Strolen\s Citadel content. 
Pinker and Strotz
Society/ Organizations  (Mercantile)   (Regional)
Nocontrivedname's comment on 2009-04-08 06:27 PM
Echo,

This is a great little story, and the feed back and contributions have made it even better. I will give you a 5 on this but let me know if you don't want me to vote on your work anymore. I will understand.

thanks,
NCN Go to Comment
Pinker and Strotz
Society/ Organizations  (Mercantile)   (Regional)
slartibartfast's comment on 2009-04-06 06:01 AM
Love it! Some of the description has a bit of a "Harry Potter" flavor to it, but nevertheless a truly useful and colorful establishment to add to a campaign world. 5/5 Go to Comment
Pinker and Strotz
Society/ Organizations  (Mercantile)   (Regional)
slartibartfast's comment on 2009-04-06 06:41 AM
Ring of false health

This ring, while worn, counters the effects of the majority of mundane illnesses and afflictions; such as influenza, measles, dyptheria, scarlet fever, gout, arthritis, scurvy and a host of other ailments and diseases. However, it must be noted that the magic does not actually cure such diseases; only masks the symptoms. In fact, when the ring is removed, the negative effects are most often exacerbated for a period of time. Although the wearer will look and feel fine while wearing the ring, whatever ailments they harbor continue to fester within. Hence, the ring is actually dangerous to wear for anything other than a short period of time; nullifying the body's natural responses to diseases for more than a brief period results is folly.

There was a recent incident wherein a client with rubella wore one of these rings for two weeks straight before dropping dead in the street; during that time he had inadvertently infected nearly fourty other persons through casual contact. Upon learning of this incident, Pinker had strong reservations about selling this product; it took quite a bit of convincing from his associate to keep the product alive. Even then, the ring is now sold with both a strong warning as well as disclaimer. Go to Comment
Pinker and Strotz
Society/ Organizations  (Mercantile)   (Regional)
slartibartfast's comment on 2009-04-06 06:57 AM
Dagger of attraction:

This tiny, ornamental dagger is little more than a letter opener. When held, and the user speaks the name of some item, the dagger will orient on and point in the direction of the nearest mundane item within 20 feet that matches the description. Descriptions are limited to two words. This item is quite useful for locating items that have gone missing. Some enterprising individuals have found uses for these as divining rods or even hunting up the odd coin or jewelry that others may have dropped. The description must be fairly specific; some examples of more common directions are "gold coin", "water", "mushroom", "silver earring". Directions such as "vorpal sword", "lich's lair", "dragon's hoard" and the like just send the blade spinning. Go to Comment
Pinker and Strotz
Society/ Organizations  (Mercantile)   (Regional)
slartibartfast's comment on 2009-04-07 06:02 AM
Perfect penny pouch

A watered-down takeoff of the Bag of Holding schtick, the Perfect penny pouch is a small purse that holds coinage. It can hold a bit more than its dimensions suggest, but not much. This pouch is ideal for merchants, or anyone else who needs to constantly make change; just state how much you need, reach in the purse, and you'll pull out the exact amount requested! Note that the proper coinage must actually be present in the purse for it to work; in other words, if you reach in for two shillings, two shillings (or the equivalent coinage) need to be present in the purse. Go to Comment
Pinker and Strotz
Society/ Organizations  (Mercantile)   (Regional)
slartibartfast's comment on 2009-04-08 05:46 AM
Razorgloves

An abrasive material is sewn to the palms of these leather gloves. These are wildly popular in the kitchens of wealthier nobles and royalty. When the wearer grabs and holds a fruit, vegetable, or other food item with a skin, it is magically peeled within a matter of seconds. Potatoes, carrots, turnips, even apples all come out perfectly peeled. With a set of these gloves, the typical kitchen wench can whip through a mountain of potatoes in moments! Best of all, no skins to clean up or dispose of!

One enterprising owner also discovered another surprising use; by clapping his open palms to his cheeks, he was able to give himself a perfect shave; although his skin was severly chafed for the next several days. Go to Comment
Pinker and Strotz
Society/ Organizations  (Mercantile)   (Regional)
slartibartfast's comment on 2009-04-08 08:21 AM
Lenses of Scrying:

See through skin! See through clothes! Be the first in your dungeon to have a pair!

More of a novelty toy than anything, these cheap spectacles create the illusion of being able to see through items; particularly garments. Go to Comment
Pinker and Strotz
Society/ Organizations  (Mercantile)   (Regional)
slartibartfast's comment on 2009-04-08 10:50 AM
Cap of the cuckold:

This large-brimmed man's hat is made of grey felt. The hat turns a greenish color when or if the wearer's spouse or ladyfriend is unfaithful. Whereas a kiss would give the cap a greenish hue, an out-and-out affair would render the cap a brilliant green color.

