I was actually hoping it could be judged as a complete submission right now. The word count is already pretty high up there, and making someone slog through 30 of these in one go seemed a bit sadistic :P Go to Comment
You flatter me, sir. I would very much like to get published one day, but haven't figured out what I want to write yet -- gaming stuff or novels/stories. Comments like this are very encouraging, so thank you for taking the time to read my work. :) Go to Comment
I want to take a moment to thank everyone for honoring this as a Golden Submission. When I first joined the site, it was my dream to write something worthy of that honor. I was really touched when I returned to find that you all had made it so.
This should be a cartography guild sub, not the dumb strolenatis! Its got the whole flavor of cartography- maps, Here There Be Dragon signs, and maps. Anyway, great 10. One question- for the Labyrinth, why couldn't somehow just fly over the maze? The simplest thing would be to put a ceiling on it, but you said that people could see the glint of the gold, which means there's a hole in the ceiling. You could have the dragon kill the "cheaters," but for me that doesn't match the dragon's- someone who spent the time to make a giant maze- character and personality. Go to Comment
I too like the way it reproduces.
But something that ravages an already ravaged wasteland really does not carry the same threat of destruction as something that comes out to disrupt the hubris of peace and prosperity. The real story would start when the hellebabies make land fall in Sweden or some other country that sat out the war. I like the idea, but this doesn't seem to be the whole story. Go to Comment
The babies never get to be much bigger than a normal elephant. I said as much, but it's kinda buried in there. Controlling them is still an art, however -- you've got to find some way to control that tail once it sprouts. I imagine that some communities just cut the tail off entirely, while others find a way to bind it. Very few have mastered the art of riding the a hellephant into actual combat, but its still pretty early in the timeline. Go to Comment
Nice work. Do the babies eventually grow into the huge version? And if they do, how do the communities that raised them deal with the full grown monstrosity? Do they kill it off before it grows too powerful? All in all, pretty good. Go to Comment