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The Sinners
Lifeforms  (Ethereal)   (Any)
the Wanderer's comment on 2006-11-07 04:01 PM
I'm loving the concept! Can't wait to see where it goes from here. Go to Comment
The Sinners
Lifeforms  (Ethereal)   (Any)
PoisonAlchemist's comment on 2011-07-27 11:56 AM


My favorite part of the post is the little stories which follow some of the undead, which give great ideas. Each is so well described I am impressed. 


Go to Comment
Rilei'Liin
NPCs  (Major)   (Mystical)
manfred's comment on 2007-06-25 02:56 PM
Okay, her background and development sound pretty good, and make sense. The short trip to absolute power came to a deserved horrible end. The question is, what is she now... is she a mere monster of uncontrolled power, or is there a chance of saving her? And even if she is saved, by now she has a reputation of a mass murderer, and it is deserved.

How could she be saved... how could she be stopped, for that matter, without a huge loss of life? (Also, is it only human souls she can use? Could not animals be a valid target, or something else? Okay... hard to look for victims at this powerlevel.)


Not a bad idea, though it may be hard to apply in a game. Go to Comment
Rilei'Liin
NPCs  (Major)   (Mystical)
Ria Hawk's comment on 2007-06-25 06:28 PM
I like her, definitely an interesting variation of a villian. I think my favorite part is that as bad as her plight is, it's her own fault. Hubris on a grand scale. Of course, fighting her would end up being one of those "Unstoppable force" things. Go to Comment
Rilei'Liin
NPCs  (Major)   (Mystical)
EchoMirage's comment on 2007-06-25 04:40 PM
She's meant to be a villain - one who is not evil for evil's sake, but rather out of need. Not that any of the victims care!
If she managed to shed energy recently, she's your average moderately sinful moderatly flawed person who can use a little flattery for one's ego, and a little compassion too. After all, in elven terms, Rilei is just a teen.

And yes, she can let her energies drain away only through humans.
As for saving? Perhaps some artifact that can take away a mage's talent and all magical aptitude could be what might cure her, and can be used as a way to tempt her to do one's bidding. Go to Comment
Rilei'Liin
NPCs  (Major)   (Mystical)
EchoMirage's comment on 2007-06-26 08:11 AM
Well, it -does- mean that humans are better at hurling spells, but elves have finer control over magic, and can use multiple spells at once... Go to Comment
Rilei'Liin
NPCs  (Major)   (Mystical)
Cheka Man's comment on 2007-06-25 10:49 AM
Only voted Go to Comment
Rilei'Liin
NPCs  (Major)   (Mystical)
valadaar's comment on 2007-06-25 06:47 PM
I like her as well, but the by placing limits on Elves, it makes it a little hard to fit into established worlds without a bit of work. Go to Comment
Rilei'Liin
NPCs  (Major)   (Mystical)
Wulfhere's comment on 2007-06-25 02:41 PM
I like the concept of the elven mage who failed to understand her limitations and was transformed into a vortex of destruction, but I was less enthralled by her personality: I imagine that she might find a conscience, even as the pain reduces her to a level of basic survival.

I suspect that most player characters finding her would try to destroy her as soon as they understood what she really was. She might be a hard one to kill, though, as a sort of "magic elemental". Go to Comment
The Unbound Realms of Kevvar
Locations  (World)   (Plains)
Ria Hawk's comment on 2007-06-04 02:44 AM
Pretty neat, I like the descriptions of the different civilizations and the relationships between them. I think I like the Mandaans more than the Samman, although I'm not sure why. This would be a nifty planet to drop a malfunctioning ship on, particularly because it would prove... interesting if the Samman found it and claimed it for their Exalted. Go to Comment
The Unbound Realms of Kevvar
Locations  (World)   (Plains)
MoonHunter's comment on 2007-05-25 03:55 PM
An interesting piece with nice elements. It could use with some improved formatting, but few things are perfect. Go to Comment
The Unbound Realms of Kevvar
Locations  (World)   (Plains)
EchoMirage's comment on 2007-05-26 02:00 AM
You're free to teach me - for example by copy-pasting it, formatting, and PMing it to me :D Go to Comment
The Unbound Realms of Kevvar
Locations  (World)   (Plains)
EchoMirage's comment on 2007-06-09 07:20 AM
Likely, PCs will encounter the Samman more frequently... but, I will expand the post. Go to Comment
The Unbound Realms of Kevvar
Locations  (World)   (Plains)
EchoMirage's comment on 2007-06-09 07:30 AM
Updated: added a bit to the Mandaan Go to Comment
The Unbound Realms of Kevvar
Locations  (World)   (Plains)
Cheka Man's comment on 2007-05-25 12:23 PM
I like it, you worked well on it. Go to Comment
The Unbound Realms of Kevvar
Locations  (World)   (Plains)
valadaar's comment on 2007-06-05 01:08 PM
They are interesting races indeed, though as Moonhunter mentioned, formatting would help.

As to specifics, look at how other 'race' subs for suggestions on how to break up the sub.

At the very least, I would seperate the 3 races into sections and try to make sure that the same areas are covered in each. For example, there is more detail on Samman then Mandaan. Go to Comment
The Unbound Realms of Kevvar
Locations  (World)   (Plains)
Wulfhere's comment on 2007-06-07 05:13 PM
A very interesting planet! While it is well-written, headings for each section and spaces between paragraphs would be welcomed. Go to Comment
The Bloodflower Shroud
Items  (Armor)   (Villanous)
manfred's comment on 2007-04-03 03:47 PM
An interesting set of items, with a good backstory and final power. Strangely enough, I like the way the tyrant's evil was removed in the end, a nice bit about the power of the woods. Go to Comment
The Bloodflower Shroud
Items  (Armor)   (Villanous)
EchoMirage's comment on 2007-04-01 01:47 PM
Hm. No comment? Go to Comment
The Bloodflower Shroud
Items  (Armor)   (Villanous)
EchoMirage's comment on 2007-04-03 04:12 AM
Updated: Edited: spelling, form, choice of words, in cooperation with Wulfhere Go to Comment
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