I like the idea that the mountain was basically quarried away to build the temple. I could imagine ascending it- walking up ramps and ancient ladders and scaffolds that were not removed after the building of the House, sheer ledges, long worker's pathways, and, near the top, the ascending ways blasted away so that the only entrance is the portal in the Citadel.
Interesting idea, nicely done. I like the conflict between those who wanted to lavishly appoint the house of the abbot with the ascetic drive of the Perbus who desired be unadorned. All too often in games, it becomes for the greater glory of the PC, with no glory left for god.
I could see this character in a abandoned and broken down temple. The weather outside being inclement, the characters enter the building.
Wacky supernatural hijinks soon occur. That is my humerous way of saying that intense roleplaying, player confusing events will occur soon after. He would never actually tell them what was wrong with him... (no that would be too easy). By the time the characters figure it out... it will be way, way too late to deal with this in an easy way. Go to Comment
This could be certainly a very interesting case of multiple personality disorder, ala Fight Club but with a very Dracula-Castlevania feel to it. The basic story of being spirit-tied to the vampire reminds me of King Muchaduka from Hindu myth who slaughter demons, and as a reward from the gods was allowed to enter an eternal rest. Whomever awoken him would be struck dead by the force of his gaze.
An interesting idea. It smacks of Old-Skool Magic, if you know what I mean. Instead of the sorceror conjuring a storm from his fingers, he breaks an item or something. That's cool, I dig that.
No real background, except for a mention of being created in ancient times.
Seems a little powerful. It's a Diversion Item, one the villain would use to destroy the Army of Light or the city of his enemy, while he went to find the Crucial Artifact.
I'm going to take off points for not having a background, as well as being a little overpowered, but, overall, not so bad, so I'll say...
You wrote a beautiful description. Core idea is pretty good, too.
I have to agree that "minor artifact" and "one shot" don't really seem to jibe. Scale down the power (a good lightning or rain storm is plenty, without massive destruction - and might even have many more interesting uses), and make it a creatable object, and I think it's a winner (and still very powerful).
I'm also confused by the title, "Sands of Fury" -- there's no sand! I have to admit, my first thought was hourglass -> sand -> timed sandstorm (feel free to take the credit if you can use it). Go to Comment