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Queen Nekcrola the 47th (a Tale of Mysantia)
NPCs  (Campaign)   (Political)
Aramax's comment on 2014-10-28 07:38 AM
Your comment means a lot to me! Go to Comment
Queen Nekcrola the 47th (a Tale of Mysantia)
NPCs  (Campaign)   (Political)
Aramax's comment on 2014-10-28 07:53 AM
not familiar w/ Exalted at all.But if true they plagiarized me! LOL! Go to Comment
Queen Nekcrola the 47th (a Tale of Mysantia)
NPCs  (Campaign)   (Political)
Aramax's comment on 2014-10-28 09:44 AM
Really happy with comments, guys! I was a little worried about this one as I thought it might be TOO old school, but she has a soft spot in my heart and I miss her! She has always felt ALIVE to me and it's nice that she is still appreciated! Go to Comment
Queen Nekcrola the 47th (a Tale of Mysantia)
NPCs  (Campaign)   (Political)
Moonlake's comment on 2014-10-28 02:21 AM
The content of this sub is solid, the character and her surroundings have been fleshed out properly. But I find this sub a bit hard to read as it seems quite ‘jumbled’ in terms of how content flows from one aspect of this Queen from the next. Besides the HOOK section, there’s no headings and this sub would probably read better with more of them.

One final point is that I’m not sure whether you’ve already tidied up this sub or just expanded a character sheet into words (at one point I thought you had done the later from your first comment but now I’m not sure, anyway, I hope you do not find it offensive for I mean none). I think that might be why no one had ventured to comment but then it could be just inopportune timing that you’ve posted this sub in. Also, the fact that you wrote 3 comments yourself could be why as well. On the Citadel, getting 3 comments is already very good catch.
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Queen Nekcrola the 47th (a Tale of Mysantia)
NPCs  (Campaign)   (Political)
Longspeak's comment on 2014-10-28 10:29 PM
Aramax gets to be the second test, by virtue of this sub being right below the first. :P

Art - This is a quest were trite and overdone are virtues, and on that this merits a full point. :)
Craft - The writing is solid, but the formatting could be a bit clearer, with sections for important aspects. Half Point.
Style - It's very true to the style in play, but it's also a tad tangled. Half Point.
Substance - If I was running an old school D&D game, this would be my Villain. Full Point.
Extra Mile - Goddammit, I HATE old school. But you kept me reading all the way to the end anyway. Full point.

4.0/5.0 Go to Comment
Yotian Soldier a Tale of Mysantia
Items  (Other)   (Combat)
Aramax's comment on 2014-10-25 05:38 AM
Wow, quite the complement. Maybe what I need to do is post as collaboration needed, and let some one else flesh out my (as you say) 'awesome idea' . Go to Comment
Yotian Soldier a Tale of Mysantia
Items  (Other)   (Combat)
Aramax's comment on 2014-10-25 11:37 AM
It's a plan!!!!!!
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Yotian Soldier a Tale of Mysantia
Items  (Other)   (Combat)
MysticMoon's comment on 2014-10-25 01:07 AM

I like the idea of warriors so dedicated that they are willing to completely commit themselves to their cause in this way. Imagine the skill a thousand year old warrior would have (assuming they are able to continue to learn after death). Also imagine how cold and soulless they would have become, being unable to enjoy the regular aspects of life.

With some simple modifications, this idea could be used in many different ways, including some sci-fi (the mind is uploaded into an onboard AI, for example).

Go to Comment
Yotian Soldier a Tale of Mysantia
Items  (Other)   (Combat)
MysticMoon's comment on 2014-10-25 10:57 AM
If I might make a suggestion... The next time you write something, walk away from it for a day before posting. Then reread it and see if you can't find some areas that could use more detail. Or even ask one of us to read it over and suggest something. After you've expanded it, at least a little, then post it. Go to Comment
Yotian Soldier a Tale of Mysantia
Items  (Other)   (Combat)
PoisonAlchemist's comment on 2014-10-25 01:10 AM
This sub is short, too short for the degree of potential it contains. You are one of the best with quickly coming up with awesome ideas, if only I could get you to flesh them out!

--What happens to politics in a region when the common folk are ruled by undying machines? Are the leaders able to adapt to the changing times or is it too much?
--What sort of psychological toll does this take on the person, to die again and again?
--If the pendant is destroyed is the soul destroyed too? Meaning if you choose this route to immortality you give up on an afterlife.
--What happens when the world's Orichalium has been mined? Can these pendants be-reforged as blanks for different souls?
--You say they retain their skill, but do they retain their knowledge? What if spending time in the pendant gradually eroded your memories and left you with nothing but your combative reflexes?

