This is fun story, reminds me of Moses, the Green lantern, the Blackhood, the Phantom, and others. What I really like about this is how the story justifies the pay off. If you were to write up the fairy mafia with Trent enforcers, people would not buy it, but you story of Jardan takes us there and makes us believe it accept it and see at as a natural extension of the story.
I agree could use some polish, but the goal, execution and style are fantastic. Go to Comment
Loud war-screams shatter the silence of the forest. The party, scrambling quickly over the thick forest floor, are ambushed by savage elves, dropping down from the trees and rock outcroppings. Their hair is cropped into mohawks and their arms are striped with tattoos.
They attack, and scalp unfortunate victims.