Updated: Thanks guys Go to Comment

Updated: Rewrite Go to Comment

Updated: Rewrite: better grammar and flow over-all. More fleshed out. Go to Comment

A nice effort put into the rewrite, and over all much improved from its original incarnation. (Read way back and never voted on it.) A few paragraph breaks in the initial  plot description would be a nice finishing touch and make the a touch piece easier to read ;)

Other then that it's an interesting sub plot, and worth tossing into an otherwise slow overland travel session.

Go to Comment

you have offended no one my man! Everyone sees potential and wants you to reach it! dont stop dont give up, just expand your thought more in future posts. The more info the better!

for some reason its not letting me vote! Go to Comment

The history may need more detail, but at least two things should be clearer - usage and limits.

For usage, it is likely not enough to point it - the goblins would have found out this sooner or later. Perhaps you have to concentrate on the target (even if not knowing the power of the wand). Aside, as I see it, you could accidentally use the power on an _older_ person than yourself, and switch ages, too! The wand could be then seen as a cursed item.

Also, the process of suddenly getting decades younger (or older) should be very stressing to both the target and the wand's wielder. (Maybe this is what creates the uncurable disease? Several shocks to your very life force?)


Then, there should be a limit to its powers - what if it is only usable once per month, or per year? The wand is pretty powerful, and you should not be able to create the effect too often (the wand just recharges in the mean time). The wasting disease can be made _much_ slower then, but getting faster with each use of the wand.


On the whole, I do not like items that grant immortality, but this one _merely_ gives you more time among the Living. Death cannot be refused, but it can be delayed for a time. There could be stories of a mighty wizard stealing youth from others to prolong his life, only to end horribly distorted. Fairy tales, one could say.

It is funny how we pick on this, to make it better. An imperfect post, but there is a solid idea behind it. An interesting start, Drackler!

2/5 Shows some Definite Promise (and has potential for more) Go to Comment

Updated: edited to fix bold Go to Comment

MoonHunter's Comment

They are hitting upon all the basic points. I think you need to expand it, adding more description to your post. It is really too incomplete to be useful as anything other than a good idea. Go to Comment

Better rewrite. See new vote.

It is more of a plot than an item. The item is something of a McGuffin, something to motivate people... rather than being important in and of itself.

Of course, why did he dump it down the wishing well? Go to Comment

I won't vote on this until it has a proper backstory. It could be a 5/5, Hall of Honour item with a proper story behind it. Go to Comment

Still no good. If I voted I'd have to give it a 1.5. Go to Comment

*twitch, twitch*
All right, my two cents. For what they're worth.
Oh and read this too: Moonhunter's Tips

An old mage was dying and he knew it so he made his salvation, this rod. Every time he got to old, or to sick, he could simply point the rod at a younger man(or woman) and become that young once more.
Okay, I'd like to see more than just a name, even Glibberyworts would do for me. Also, how did he know he was dying, was it just he was old, or did he see the future? You don't need to include the pointing at people part here, move that down into Magical Properties.

But then came the curse, and the rod was lost in the dark forest.
I know that the curse is mentioned later, but when I first read this I thought that the curse was that the item enjoyed getting lost. Mention that a strange malady came over him, and that he was no longer able to recover from it with the staff's powers like he was before. He still got younger but continued wasting away... Or something like that.

Then one day a goblin cheiftan found it in a wishing well. It was handed down through generations of the creatures until, finally, it fell back into the hands of a human (because of a war).
Kay, so the goblin chieften Wortyfoot the Third found the item in a puddle that his tribe held to be holy/wishgranting, fine I can live with that. What did they think of it? was it kept amoung the cheiftens of the tribe? did the tribe grow stronger and take over the surronding areas because of the strength of their Elder Chief? was this last one the reason why the war happened? did some arch-duke somewhere not like the little goblin tribe growing too powerful so close to his land, so he hired some bloodthirsty adventurers to kill them all? did the person who got the sword realize it's power and start a war of his own, conquering as much land as he could and setting himself up as the Eternal Emperor?


When pointed at someone it switches the age of both people, thus an old wizened warlock could, by simply pointing, switch ages with a twenty-something fighter.
Okay, this is really straight forward, but one thing to clear up. Do you have to be able to use 'magic' to use this item or can any mo pick it up off the street say the magic word and switch age with someone?

But there is a price when the one with the rod changes ages to many times then they contract a very deadly, and irreversible disease that very slowly eats away at his constitution, by about three points every day wich includes boosts from magical items.
So they catch a bad wasting disease, but you're 'slowly' obviously implies that the victim gets somewhere in the 20+ range. While I might not have played many different systems, wouldn't that leave most people dead within a week, and on some systems I've played that leave a battle-hardened barbarian nicknamed Sherman dead in 3 days? That isn't that slow. But that's just technicalities. ;) Go to Comment

SORRY?!?!? Don't be sorry, not when someone's offering you advice. I was throwing ideas out for you, not yelling or berating you. You don't even need to take anything I say there seriously. One more piece of advice though, read through some of the posts here, some of them are better than this, some are, quite frankly worse. When you read through and see what the people want then it might be easier to get them to leave you alone about the mindless details. Go to Comment

Okay, it's better than the past rewrites, and it's a good idea. You just lack a bit in the presentation. Go to Comment

This Rod has SOOO much potential. Any chance you could further flesh it out? some more history, a little more detail, that sort of thing :)

welcome! Go to Comment

Thanks Drackler Go to Comment

That Barbarian Horde comment was me...sorry timed out. Go to Comment

Sure I just forgot some stuff. Go to Comment

Updated: I was asked to fill in some more detail and so forth. If anyone wants some more of that kind of stuff then just post. Go to Comment

Updated: More Background Go to Comment