Advice Requested now show up on the main page, so people can actually notice them. Especially if someone comments on them.

If you didn't want people to comment, it needs to go into In Work Hidden or Public Go to Comment

Makes me tihnk of the Ancient Race codex, and this beastie would fit very nice into it. The tone is pretty good, a short Lovecraftian psuedo-Dune ice beast. I like it. Go to Comment

I'm guessing it was not supposed to be released, Moon. Hence, we find it in 'Advice Requested'.

I like the spark here very much. I get a Remorhaz meets Dune Worm vibe. 'Technological Organs' is a nice touch. This does seem like just a brainstorm at the moment, thouh a good one. I'll try to think of a few suggestions, Cap, if that is what you're after.

I have a question. How has this sub garnered 129 xp already? Bug? Go to Comment

Ah, I see you edited your original comment, Moon. Go to Comment

Cool! (Pun intended) :)

Nicely executed! Go to Comment

The last sentence multiplied the growing feeling of discomfort by at least a dozen. Great wording, Captain.


The conflict in their mental capabilities may be caused by their unnatural descent. They are created as spies, trained to pick up words of treason among the populace, there is no place for more. I think that sophisticated jokes and irony would escape their notice; but those, who escape their attention tend to become reckless, only to fall to one of the many desperate informants. Go to Comment

This is the scuttling horde of creatures that are nothing but a die fest (lots of rolling, little danger) on you way to other monsters.

Their intelligence seems confusing to me, as the submission contradicts itself in a couple of places (at least to my reading)

The description does add excellent color to the critters. Flavor text to be used to gross out your PCs. Go to Comment

Could a tiny one be befriended and made into a pet? Go to Comment

Reminds of the facehuggers in Aliens, so that is a good thing!

Nicely done indeed! Go to Comment

Creepy, creepy, creepy! I Iike it, a very humble yet savage creature. Go to Comment

Actually, it seems to me that they also keep the population count down... also a way to fight crime. Go to Comment

Well, I dunno'. I guess the real conflict is, would you rather be murdered and raped by human beings or by hideous hand-headed zombies? Go to Comment

Well, the psychic Hounds of Hosok could probably create a fear effect, but in the case of the general White Children, the human populace of Hosok's domain is so cowed by centuries of domination by a horrific alien dictator that they are simply instinctively fearful of the White Children. Go to Comment

These are certainly abnormal and loathsome to picture; I dare say that many are those who avoid Hosok's domain on the power of these monstrosities alone. Their weaknesses are intriguing as well - if someone were so inclined, he could outfit an army of peasant slingers with small bullets of salt from a salt flat or the like and bring these things down to wonderful effect.

Is the fear effect an actual ability, or is it the terror of what happens to those who've defied Hosok in the past that keeps the people under his sway cowed by the Children?

...Also, for some reason (probably evidence I should go sleep), when I saw the title, my mind read 'Chicken' instead of 'Children'. Strange mental images ensued.

Good work, Cap'n! Go to Comment

Finally broke your writers block? And these oozed out?

The write up gets a little difficult to follow in spots. The beautiful (but its ugly... well, maybe well executed is better) imagery gets a touch repetative here and there.

Still a nice bit that you have to back install into your world. Go to Comment

What a man does for pay is of little significance. What he is, as a sensitive instrument responsive to the world's beauty, is everything!

H. P. Lovecraft


Excellently done sir, my hat is off to you. I dont know why I overlooked this submission but I am glad that I did read this. The imagry is perfect, and the minions are sublime in their horror. Go to Comment

Thanks guys for bringing this up - the imagery is simply excellent, I'd put it up there with Guillermo del Torro.

It evokes the feeling as if the human corpses it wears are but a flowerpot to the monstrous thing blossoming out of it..

Makes one wish for a salt-shaker on a ten-foot pole...

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At least these things keep the crime rate low. Go to Comment

Argh, once again one of those subs that I have read many times over and enjoyed each time but somehow failed to vote and comment on. A really good CP piece, from the name down. 

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Id like to thank MJS for commenting on this so I came up in recently commented otherwise I may never have found this. Its, dark, creepy, with a twist of what the hell went wrong here that these people just gave in to it?

Perfect place for a stop over for unsuspecting adventurers running afoul one of these and not understanding what they did wrong by saying the guys in the cowled robes smell funny.

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