VERY cool idea. For some reason it even feels a little Asimov-ish to me, but I don't know why. I always love those high-tech ancients, and ditto to what the others said about creating a wonderfully unique and exotic creature. Brings a welcome splash of creativity into any dull world! Go to Comment
Wow. This is awesome. It's one of those "Congratulations! You're screwed!" that repeats itself about six times. So many plot twists are possible, and there are a lot of ways that this can be used. Nifty. Go to Comment
Two paws up. A nice brief history, good characterization, and a lot of potential. Really, you can do no better for a good adventure not involved in "saving the X".
The Image helps "sell" the piece. However, it also interferes with the text some. Can we reformat the post so the image is first and the text follows. Go to Comment
Lets see, pirates, a nest of hidden treasure, a huge betrayal, a civil war, a giant albino crocodile, cowards, crabs, cannibalism, and a fight scene in a half flooded treasuse room. Everything looks to be in perfect shape here. Go to Comment
As have been said it is a classical plot and probably one that the elder GMs here have tried variants of. Jules Verne and his Captain Nemo as well as the recent Pirates of the Caribbean films do come to mind.
As for the dungeon itself: It is obvious that you put much labour into this. It is well written and very interesting at times. However I cannot escape that feeling of deja-vu. It all feels so predictable... A series of fights so the party can get treasure. A big nasty Pirate Captain and his pet Crocodiles.
Regardless: You have done well and the Citadellians obviously cherish your work. Congratulations! Go to Comment
NPCs (Minor) (Travelers)