Wow, I love the character. The classical villian, powerful, yet a coward. Likable, and quick to anger, selfish and greedy. the item is astounding, but shouldent he destroy it? You know, so no one can use it against him? Or, is it so that if he destroys it he will revert back to his weak state, and even be consumed by the clock?
I have a question. If Korrney could get enormous powers with the bell, why hasn't he already used it in a town of, say, 2 millions of people? Then he would be like a god. Hasn't this occurred to him or something?
Anyways, a good character, with strong points, and weak points to make him feel real, not some munchkin guy, with powers to blast you into oblivion in the blink of an eye. Strong background, although finding the lost city was almost funny, the way he did it, it's a wonder it wasn't found before. Anyway.
I forgot to mention:
The bell works only once for each person without much risk and work - using it more than once would be coupled with quite some risk - and Korrney was to lazy/cowardly to work on using it another time. As he is written, I doubt he would risk losing what he has for an uncertain gain... Go to Comment
Now, Korrney is greedy - while he will not use the clock again anytime soon, he will preserve it in case he trust himslef enough to give it another go, and raze a more populous city.
So, he's afraid to use it, but well aware of its potential, and unwilling to let it go. Go to Comment
To translate: Krishna's mage was changed into a kitty after being offensive (quite a bit) by an NPC closely resembling Korrney.
I guess he'd like to point out that Korrney was not able to find a bigger city to unleash the power of the clock in, plus he had a personal grudge against that one.
The last sentence's meaning eludes me too. Go to Comment
This is terrific, at first I was turned off by the name, but then I thought of Puck. Really a great submission and I love the way its written 5 of 5. Next time I make a new fantasy world I hope that I can fit this into it.
Oh and the tower that floats cause the god of earth can't see it. Really fantastic touch, has that been done before? Go to Comment
I would have liked a bit more touch up on the presentation eg. maybe the first big chunk of text under Background could go into a blockquote or flufftext format (borrowing from Scras' terminology) aka italics.
But this certainly doesn't detract from the quality of the idea. Very usable in gameplay as well as just from a literary point of view. Go to Comment