What was the reason for this resistance movement? Who was Kros Embron and why did he create the Spies? How do the Espers differ from the Spies? What are the group's rituals and practices?
This has definite potential, but it needs work. Go to Comment
I'm not sure why this one was challenged. It is a great ground piece to launch your own spy-battle campaign from. You would need to fill in the blanks mentioned in previous comments and after that I think it would be usable. Sure, names would need to change, but I really see no good reason for challenging this one. Go to Comment
This seems more like an idea sub than an actual full submission. Things that I would like to see added in there.
1) Who was Kros Embron? Was he a King? An advisor to a King? A powerful merchant or simply a well connected and respected miscreant?
2) What was the resistance and how did it come about? What was the need to have someone look into it and destroy it later?
3) Where did the Spies of Lindor gain their training to become so adept at what they needed to do in such a short time?
4) If they were formed as information gatherers why does it seem that they became full fledged assassins in such short order?
5) Why was Kros killed by his second in command and why did the faction split into two, why not just stay under the command of Kros's killer?
6) Why the creation of the Espers of Lotrii? And where did their training in the assassin arts come from?
Not saying that this is a horrible sub by any means. It has a lot of potential I'm thinking but it definitely needs to be fleshed out more. Go to Comment
Why are the Spies and the Espers killing each other? Do their different strategies obstruct each other, and does each side blame the other because this "obstruction" is allowing the remnants of the Resistance to rebuild? Go to Comment
This looks like a fantasy translation of a scam that was in the news a few years back, in which the scammer would write out a check, coat it with a mild acidic solution, and then cash it at a local bank. Mild acids have been used for a long time to erase parts of documents, but in this case the check would be soaked in enough of the stuff that within a couple of hours it would turn to illegible paper mush (the hope being, I suppose, that what was left of the check couldn't be used as evidence).
The backstory doesn't do enough. As written, the nameless Merchant of Kintro would be sharing a bunk with a family of dungeon rats within days, shortly after the Baron's third son bought one of these necklaces for his mistress. Either the Merchant could have a motivation (enough to risk facing the Baron's justice), or the necklace could be a more common item...
... If as few as half a dozen of these necklaces, or other similar "ghost-goods", were found out to be in the city, the customs of the area might change. Perhaps a jeweler would present his goods to the customer for inspection, and then they would settle down and discuss the price over a leisurely three-hour lunch. If the jewelry disappears during the lunch, the jeweler goes to prison.
(Plot hook: a jeweler friend of the PCs has been arrested for this sort of fraud. He was framed by a servant, or a thief disguised as a servant, who stole the necklace during the three-hour wait.) Go to Comment