I wanted to leave this as separate since one is an NPC and one is a life-form. However, I agree that this needs more detail and adding in some of the autobiographical stuff about the Six is a great idea. Will modify soon! Go to Comment
Update: Taking Scras's advice to heart here. I would definitely love to expand this sub with details about the original Six monsters created by Maire (see Mother Monster), but am drawing a bit of a blank. I would like to keep the Gaelic-sounding naming scheme for them, but am otherwise throwing this one open to the community. Looking for some ideas to work with. Go to Comment
Update: Still working on this one, but I didn't want to lose my changes. Throwing this one back out there with a partial edit. I think that the first part needs a cleanup as well, to better explain the nuts and bolts of how a Monster works. Is there anything that was really confusing to you all on your first read-through? Go to Comment
She has heard of some compound or book or something that can cure (or perhaps regenerate her soul slightly) her of zombiism. She wants the PCs to go get it.
Anyways, I like them. Adds good details to Mother Monster.
And now for advice...
I think what you have is good. All I'd say you'd need is a plot hook for iseabal, to continue the pattern. I have that one idea, which I just gave, so if you want, go use it. You should probably add a couple more details, though. Go to Comment
The origins of the first zombie and the creation of the Art of Necromancy. Not a small feat!
The only thing I wanted a bit more of was her background of medicine and magic and how she used it through the years as she visited all these different places/people to fix herself. I had a need to see her taking that eclectic knowledge as her own and experimenting with it or something. Then when the big reveal comes and she brings her husband back, it isn't such a stretch that she could figure it out. Took me a second read to remind me that she did have a magic/medical background from family for it to make more sense, but that still leaves me hanging a bit.
I love the narration, I like the story and I like the idea. As a write up for NPC though, you give us history, but you don't give us her. We don't have a sense for her style or current state. Go to Comment
Castoria was once a thriving and prosperous nation, a rich trade center for the surrounding lands. This all changed when, on one fateful night nearly a century ago, the Mist of Eternity rolled in and surrounded the land, obscuring more of the outside world as days and nights passed.
By the time the Mist blocked out the sun, a new light shone during what was assumed to be daytime: The Starpoint Spire, a mysterious place atop Castoria's highest peak in the northern-central region. Some say that there is some sort of building atop the mountain shining the dim "sunlight" onto the land, but it is only ever too bright or too dark to fully make out any structure, not to mention the mountain's immense height.
Not a month after the Spire's light lit up, the stars fell. Flaming rocks and debris from far-flung edges of space plummeted downward onto the eastern region of Castoria. Once the shower subsided, a strange energy from within the fallen stars transformed the eastern lands in what are now known as The Voidwastes, a barren gray land littered with craters and strange alien creatures (these can vary, but I had Pathfinder's Akatas in mind).
To the south, strange mechanism of eldritch origin are again at work after aeons of rest in the Ruins of Kchuthngnl, an ancient city of non-human creation that is estimated by scholars to be no less that five millennia old.
To the west, the once peaceful and serene forest, now known as The Plagued Woods, has been experiencing corruptions of the wildlife and humanoids living there. Some humans have reported creatures that appear not unlike a halfling, except that they can open their mouths to massive proportions to swallow creatures the size of an ogre.
When adventurers and citizens alike try to make an escape from Castoria, they are never seen again, and it is utterly unknown whether they found hopeful sanctuary or agonizing death withing the Mist's depths.
What is unknown to all residents of Castoria is that all of these events occurred because of the actions of a secret but powerful cult loyal to the Elder Gods who call the space between the planes their abhorrent home. The cult still lives on, larger than ever, and their plan is for the alien horrors to incubate and thrive within the dome of mist that now envelops Castoria, so that when the Elder Gods return as the cult's prophecy foretells, they will have an army of blasphemous creation at their disposal that they will use to make war with and enslave the denizens of the Material Plane.