's fine
I DO have a problem with it being way too over-powered - an entire hurricane, with all the attendant destructive power, just by breaking a glass vial - a little rain and small lighting bolt is MORE than enough
I also don't like "ancient artefact" type items - it's a cop-out
Basic idea - pretty good (4)
Way too powerful (-1)
Ancient artefact (-1)
But really cool special effects (+1/2)
So - 2.5 / 5 Go to Comment
Personally, I like powerful items (to a degree) and a one shot hurricane item does not bother me, so long as it was dang expensive and difficult to create.
It could easily cause an "Oh Crap!" moment :)
I would have it take effect over a slightly longer period then 30 seconds. To affect miles and miles of clouds, the magic effect would need to take a while.
What if there were no clouds? I could see them appearing, but 30 seconds?
Now, this really is the equivalent to a magic Atomic Bomb and would need to be treated as such with attendant magical protections, security forces, etc.
An enemy mage could easily teleport (if available) into a city, plant and activate it, and then leave. Go to Comment
Hidden pasts are the crutch of people who don't want to fill out things.
Just because the people in the world do not know the character's past, the GM/ reader should know their history so they can more easily insert the character into their world.
That said, I like the style of the character and its presentation. Go to Comment
As long as you mention that fact in the character's background and personality (or that they may lie about it, or allude to other things to confuse the issue), it should not be a problem.
Like Lain said, it is a visually effective character (Your other one is as well).
A nice character even so - you can really visualise him and it would be relatively easy to slot him in to the majority of campaign worlds. Go to Comment
Hmmm...I think Simon was better than this one.
We do get a good idea of his personality, and I like the name. However, the whole tattooes thing:
"He does not remember where the tattoos came from. While doing a mercenary job for a church, he was confronted with the monks of a dark god. He cannot recall what happened after he first saw them, but remembers waking up in their monastary, bald and tattooed. He slew them all before they realized he had gained consciousness, fulfilling his contract."
That leaves me cold. Oh well.
Good!
Some information on the cult or what these tattoos are all about, even if the character did not know about the effects, the GM/ reader should know about them. Go to Comment
How about this for an idea: the tattoos of the cult were intended to bind him to the will of cult (he sounds like the sort of person who'd be very useful to a dark cult). Unfortunately for them, the spell was such that someone has to conciousless assert their will over the tattooed victim: as Wasp slew them all before they realised he had regained consciousness he foiled their plan. Two possible uses for this are:
a) The cult wasn't unique: this leaves Wasp vulnerable to falling under the sway of the followers of this dark god should he come across them again.
b) Someone else could recognise the tattoos and assume that Wasp is a minion of this dark cult. They would then presumably try to kill him, get him locked up or panic, depending on their temperament. Go to Comment
Hmm - one thing I don-t get (in fact I'm surprised nobody else has pick up on this)
"That night, he killed the man who had beaten his friend to death, along with many of the other humans."
If he was that efficient, and that deadly, all the way back hen, how did the humans ever manage to enslave him - and how come he remained a slave for 30 years - just doesn't seem to make sense
Apart from that - not bad at all - not quite in the same class as the Simon character, but pretty good nonetheless
3.5 / 5 - but I think I'll downgrade half a point for the anomaly regarding his enslavement - 3/5 Go to Comment
Items (Other) (Magical)
I DO have a problem with it being way too over-powered - an entire hurricane, with all the attendant destructive power, just by breaking a glass vial - a little rain and small lighting bolt is MORE than enough
I also don't like "ancient artefact" type items - it's a cop-out
Basic idea - pretty good (4)
Way too powerful (-1)
Ancient artefact (-1)
But really cool special effects (+1/2)
So - 2.5 / 5 Go to Comment