Ok let me first begin by saying creating new versions of a race are difficult. having done it myself and nearly pulled my hair out I know its frustrating.
The introduction leads me to believe that this post will be talking about a community instead of a singular type of elf. Which is fine, but I was expecting more on the dwarven, gnomish, and half-ogres.
You speak of short elves with a berzerking quality when in battle yet describe them as, about five feet tall, naturally skinny, with fine features, such as high cheekbones, long limbs, and delicate looking fingers. They are proportioned as a tall man might be, with long legs and arms, and short torsos. Their faces have a sallow appearance, with overly large eyes, and somewhat sunken features. But the Red Elves have super dense bone structures, and are incredibly hardy. They lack endurance, so most of their fighting is done in quick, insane bursts.
This confuses me, they are skinny yet dense sallow looking yet fine featured, five feet tall but proportioned like a tall man with long arms and legs. I get the distinct image of them being more porportioned like an ape with short squat bodies and long arms.
The specialize in heavy two handed weapons yet are only five feet tall. Rather difficult for someone that size. I am 5'9" tall and I have practiced with a two handed claymore and let me tell you, it is made for someone much taller than I am.
Ok. Now for what I would recommend. Explain more about why they have decided to live with a group of dwarves, gnomes, and half-ogres and how the inner bred. Explain the society more. What is their culture like now. Do they have one of their own or is it inter mingled with the other races?
Religion. Do they have any? Or is it again focused more on their patrons?
A good idea is to find any race write up by Captain Penguin. I took some pointers from him and his work is great to read. I wil lgive a 3/5 right now but will be more than happy to change it should it be altered. Don't give up... just give it more work than two paragraphs. Go to Comment
Make 'im look damn cool. Oh, and the mace sings, kinda. When it moves though the air, it makes a cool 'Whrrr!' noise. That scary type noise. I got the idea from the Natural History Museum's IMAX presentation of STOMP, where the artist guy is whiffling around that wood on a string to make that errie sound. Go to Comment
If you take too much or it is taken to often it has a nasty tendency to turn the entire skin a deep purple bruised color.
If mixed incorrectly it may increase everything and work as normal, but slowly it brings you back down to below where you were before you drink it. A couple days later? a week? depends on the brew. Go to Comment
Why exactly is it called "Doom" tea? Is the strength bonus signifigant, a clerk lifting a cart load of stone and tossing it away kind of bonus? or just a little bit?
How long does it last? Is it addictive, or at least more so than regular tea? Any after effects? Does it react with anything else in an unusual manner, say downing some doom tea and a shark steak provides an immediate laxitive?
I feel the brew would benefit from a bit more extensive explanation.
I also keep having the question: why dooms-tea? ... no the farmer was not called dooms, was he?
If it is called doomstea for another reason, what are the after effects? or the drawbacks?
I do not care that the + in STR is unqualified. It will be differnte in diffenent game systems and with different DM's.
Personaly I would also put a max to the number of CON points being restored... Go to Comment
It's a good post, with some strong parts and some weak parts. THe obvious question is why the title? Any time people are left with that question, you know you should have answered the question. Other than that it's a normal and good post I would say. Go to Comment
The Water-Rift is a massive crater in the center of the desert, in the center of which sits a large, unfathomable machine that produces water. Thusly, it is a veritable paradise in the center of the burning desert, and a unique culture exists there.