I like those! I would totally see this being a campaign side-track, ith the five rings separated across the kingdom, to be reunited by the plucky PCs before taking on the big bad or going up the mountain to query the trhunder god.
Good work Dossta!
I really like the overall idea and concept, reminicent of the old Spiderman villian, Electro. However, the thing I'm having a hard time wrapping my mind around is how one 'wears' this five link chain. It seems awkward at best. It reminds me of full body shackles on an inmate, with perhaps less flexibility. I've read it a few times now and I still get stuck on this. Am I missing something?
Reminds me of a tale by... Gaiman, methinks. Anyways, exceedingly well written. The sole objection is that the Judge's punishments are a little literal.
You might want to edit out a few mistakes, such as the second plot hook lacking "hero" in the first line (A great ... has been etc.)
A well-deserved 5, I'd say.
A well written, nicely described hell.
It is highly logical, almost a bureaucratic, hell. I can envision you creating special locations within this hell, and I can also imagine several plotslines which involve this location.
All in all, a fine Hell.
A most excellent submission - my only concern is the same as Echo's. As time has gone on, my own vision of justice has leaned a little against eye-for-eye punishments. Frankly, I think that is too easy. For a torturer to simply need to be tortured in turn ... does not completly work for me. The focus on physical punishments also seems to strong.
That said, tops marks from me!
Well written and organized. Perfect balancing of a life against it's deeds. Very emotional and rational. I thoroughly enjoyed reading it. However, applying it in a gaming session, seems to escape me. The lasting consequences of any choice from the plot hooks seems trivial. What value is there in helping a soul to move on? What are the consequences of interfereing in some other way? Just a few thoughts on the matter.