Not bad, I enjoyed reading it, but the pace was rushed, when some sections of the story would have benefited from the pace falling to a crawl, showing the mage's waiting game before fighting and killing the demon. Go to Comment
This was the most commented on story submitted for the second ePub. Everyone agreed it was a solid story but lacking in emotional development, detail and an ending deserving of all the build up. I think you got a lot of good feedback on this one. Go to Comment
Ok just so some of you don't get the wrong idea, I'm not deragened , don't own a gun and have been talking to Scras on FB about this and he told me he loves it. I'm afraid this might have been a little too good at what I was trying to do. Go to Comment
In nature, for instance, a rhino has flies and ticks etc, that live on the hide and live off the blood. Rhino will visit and lie in ponds where turtles will clean the underwater portion of the ticks and a species of bird will clean the the top of ticks and other parasites. What if where the characters camp there were a species of animals that lived off wounds of the creatures. PCs camp. Anybody with wounds on there body are soon covered with small rodent - insect - shadows - whatever. Would immediately see it as a threat I would imagine. But perhaps one of the wounded didn't wake up when it happened, and when they did finally wake they were completely healed. Perhaps somebody was warned of something attacking them but they were able to notice that the wound was actually getting smaller instead of larger. Or maybe they successfully beat the creatures off them and don't notice an improvement, marking this place never to rest at ever again....later learn that villagers send their wounded there but they keep it a guarded secret because they don't want all the attention or traffic and what comes with such a special gift. Could turn into something more too if characters decide to start blabbing about it.