Favored by the jealous husband type, the number of illicit affairs in town has drastically plummeted since the cap's inception. Go to Comment
Pinker and Strotz
Society/ Organizations  (Mercantile)   (Regional)
slartibartfast's comment on 2009-04-15 05:40 PM
No argument here. Did you really mean to write "explosive RUINS"? If so, I think I'll stick to prune juice... Go to Comment
The Haven of Voices
Locations  (Establishment)   (Space)
Siren no Orakio's comment on 2009-04-07 04:27 PM
There's a lot of good bits here. I'm still trying to figure out how they assemble in my mind. So for the potential, and making my mind grind, thank you. I feel, though, like I'm missing something. Go to Comment
The Haven of Voices
Locations  (Establishment)   (Space)
EchoMirage's comment on 2009-04-05 02:34 PM
BUMP? No comment? Go to Comment
The Haven of Voices
Locations  (Establishment)   (Space)
EchoMirage's comment on 2009-04-06 02:18 AM
Thanks for the comments and the generous vote of (1) - it would not be NCN if he did not make a crude sexual comment :P Go to Comment
The Haven of Voices
Locations  (Establishment)   (Space)
EchoMirage's comment on 2009-04-06 03:15 AM
So, updated with a little fresh content, plot hooks; restructured a little. Go to Comment
The Haven of Voices
Locations  (Establishment)   (Space)
EchoMirage's comment on 2009-04-07 02:16 AM
If one wants to understand, one does. I do not write dry clinical prose, for I have enough of that at work.

Also, is it wrong to state that something is clear to you when someone claims it is unintellegible? We are not the same, nor are we equal in our capacity for understanding and comprehension.

So. To whom it may concern: take your overbearing aloofness elsewhere, and stop trolling. Thanks in advance, I will be much obliged. Go to Comment
The Haven of Voices
Locations  (Establishment)   (Space)
Mourngrymn's comment on 2011-04-22 06:25 PM


It is a tad bit of a shame that this has been voted so low. On seeing the vote and the comments that pulled it down I almost didn't read it.



While sci-fi isn't a strong point for me, and there are issues with the sub which I will not go into I pulled from this what Black Jack questioned. I feel as if the Kiranti could in fact be using this station as the ulterior motive to supply the war effort with ships and false hope of alliances. There is no more profession profitable that war profiteering.



This line is what made me think this way, "offering spare capacities of their vast shipyards for the construction of warships for their friends; during all of this, they stay loyal, cute, harmless, polite."



And kudos to the Douglas Adams reference... love it. Go to Comment
The Haven of Voices
Locations  (Establishment)   (Space)
axlerowes's comment on 2009-04-05 11:23 PM
I think there is a lot of good stuff in here, but it is a little jumbled.

So maybe this is several posts, one about the wormhole, one about the Kiranti and so on. I do like the idea of linking a bunch of the sci-fi races posted on line together.

NCN please don't drag me into your posts. Go to Comment
The Haven of Voices
Locations  (Establishment)   (Space)
axlerowes's comment on 2009-04-06 12:37 PM
Echo wrote "In the vast expanse of space, no one can hear you scream; it is a place dangerous, the final proving ground, where on a grand stage the future of races is decided, often with coherent light and nuclear fire.

While those lacking sufficient might and unity to withstand an external threat often vanish from the pages of history, for some, violence is not the be-all end-all solution at hand, but a final recourse when reason has failed."

I think what you want to say here is that space is so vast (see Douglas Adams) that once warfare reached an intrastellar scale it was easy for whole races to be wiped out. That a single race can not stand alone against a whole galaxy of potential threats. I know you are also trying set a mood but the message is not coming through clearly.

Try something (I am trying to keep with your semi-biblical tone here): *On their home world the Kiranti had long ago put way the childish tools of war in favor of resolving disputes through comprimise and dicussion. As a result the Kiranti could focus the lives of their people and the resources of their planet into art and science. Once the Kiranti entered the galactic stage of intrestellar relations they first thought that Kiranti way was the exception and that most races had focused their energies on new fantastic forms of war. What they soon learned was the Kiranti way of peace was not the exception, but rather it was the survival of peaceful peoples that was the unusual.*


From there you can go into their early wars and their formation of the alliance and then Haven Station.

Again I think things you want to communicate are:

Space is violent and you can't avoid the violence

The Kiranti are not immune to the threats of space and they know it

The Kiranti prefer diplomatic or non-violent solutions to things, though they aren't opposed to violence. Go to Comment
The Haven of Voices
Locations  (Establishment)   (Space)
axlerowes's comment on 2009-04-06 12:40 PM
This much better though I completely missed what the Daumar were in your first post. Go to Comment
The Haven of Voices
Locations  (Establishment)   (Space)
axlerowes's comment on 2009-04-06 01:13 PM
I disagree I believe there is empirical nature to prose. Whether you prefer the sentence structure of D.H. Lawerence over Charles Bukowski is a matter of taste, but if we were to break down their work we would find similar levels of communication to the reader.


Though I may very well have lost the tone, and disregarding my rewrite lets take this piece apart.

"In the vastness of space no one can hear you scream"

What is being communicated here, and what does this phrasing seek to set as a tone? Does the Haven of Voices refute the above mantra by allowing a place where voices can be heard? These are things being hinted at but not expanded on, and thus lost. Go to Comment
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