Well, at least it doesn't glow an eldritch shade of blue. I'm asuming that Tluin is unaging, because you start in one Date system and then skip it's logical counterpart into another system entirely. Just briefly, what are the Knights of the Red Blades? Who is Eldearth?
Plot Hook: PC's gain possession of the sword, but find that the prior owner isn't quite as dead as previously thought, and he'd kill to get his sword back. Go to Comment
Alright, the knights of the Red Blade are an elite order that serve King Demitrius. They usually, but not always wield blades of flame. Actually Eldearth implies any time before the fall of Demitrius. I am going to submit Tluin's story a little later. Go to Comment
I hold my vote as well. The potential is there... What does Thenth want to do with himself, now that he's fufilled his purpose? Why hasn't he settled down yet? What does he do, what has he seen? Has the god of time just decided to leave him to his own devices, or might there come a time when he sends Thenth out to do his bidding again? Is Thenth a hero, travelling around, righting wrongs and such, or is he just an observer? Go to Comment
Punctuation check would be nice. Sentences that are near run ons linked by comma after common becomes difficult to read. Spelling seems fine.
So he is unkillable? Or unfatigable? After several YEARS of battle, you think he might of died of exhaustion. Either that or this dragon was pretty lame. And think carefully about the answer as it chagnes the entire character.
So now we have this godling who is still waundering the world after his mission is done? Someone didn't uncreate him?
So now we have an eternal tourist? He has no needs. No desires. No drives. He just might want to waunder.
So he might kick it with the adventurers because? Because what? Because the GM might need an unkillable, uber powerful NPC to make the PC's look weak or pointless?
I am not holding my vote. It needs a lot of editing before it is worth more than this. I will revise my vote then. Go to Comment
Okay, this has some potential Colonel, lets see what we can do with it. I like the concept of Thenth being a created being, or at least that is the impression that I got from the sub. Having been created by the god of time, I would expect him to have some sort of time magics.
Some questions, why did the god of time have beef with the dragon, and if so, why didn't he smite it, or age it or whatnot?
What exactly in Thenth, what are his mannerisms, what does he like, or not like?
Updated: Rehaul: Better grammar, background appearance, additional info. Added: Detail, plot hooks.
Note: I changed the name for ease of use, Thentr (Then-tir) is a lot easier to pronounce than Thenth. Go to Comment