Well, this dungeon rocks. A lot. Its got that great mix of travel (hinted at in the begining), problem solving, and really fun combat that marks an excellent night of rping. The plot twist at the end also provides a ton of potential grist for more adventures. After all, what group of players can't find some use for a temple-full of pyschoticly devoted pleasure cultists?
-.5 for not citing the heedra as being from Hayao Miyazaki's "Nausicaa". Go to Comment
A likable fellow by all accounts, excellently described and characterized. The man is just made to be an unwilling sage.
A few uses would be nice to have, though. Say, what if someone starts to blackmail an important figure about a few nasty things he did during the war, and the person wants to find out the source... traces leading to a document on that war, where the historian off-handedly describes the violence, desecrating of temples etc. that were commonplace? Go to Comment
I found this in an old RP. I had forgotten about it, but I really love the character, and I feel (perhaps erroneously) that I did a very deft job of characterizing Aher. I dunno', I just like it. Go to Comment
Exactly. It's a true roleplaying struggle for the heroes- they can't just chop or magic their way through it. And I think it adds a very real, human dimension to him that he isn't insane or catatonic, he's just deeply, deeply depressed. Go to Comment
Before Aher's eyes there is blood, endless blood, a limitless sea of blood which rises from the gap in the mountains in a crimson tidal wave, containing the massed bodies of all the dead he has ever seen and killed, a storm of dead flesh, rising over him. And atop it, on a raft made from broken lances lashed together, there is Death, a dessicated monk in a robe made of living moths, who smiles at Aher.
You did a very good job at describing him in the beginning, short but very effective! The flow and writing in this NPC submission is very nice. There are no unnatural sentences and they are all connected in a nice way.
I like his history, full of vivid images of the horrible acts of a young mercenary. The dream with Death is nice also, it reminds me of The Shining. Also a nice touch with the night closing around him.
I would like to see some more though, a few options of how to use him. A few plot hooks maybe. He would have vast knowlegde of history and much knowlegde about fighting and war. These are things the PC's could be interested in. Getting him to learn them anything aout war seems like a hard task though. Does he not have a single relative, family or friend left from before he became a mercinary? Any of those could help him find meaning again? Maybe something the PC's could help with, try to track down his nephew/friend/sister to remind him that there are good things in life still.
Anyways I like him, I like the style of writing, he can easily be modified to fit any fantasy setting and I like the name.
A fantastic NPC. Well-written and all that, obviously, but more so, he feels very "real". I can only repeat what others have said. The description and his reccuring nightmare takes him over the top. I'm stealing him lock, stock, and smoking barrel! Beautifully rendered.
I'm checking the box next to "Dont need any help in knowing exactly how to use him"
I too initially thought it could do with some, how to use, ideas. But then I realised what would be required of someone to gather all this information, the histories collected and written. All though he seems like he is on his own and interacts little nowadays he must of at some stage known all sorts of people. Like any historian in order to uncover the facts one must dig into peoples thoughts, travel vast distances, collect scrolls and stories.
So for our PC's, here we have a great wealth of information but his mental state keeps us from finding things out. Like a magical lock on a treasure chest, that in its self is a hook, save Aher, find the treasure. Go to Comment
You have still the gift, I was suitably disgusted.
Improving Xaggarng is a tough one... since that room is called Trick or Setback, maybe he could persuade the heroes to take the wrong path to treasure; or push them out by surprise, and barricade a door or something... could be better, but at least it's unusual for a mummy. *shrugs*
On route from Geli to Nekrass the characters meet a peasant boy on the road. He's wandering in the direction from which they've just come. If this seems a little bit incongruous, they may wish to ask him a few questions. He's perfectly willing to talk: he's called Lamish and he's run away because he knows he is the heir to the throne of Geli and his parents didn't believe him. How far is his home? About five weeks walk from here. How much has he eaten? Nothing. Has he drunk? Only from the filthy roadside ditches. In short, it's a wonder he is still alive. And yet he seems perfectly healthy.
Is he a thief, waiting for travellers to trick? Is he lying because there's something more sinister under all of this? Is he telling the truth? And anyway, what should the characters do? Do you take him to Geli? Do you try to find his parents? Or leave him to make his own way?