Strolen\s Citadel content. 
Changing faces
Plots  (Coincidence)   (Side-Quest)
MoonHunter's comment on 2006-04-01 12:28 PM
Okay, you are still posting the same problem submission and people are giving a great deal of gentle advice.

That hasn't worked as well as I would of hoped. Though there is still hope

You need to edit this and all your posts.

First I want you to read a few posts here and see what their scores are. In fact, check the category you want to post it, click the "highest rated" and see what those are like.

Do you see the differences between your posts and those?

Your ideas are okay. Your premises are okay. Your execution is sub par.

Could you please spend a bit more time on your posts. You need to flesh them out some more, filling in description and answering obvious questions about the items in point. I don't need colorful stories and cool turns of phrase (though it would be nice). Simple, clear, narritive, is all you need. Answer all the basic questions: Who is involved, What is happening and what is the item involved, where and when did all this take place, and why did the people involved do what they did. Answer those and your post will be higher scoring.

The average submission here takes a minimum of 30 minutes worth of work. Yours seems slapped up in about 5. That implies that you don't care about your posts or the people who read them. I am not sure this is the case with you. So please, a bit more effort and work on your posts.

You are ignoring many rules of grammar, punctuation, and capitalization. An extra space after a comma (or other punctuation) would be nice as well. It makes your post seem "childish". Spell Check, either using our spell check (or checking your posts and pasting them in) would do wonders to stop knee jerk reactions to your work. So far everyone is trying to be nice both nice and helpful... but your grace period is running out... so we are soon only going to be helpful.

If English is not your primary language, let us know and we can help.

Feel free to check the general good guidelines 1272 posted here. You will see much of the same advice people have been giving you has been sumarized here.


The scenario as you put it is more like a cliff note summary of something. There are not a great deal of details here for people to do much with. This can be a pretty good post, if you just took the time and did it right. Go to Comment
Changing faces
Plots  (Coincidence)   (Side-Quest)
MoonHunter's comment on 2006-04-03 04:40 PM
Also why would anyone, who finds out what the potion is, want to become a monster... you know universally feared by all, unable to go to town/ villages/ cities, hunted by NPC heroes and local militaries, and so on. In short, big plot hole.

Besides, if anyone in the local political structure (like the local lord) had been having problems with monsters... you would take yon hobbit and his potion caldron, take them to the Lord and earn not only his gratitude, but a large reward. Go to Comment
Changing faces
Plots  (Coincidence)   (Side-Quest)
MoonHunter's comment on 2006-04-03 04:45 PM
And now you know why I do not like Barbarian Horde Posts.

It is free reign for someone to either be slanderous, mean, idiotic, or just act like a 12 year old, because there is no accountability.

This person could of been a regular member even, who did not want to be thought of as mean or nasty. You don't know. Sure a barbarian could just create an account, post something, then abandon the account, but really... they don't put that much effort into it all.

So lets stop this issue soon please. Go to Comment
Changing faces
Plots  (Coincidence)   (Side-Quest)
Iain's comment on 2006-04-06 06:43 AM
This is quite good and I could imagine using it in some form or another - definitely an improvement on your previous posts. Go to Comment
Changing faces
Plots  (Coincidence)   (Side-Quest)
Scrasamax's comment on 2006-03-31 07:19 PM
This isnt without merit, i like the idea of a Potion of Monsterous Aspect, may write that up myself later. However there are alot of questions to be answered.

1. Who is this halfling mage? Not many of the hobbits take to the arts of brewing potions and such. Who is he, give us a little detail. Even if it is just naming him Bumfinger Hobbitsnot, a little can go a long way.

2. Why is he brewing potions in the woods? Most mages have laboratories and special places for brewing and enchanting.

3. Why are the robbers trying to steal the potion? Did Bumfinger cheat them when he paid them for spell components, or do they just want to knock him down and steal his pot of goo?

4. Why will he let the PCs have some of the potion, but not tell them what it is? If they Fang-Out, they could be rather well equipped to evicerate Bumfinger Hobbitsnot.

5. The Idea of the Halfling Brewmaster is a good one for a benefactor, but if he is brewing potions alone in the woods, what does he have to offer?

There are thousands of possibilites, but it would be great if we could have a couple to start us off. Go to Comment
Changing faces
Plots  (Coincidence)   (Side-Quest)
EchoMirage's comment on 2006-04-02 03:20 PM
Well, just because he's a halfling, comical on his own, doesn't mean he has to have a name fit for a comedy character.

Other that that... why does a halfling make a Potion of Monster Morphing? Aren't halflings usually the ones who get eaten by monsters? Go to Comment
Changing faces
Plots  (Coincidence)   (Side-Quest)
Ancient Gamer's comment on 2006-04-03 04:46 PM
The "stupidname" comment was unnecessary, I will give you that, but the rest seems purty okay with me. I may be hardened by the fact that I have seen a lot worse, but still... I think BH meant this seriously, but got a little carried away with his criticism. Go to Comment
Changing faces
Plots  (Coincidence)   (Side-Quest)
Ancient Gamer's comment on 2006-04-04 05:56 AM
Pseudo intellectual pedantic babble is a pain! It hounds roleplaying circles like a rabid dog out of Hades. You should have visited the norwegian roleplaying forums... There some prominent persons spend their time basking in the sad fact that they are leading personages in the roleplaying community of a very, very minor nation. To these quasi intellectuals, pedantic babble is a natural state and their excessively long debates on this or that utterly boring and uninteresting aspect of roleplaying theory will certainly make you want to consider suicide, or more probably homocide.

