Only suggestion is to fix up the typos, I found a few:
Under History, 3rd paragraph- deemed "too" expensive;
Under Grand Order, I was under the impression that the proposition after the word "preside" should be "over" rather than "of";
Cuttlefish Order- "breathing" is spelled w/o the h
Coral Buckle- in the 1st half of the 1st sentence, you mean to say "Considered to be", right? the current phrasing is weird
Ray- should be "likened" rather than "liked"
Beyond Boshic- "fiery" spelled as firey
Other than that, I would say it's very structured and the details are very good. Go to Comment
They are a nicely done random monster for underground adventuring (and Dwarf annoyances). You did add some touches towards the end that made them a bit more that suprise/ pounce attackers of the lower depths. So they are a mysterious monster people race of the deep.
Still, they are underground Gnollish/ Orcish bags of hitpoints with suprise options.
In my mind, the comic image is a, well, comic-like image of them. I imagine them to look narrower, with thinner limbs and not such a large face, but something generally similar. They don't actually do any mining, they just exist in mineral-rich caves. Go to Comment
Pretty good take on a destruction of a soul. Never thought I would write a statement like that!
A little curious of the motivation of choosing this armless person amongst others unless it was specifically to try and destroy pure goodness and sacrifice and turn them into what he bacame. The conversation when he was brought in didn't take it that way so had me wonder exactly why him.
I'll chalk it up to dumb luck. Overlord Pogrom wanted to send a message to the rest of the Modoals that the Vautuans were here, and thus he needed a messenger. Among the many that were separated from their families, Pogrom thought that the one-armed man would be the least likely to fight given his condition, thus unlikely to get himself killed. He ordered Shimm's family captured and killed in front of the man, if only to increase his agony. Shimm's submission was a fortunate surprise. Go to Comment
Quite entertaining to read, and I can see this being introduced as background material when the PCs happen across a gaggle of goblins running around a farming community, only to find out when they assume the worst that the goblins are there on a regular trade mission, buying loads of dung to drag back to their island.
Some adventure hooks would be a nice addition; things like shipwrecked PCs being picked up by a dung barge and being expected to do some labor for the favor, or washing ashore on Dabazook Island, or perhaps having some frantic goblins hire them to deal with something that moved into one of their primary crop caves. Or, perhaps, another goblin tribe hires the PCs to 'deal with' the Dabazooks so the other tribe can move onto the island and take up the mushroom trade. Go to Comment
I like it alot, very uh.. Flavorful. I would like to know how nourishing the mushrooms are, can you live off them (if you can afford them)? When if comes to things like mushrooms I'm always looking for alchemical uses, any at all? Can I make some up? But, i suppose not everything needs to serve a blatant purpose. This is a nice background peace. Maybe throw in some plot hooks? What would happen if the PCs washed up on Dabazook? It could also be fun to track down a stolen shipment of mushrooms, possibly end up fighting Ogres, Dwareves, Gnomes and all other sorts in a crazy race to get them back! Very good, I would say its ready for a 4.5 and HoH. Go to Comment