This is fun story, reminds me of Moses, the Green lantern, the Blackhood, the Phantom, and others. What I really like about this is how the story justifies the pay off. If you were to write up the fairy mafia with Trent enforcers, people would not buy it, but you story of Jardan takes us there and makes us believe it accept it and see at as a natural extension of the story.
I agree could use some polish, but the goal, execution and style are fantastic. Go to Comment
For the others of you who are voting 5's and not commenting, shame on you. If it's that good, you should leave a comment, even just "Wow".
Seriously though, this is a great item with a great story. It's almost too much story. Almost. I almost voted 4 because the sword is more like a plot device than a weapon, just something to move the story along than an item with it's own worth, but it's a really good story.
"The world has an immovable dark red sun in the centre of the sky that produces very little light. The heat is totally unbearable and the aroma of delicious cooking meat is in the air. To look around it appears as though you are surrounded by giant black mountains with no vegetation anywhere. The ground is soft and an oily liquid flows into your footprints. Travelling reveals nothing else."
Any character without some resistance to fire or heat is slowly being cooked. The ground if you haven't guessed it is the cooked meat.
I've wanted this world to be part of a dimensional hopping "chase". I thought maybe to populate this world with giant carnivorous beetles or perhaps this could be a "Nirvana" for deceased or living (but dimension travelling) fire dragons.
Perhaps I've just been grilling a little too much meat or perhaps there are some great ideas out there on how to spruce up the place. Any suggestions?
Encounter ( Other ) | November 17, 2009 |