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I like it, but something just doesn't seem to sit well with me. He definitely seems a being, creature, entity or what have you, of evil and death. The concept of reducing what we know to be a being of pure light and goodness (some settings anyway) into its antithesis is awesome and you have done that. I just cant put my finger on it. Withholding my vote right now until I read it a few more times.

Current vote would be a 3/5 but wanting it to be higher. Go to Comment

Only voted Go to Comment

Honestly, I'm not entirely sure if I played up the undead aspect of his nature sufficiently. But then, it's rather hard to take a creature known for resurrection and make it undead. Thoughts are appreciated. Go to Comment

I guess I've got some refining to do. Go to Comment

Simply the concept of twisting the phoenix/bennu bird into its dark-winged opposite is a magnificent one! A true cosmic horror!

I'm slightly less crazy about its name. It seems modern-ish, for such a legendary being..."murder"? For my tastes, even "Deathblaze" for example, seems more epic, dunno. I feel this avian darkness deserves a more epic name.

Would love to see a bit more on the creature too. What else does it do? Where does it go, why does it go there, some character interaction of some sort. Some further legends or anecdotal horror.

Otherwise, great! Go to Comment

Wow. That definitely hit a chord with me -- so glad this came back up on the front page so I could find it. Like Strolen, I'm moved to near tears by this powerful submission. I do wonder if Murderblaze acts as his own free agent, or if he is beholden/sworn to anyone else. That would be a rather interesting dynamic.

I want to put this guy into a game just so that my players could undo the damage done to him! I want to see him whole again. Go to Comment

I agree. The power of the Necromatic Cult grows strong, and is pulling the realm under its dark shadow. A paladin's guild would be a good place to start! Go to Comment

Need some sweet plot seeds or more examples to make this truly useful. I see the direction but I am lost in the dark. Go to Comment

I've never verified this, but I would be interested if someone was willing to try: If you blindfold a person and close their nose where they cannot smell, you cannot tell the difference between biting into an apple and biting into an onion. There is/was a gameshow on SyFy that was based on this entire premise, Blackout. Contestants were escorted into completely blacked out room and had to identify things using only certain other senses, such as touch only, or scent only.

it seems you've been eviscerated and eaten by a grue. Go to Comment

"The ____ is a sinister, lurking presence in the dark places of the earth. Its favorite diet is adventurers, but its insatiable appetite is tempered by its fear of light. No ____ has ever been seen by the light of day, and few have survived its fearsome jaws to tell the tale." Go to Comment

I do not understand your comment. Go to Comment

A good reminder of how darkness can be used. Go to Comment

I went back the link these guys came from, and I hate to admit this, I have no idea what these guys are. There isn't a description of what they look like or how they move. Can they be harmed by mundane weapons? Magic? Are they like shoggoths, floating shadow blobs? The shadow warped semblances of animals? I am left with many questions. Go to Comment

A torch is a bit like a sword towards one of these. Go to Comment

Any feedback is good feedback. I've modified the original scroll entry to be a bit more fleshed out. Go to Comment

I've been hoping to see more on The Bringers of Midnight. Go to Comment

A horrible place to end up.You should add it to the Prison codex. 5/5

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At first reading the beginning i was thinking this to be similar to one of my subs an underground prison as well. But on reading further I found this to be an entirely near complex adventure/ campaign that can be used as Muro stated. It is very feasible to have this dropped into an ongoing game for a respite from a current plot or to create an entirely different flow altogether. 

I will have to follow the freetext for more information regarding this. It is near a complete sub as could be, although more information about the city would help me put it jus right. Kudos sir. Great work. 

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Oh. I love this. It speaks of a system and a system can be beneficial to play and run. I loved it. 

Hellgate is a child that may never grow to its full potential. 

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