Strolen\s Citadel content. 
Belsethra, the Mother of Sin
NPCs  (Campaign)   (Mystical)
Maggot's comment on 2008-08-14 03:34 AM
I will be voting for this without doubt when the judging for the quest finally commences. Go to Comment
Belsethra, the Mother of Sin
NPCs  (Campaign)   (Mystical)
EchoMirage's comment on 2008-08-13 06:49 PM
I will edit this a little in the morning. But! Enjoy! Go to Comment
Belsethra, the Mother of Sin
NPCs  (Campaign)   (Mystical)
Cheka Man's comment on 2008-08-14 09:59 AM
This deserves first place. 5/5 Go to Comment
Belsethra, the Mother of Sin
NPCs  (Campaign)   (Mystical)
Michael Jotne Slayer's comment on 2008-08-14 03:43 AM
Wow... I am stunned. This sucked me right in. My kind of submission Echo. Go to Comment
Belsethra, the Mother of Sin
NPCs  (Campaign)   (Mystical)
Murometz's comment on 2008-09-01 01:10 PM
Good writing, great villain, and as Mike said, I was sucked right into this tale! Quite atmospheric. Go to Comment
Belsethra, the Mother of Sin
NPCs  (Campaign)   (Mystical)
valadaar's comment on 2008-10-28 10:42 AM
Woah dude!

Nicely done - congrats on quest! Go to Comment
Belsethra, the Mother of Sin
NPCs  (Campaign)   (Mystical)
Ouroboros's comment on 2008-10-31 02:39 PM
Good one, Echo. Just the title "Mother of Sin" gives me shivers... Top-notch in originality and structure, I especially like the "commentary" boxes.

/David Go to Comment
The Gauran Dau
Society/ Organizations  (Political)   (Country/ State)
MoonHunter's comment on 2008-07-02 05:06 PM
To quote the great one, "Woah".

I like this one. It has useful detail and is broad in its application. It has good hooks. I love the little historical bits and their breadth.

It is a curse run amok, yet made the best of. And even if they could be cured, most of them would not be. Go to Comment
The Gauran Dau
Society/ Organizations  (Political)   (Country/ State)
Maggot's comment on 2008-07-03 07:16 AM
I'll echo Moon here and say that this is an awesome post. Just to be absolute;y sure, the physical transformation that they undergoe is determined by the unique social situations surrounding them right? Man, these are the kind of warriors that just have to be pitted against the most fearsome foes that exist in fantasy RPG. Go to Comment
The Gauran Dau
Society/ Organizations  (Political)   (Country/ State)
EchoMirage's comment on 2008-07-03 01:37 AM
Thanks a lot! I feared I was getting rusty, having posted nothing for so long :) glad to be proven wrong. Go to Comment
The Gauran Dau
Society/ Organizations  (Political)   (Country/ State)
Drackler's comment on 2008-07-09 04:37 PM
I echo once again, "Woah". These men, or beasts, if you like, are well rounded, with an interesting backstory. They have more than a touch of flavor, and are also useful. Echo, if you're rusty, then I'd like to read what you wrote at the top of your game. Go to Comment
Seheth Vianna Sai-Shahi
NPCs  (Major)   (Natural)
Strolen's comment on 2008-06-07 11:56 AM
Manfred captured some of my thoughts. A long flowing story that was very well done. The interspersed quotes broke up the reading quite well and gave me some concrete sections to capture, might be too unwieldy without them. Go to Comment
Seheth Vianna Sai-Shahi
NPCs  (Major)   (Natural)
manfred's comment on 2008-05-31 05:07 PM
(I suggest to do another check.)

In some way, she reminded me of Galadriel - not due to any similarity, but for all the contrast, and yet akin epical impact on the surroundings the 'Lady of the Forest' will have. She would prove to be an amusing benefactor, just don't forget your position, ever.

Excellent NPC, loved the writing. Go to Comment
Seheth Vianna Sai-Shahi
NPCs  (Major)   (Natural)
Scrasamax's comment on 2008-05-12 11:11 AM
I was surprised to find forests in Nesseraum, considering it is a blasted desert of mutants and drug addled cultists. That aside, there were a few spelling errors, mostly the last letter being left off of worlds, clas instead of claws, fiels instead of fields. The spacing of the paragraphs and the margins seem choppy and it could use a good polishing just from the formatting end.

Technicalities aside, I liked this submission, and the way the perspective move from bird to bird. The only real request I have is a link back to the Intelligent Race that inspired this character. Go to Comment
Seheth Vianna Sai-Shahi
NPCs  (Major)   (Natural)
EchoMirage's comment on 2008-05-11 03:53 PM
Please tell me if I have forgotten anything that should be added. Go to Comment
Seheth Vianna Sai-Shahi
NPCs  (Major)   (Natural)
EchoMirage's comment on 2008-05-13 02:22 AM
Added a link. Will check for spelling. Go to Comment
Seheth Vianna Sai-Shahi
NPCs  (Major)   (Natural)
EchoMirage's comment on 2008-05-13 06:20 AM
Updated: corrected spelling Go to Comment
Seheth Vianna Sai-Shahi
NPCs  (Major)   (Natural)
Cheka Man's comment on 2008-05-12 08:29 AM
Only voted Go to Comment
Seheth Vianna Sai-Shahi
NPCs  (Major)   (Natural)
Murometz's comment on 2008-05-12 09:59 AM
I was enraptured reading this, Echo. Wondferfully written, especially the, "if we were to fly..." stuff! She is somewhat familiar, in that vague, alien sense. A beautiflly rendered NPC! A queen's queen. Full of majesty, guarded grace, and natural power.

Her tale flows well and doesnt bog down anywhere. Cant think of any criticisms. Perhaps a bit more on interacting with Seheth from a PC perpective, but then again, this legendary tale doesnt really need it the ubiquitous plothooks.

One question. Umm, Nesseraum? I believe I have a pock-marked desert land on this site, which bears same name ;)

otherwise, awesome!

this is a situation known to relax the sphincters :) Go to Comment
Seheth Vianna Sai-Shahi
NPCs  (Major)   (Natural)
valadaar's comment on 2008-05-12 10:42 AM
All and all, a really good post - but it needs a run through a spellchecker I'm afraid. I found about a half-dozen.

At first the flow is confusing but quickly improves.

I like this character! Go to Comment
Total Comments:
847

Join Now!!




Fatal error: Call to undefined function top_menu() in /home/strolen/public_html/lockmor/application/views/citadel/vfooter.php on line 2