The eternal lure of the assassin... what is it that it leaves everyone trembling to make one or a few?
So if I understand it correctly, we have a very greedy individuum, that is not above betraying his contacts for profit. Because this can be quite dangerous over time, he created himself a 'noble' alter-ego. To perform some kills on his own, he has another, murderous alter ego. Logically, these two were put against one another, to create even more profit, and still a better alibi for Sadis.
Overall, he seems much more of a real killer than most of those bland specimens showing up here with some regularity. Not the common emotionless and totally insane variety, there is but something unhealthy, even obsessive about him. I wouldn't bet much on his mental stability in the long turn.
A few questions:
- are there other motivations besides greed? He seems to be content with others knowing him as a broker for criminals, but anxious to not reveal his other personalities. Is there nothing else in his life than hoarding money and then wasting it?
- who made those rings? I ask this not because of their way of working, but because their creator knows of Sadis/alter egos.
- how does he fake the 'meeting' between Quickknife and Tulius?
- how long will it take until someone makes the connection? Alternatively, a man that knows this much is better disposed off anyway. Sooner or later, someone tries to kill him. Go to Comment
The concept is interesting. The execution is good, but not great. While the board has a knee jerk reaction to all assassins, this one is not so stereotypical that we will just keep saying "we hate it."
I personally would want some information about the character's personality and the personas he puts on in his various guises.
The Background story says more about what he does, than how he got that way... so some more history background would be nice... more details on how he got that way. We need to know why he does what he does, does he like it or is he doing it because it is a family obligation, is he just sick, what is going on. Even if you update the background story, you need to keep his process (the existing text) included. Go to Comment
I like the idea, the basis is reasonable and contains potential.
A few questons, however:
Why would Sadis, who appearently has no use for allies or friendships, especially those that may expose him, keep Gnome-y around?
Though we know he is grredy, does he have any characteristics that would cause him to do things?
Does Sadis have long term plans? Making a big hit? Getting married, settling down? Go to Comment