No, I am not targetting the helpful Strolenites here. I am targetting roleplaying theory pedantic babblers. People trying to be important, while in fact they are seriously and utterly boring! Go to Comment
Changing faces
Plots  (Coincidence)   (Side-Quest)
Pariah's comment on 2006-03-31 09:21 PM
Maybe he's brewing out in the woods because what he's brewing is illegal. He could be a moonshiner, making illegal alchohol, part time.

I agree that not telling them is a bad idea. I know that if I was in an abandoned piece of woods, and I was stupid enough to drink from an unknown person's cauldron, and then I sprouted wings, claws, and a really bad temper I wouldn't hold back. In fact I'd probably be taking the hobbit with me until I washed the blood/guts off of me.

Also, maybe the robbers are after the potion cuase they know what it does. And they want some of it so they can harrass poor, cuddly adventurers. Go to Comment
Changing faces
Plots  (Coincidence)   (Side-Quest)
Murometz's comment on 2006-04-01 03:09 PM
damn it! I'm starting to like the name...Grinning Bibbleflibble Go to Comment
Changing faces
Plots  (Coincidence)   (Side-Quest)
Murometz's comment on 2006-04-03 04:41 PM
you'd be suspicious? yeah, so? ever hear of pc curiousity?

the "stupidname" comment is just stupid...take a look at some 4.5 and 5 vote posts BH, and you'll see that names here at Strolens run the gamut. It would have been much nicer to simply say, You weren't crazy about the name!

Your third paragraph I have no issue with.

Fourth paragraph is once again, unnecessarily cruel!

Use your powers of perception for chrissakes! Does this look like it will ever be a masterpiece? Obviously not!...but there's no reason for these type of comments. You may think your "helping" the guy get better, but you are simply deriding him, and extinguishing his enthusiasm!

See Scrasamax' and Moon's comments above for whats known as "constructive criticism"

If you feel like Drackler isnt "learning"...then simply let it go!

Sorry, but this is getting me riled up! Leave the guy alone! He's young, he's new, and at least he's semi-trying. And he happens to be a nice guy to boot! Go to Comment
Changing faces
Plots  (Coincidence)   (Side-Quest)
Murometz's comment on 2006-04-03 05:03 PM
sorry...still riled up.

its the phrases he uses..."led by the nose" being my main pet peeve!

No matter how many paragraphs of pseudo-intellectual pedantic babble is posted on this sub, its obvious by now, that this one is what it is!

AG- your a human nature buff right? It just pisses me off, that its so much more pleasurable for some people to look down from high above and try to "educate" others and sounding needlessly pompous, while being anonymous no less!

GRRRR...ok counting to ten slowly...feeling better. I'll stop now. :P Go to Comment
Changing faces
Plots  (Coincidence)   (Side-Quest)
Drackler's comment on 2006-03-31 09:55 PM
Updated: Thanks guys Go to Comment
Changing faces
Plots  (Coincidence)   (Side-Quest)
Drackler's comment on 2006-11-17 10:07 AM
Updated: Rewrite Go to Comment
Changing faces
Plots  (Coincidence)   (Side-Quest)
Drackler's comment on 2009-03-28 09:31 PM
Updated: Rewrite: better grammar and flow over-all. More fleshed out. Go to Comment
Changing faces
Plots  (Coincidence)   (Side-Quest)
valadaar's comment on 2014-09-11 08:06 AM
As for precedence - Look no further than Dr. Jekyle and Mr. Hyde. The potion of monsterfacation is not new.

This is a decent plot for a less serious game where some of its 'plot holes' are not too big a deal.

Go to Comment
Changing faces
Plots  (Coincidence)   (Side-Quest)
Silveressa's comment on 2011-07-12 11:40 PM


A nice effort put into the rewrite, and over all much improved from its original incarnation. (Read way back and never voted on it.) A few paragraph breaks in the initial  plot description would be a nice finishing touch and make the a touch piece easier to read ;)



Other then that it's an interesting sub plot, and worth tossing into an otherwise slow overland travel session.

Go to Comment
Rod of Age Switching.
Items  (Wand/Staff/ Arcane)   (Magical)
Barbarian Horde's comment on 2006-04-01 02:49 PM
you have offended no one my man! Everyone sees potential and wants you to reach it! dont stop dont give up, just expand your thought more in future posts. The more info the better!

for some reason its not letting me vote! Go to Comment
Rod of Age Switching.
Items  (Wand/Staff/ Arcane)   (Magical)
manfred's comment on 2006-04-01 06:24 AM
The history may need more detail, but at least two things should be clearer - usage and limits.

For usage, it is likely not enough to point it - the goblins would have found out this sooner or later. Perhaps you have to concentrate on the target (even if not knowing the power of the wand). Aside, as I see it, you could accidentally use the power on an _older_ person than yourself, and switch ages, too! The wand could be then seen as a cursed item.

Also, the process of suddenly getting decades younger (or older) should be very stressing to both the target and the wand's wielder. (Maybe this is what creates the uncurable disease? Several shocks to your very life force?)


Then, there should be a limit to its powers - what if it is only usable once per month, or per year? The wand is pretty powerful, and you should not be able to create the effect too often (the wand just recharges in the mean time). The wasting disease can be made _much_ slower then, but getting faster with each use of the wand.


On the whole, I do not like items that grant immortality, but this one _merely_ gives you more time among the Living. Death cannot be refused, but it can be delayed for a time. There could be stories of a mighty wizard stealing youth from others to prolong his life, only to end horribly distorted. Fairy tales, one could say.

It is funny how we pick on this, to make it better. An imperfect post, but there is a solid idea behind it. An interesting start, Drackler!

2/5 Shows some Definite Promise (and has potential for more) Go to Comment
Rod of Age Switching.
Items  (Wand/Staff/ Arcane)   (Magical)
MoonHunter's comment on 2006-03-31 03:23 PM
Updated: edited to fix bold Go to Comment
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