I swayed back and forth as I read this submission. First and foremost, the visual that was created before my inner eye as you described her on her carriage, carried by servants and delivering the will of the emperor to the people was superb.
Her birth was another stunning visual.
Yes, she seems human in her desire, almost mundane, but I fail to see why she would love or respect the emperor after he threw her to his soldiers. It does not seem logical.
As a visual representation, and a bringer of goose bumps, she is great.
Her personal story I find less useful in a roleplaying setting. Most of all because she can attain so little, and the amusement her struggles will bring stand in stark contrast to the respect she demands as the voice of the emperor.
I found the poetry to be good, and reading it aloud demonstrates the time and effort that went into the writing. I like Farrach, and think he could be used in anything from a comic themed light hearted adventure to something dark and gritty, and heaven help someone who did a Call of Chthulu themed swords and sorcery game with Farrach being the chaotic servant of some alien horror Go to Comment
I'm of two minds about this one. Much of the description and writing style is really awesome and enjoyable. And the weapon shoots flaming ghosts at people. Which is sweet. Thats the good stuff.
On the other hand, some of your stylistic choices don't fit well with the piece, like all the pseudo-biblical "many were his factories" bits. Its a touch on the purple side, and seems out of place. It also feels goofy and ghostbusters in some places but not in others, which makes the goofiness feel strange and uncomfortable. Its like you weren't sure wether to make the thing hilarious and fun, the type of thing to make PCs snort with glee as they blast baddies with it or solemn and cool, the type of thing that makes a PC feel like a total badass.
I really like the idea though, and a "precursor technology" version is sure to find its way into an upcoming campaign. Go to Comment