I can't believe I didn't vote on this. I read this when it came out a year ago, wrote up a whole adventure around it, I had pre-equal and other events associated with it. The style you took to the roleplaying wasn't/isn't really mine so I wasn't as warm to this piece as I have been to some of your others. I also agree with Echo in that it is a little too linear to be a GREAT adventure. Yet it should be an amuzing one. But anything that does what this did, inspires fan fiction, is really fantastic, this is funny. If I would suggest anything that hasn't already been said I would say play up the subversive anti-adventure feel to the whole piece, the straight line to success, the simple charactizations of the dragons, and the relatively few choices the players have make this much less of the satire it could be.
Again though just is case I am not clear, this is a really great write up in my book. -damn well formatted too, please help me with that if you ever get the tiem. I read it and wanted to make it my own. What more can you offer a gamer?
Wonderful! It draws a whole new aspect out of the dragon mentality. This is really nice and succintly written. Genius Dossta. Real Genius. 5/5
The only piece missing is that dragons like to live in scary, hard-to-reach places. I would want to wedge a challenge in Act II before the parlay. Here's what I'm thinking:
Zaulphiria the Vain lives in a fantastic and beautiful abandoned dwarven mine. The players would have to battle cave monsters and traps to parlay with her, and she would be even more upset if they were to damage her lovely home trying to reach her.
Shadrevaen the Artistic lives in a forrest that holds several elven shrines. Though most of the elves were chased out, the beauty and inspiration of nature keeps a few artistic elves around. The players would have to convince the elves to let them pass and maybe even fight a few elven spirits to parlay. Shadrevaen may be upset if the players carelessly harm the talented bardic elves she has grown to appreciate.
Tjamaladara the Mighty lives is a mighty keep that she took by force. She has raised many war dogs and a few trolls to guard her home and scare off visitors. She would think very little of someone who did not show their might by facing her guardians in fair combat. She would likely think very little of anyone who approached her by sneaking around.
This extra challenge gives the players something to think about and plan in advance. I'm sure you could think of a better lair for each dragon to match your setting and power level, but you get the idea.
A unique take on a gnomish subclass, and can make for a refreshing change in the usual wilderness encounter.
Perhaps giving them some type of musical related magic would help fill in the missing gap? Perhaps they have found a way to combine bardic magic with that of regular mages?
A song of burning passion may possibly set a target on fire, or one of a raging river make those enemies in ear shot feel as if they are drowning?
Giving them a little bit of offensive power (which they learned so they don't suffer the same fate as their ancestors) could make the odd group who looks at them as little push overs rethink their assumptions rather quickly. (Having a group of singing gnomes come to the rescue from a bandit ambush would also make for a fun encounter.
Inspired by this old thread: Dark Gnomish Evil or how to improve a hopeless race
I still feel as though these guys are missing something, but can't think of what to add at present. Please feel free to suggest improvements or add ideas.
I love the different take on gnomes, the setting, the flavor, and the language used to paint the whole picture. This is the kind of submission that keeps me coming back for more and gives me something to aspire to. Thanks for the link back to my own submission (and I wish I'd read this one before I updated it).