The Eclipse certainly makes this submission - the city as it was was a nice high-magic city, but not overly remarkable. The transformation into the war zone gives it a desperate air and like Gossamer said, having the PCs there when all hell breaks loose would make the greatest impact.
Well done! This would make a very interesting mini-campaign. Go to Comment
First of all, let me just say that the proof reading really shows, me likey! The first description of the city put me in mind of Gloomwrought, Sunnydale (Buffy the vampire slayer) and Bright Falls (Alan Wake), but then it didn't deliver, with a very standardized city. But then, BAM! You turn the whole thing into a huge mega dungeon. If the PCs were already present when the eclipse happens, that would probably be easiest, as I dunno what else would prompt them to enter such a place afterwards.
I immidiately thought that Jorge was a woman, otherwise why would he/she hide his identity like that, using a marital aide to impress the girls, no doubt. Very thought provoking and inspiring. I don't normally go for horror, but if I did, I would use this. A great submission, full score! Go to Comment
I like it, it just feels like it needs something more in terms of a consequence than just dealing with the spirit who rests within the reliquary, especially if you manage to strike a bargain with him. Go to Comment
An object suitable to enhance undead which PC's face, rather than have them own it. It could be a useful item to confound PC's who think they know how things work, by having the undead they are facing suddenly work tactically! Go to Comment
I am voting a little higher than I normally would.
My issue with it is it seems rushed. Just not enough information, for me anyway, that puts the truth behind the war between the two. Or how this reliquary was made. If he was capable of making one than couldn't he effectively trap all of the enemies he defeated and by placing them in these boxes, have a (fantasy version of a computer or Internet) plethora of information at his disposal.
I would be that not only does the box have some control or influence over nearby undead, that perhaps it can eventually subvert weak willed possessors of the box thereby taking them over. Or nearly suggesting ideas.
Now, to the reason I enjoyed it. It's not a unique idea but it executes well. The purpose is there for you to immediately get and understand, although more info would be my vote. It's almost like a mild version of Pandora's box. Go to Comment
For a long-term plot, the spirit inside the box would want to get _out_. For a powerful necromancer, not having a physical body once he does so many not be that big a deal - many undead are non-corporeal. The trick would be how to get out without being drawn off to the afterlife and probably consignment to Hell or its equivalent.
Perhaps a plot could be an infernal being looking to collect the 'overdue' soul of the necromancer. Maybe even recruiting the PCs to this end.
As for why it is not more common - I'd say it could in fact be more common as making magic items by binding spirits within is a perfectly reasonable way to go.
I like this, both because the core idea is pretty cool to me and because the full idea is conveyed in such a short sub. There could be a lot more fluff text (and I would certainly enjoy reading that) but the idea as presented is complete enough to use and adapt. 4/5 Go to Comment
Very nice. Other than a little more back-story on the Necromancer and the Lover, and perhaps a bit more visual detail on the violin itself it would be a very nice piece to drop into the right campaign.