Plot-hooks:
--As the precursor to war a nation makes a move for control of the world's Orichalium mines.
--A warrior in one of these pendants belonged to an ancient and fallen nation. Who will he fight for now? Make sure it's your side! Go to Comment
Yotian Soldier a Tale of Mysantia
Items  (Other)   (Combat)
sammo_4gun's comment on 2014-10-24 11:10 AM
If you have the money, more powerful Yotian suits can be made. For example, a person could make any creature and build it, then die and live on in that form. I would love seeing some crazed giant robot beast destoying everything. Go to Comment
Aramax
Lifeforms  (Unique)   (Cyberspace)
Murometz's comment on 2014-10-22 05:16 PM
Would make a good forum post in the Extraneous Voices of Picayune section. Don't ask me, I like you, still don't know who or what Picayune is. Go to Comment
Mien Endsieg
Items  (Books and Scrolls)   (Campaign Defining)
Murometz's comment on 2014-10-14 11:28 AM
There's a decent idea here, hiding within the manic presentation. A madman's post-mortem ramblings captured in a tome by his deranged followers via the dark arts. Paraguay and Mossad are nice touches that give this some verisimilitude.

Some bits are sloppy though, and the "101 white males" feels contrived and rushed.

Anyhoo, this would make for a interesting little modern-day (or post WWII-era) rp. Go to Comment
Mien Endsieg
Items  (Books and Scrolls)   (Campaign Defining)
axlerowes's comment on 2014-10-14 12:53 PM


Does the book measure the height and angle of the reader's forehead to help determine racial purity of its readers? And why only white males...women loved Hitler.



Subplot...the neo-nazi camp comes across a book written by the ghostly hand of Chamberlin. They pass this book onto the PCs and suddenly our heros find themselves make all kinds of compromises.

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Mien Endsieg
Items  (Books and Scrolls)   (Campaign Defining)
axlerowes's comment on 2014-10-14 06:53 PM
If you are not looking for validation than it doesn't matter what people think of your subs.You fit in fine as far as I concerned, and I do pity you and I do validate you. I thought my Chamberlin comment was funny, and low be you in my estimation for not giving me even a snicker or disgusted eye roll. People commented on this in generally positive light. Shame on you for trying to shame us by asserting that we are shunning or excluding if you had any of emotion you assert that you are having you would have gone away quietly and not left this -I just don't belong note-. Furthermore, I want to call your hand I will make a better case that I don't belong here and you do. Let me know if you are playing! Go to Comment
Mien Endsieg
Items  (Books and Scrolls)   (Campaign Defining)
Mien Endsieg
Items  (Books and Scrolls)   (Campaign Defining)
Aramax's comment on 2014-10-14 11:39 AM
'manic' Wow shows in my writing.......... Go to Comment
Mien Endsieg
Items  (Books and Scrolls)   (Campaign Defining)
Aramax's comment on 2014-10-14 02:07 PM
Ok, I get it despite my best intentions,I really don't fit in around here. It's not a comment about you or me, we look at gaming from dif perspectives. You guys are very happy w/ the way you are doing things here. Round peg/square hole. I actually think I know the reason but don't feel like sharing (want to keep this in a positive note) I'm sorry about causing peeps problems(That is never, ever my goal). I'm sorry that Longspeak felt the need to challenge my sub. I'm not angry AT ALL and i appreciate peeps suggestions and thanx for the few good votes on things I got, I've just come to the realization that, with our differences, I don't fit in and I'm not going to.Again , you have a different take on things, not better or worse. I'm not stomping my feet saying I'll never come back here, I'm done w/ submissions. I will pop in once in a while and drop an idea in, but I have no desire to be part of something where the fit isn't right. Please, not looking for validation or pity. More so long than Good Bye.See ya around! Go to Comment
Mien Endsieg
Items  (Books and Scrolls)   (Campaign Defining)
MysticMoon's comment on 2014-10-14 09:53 PM
I don't really follow, Aramax. I haven't seen enough of you to become aware of any square pegs. I certainly had my moments early on of feeling like I didn't fit in / was ignored (nothing like the feeling of commenting all over the place while watching my own subs fall off the page without a single vote) / was misunderstood, but that eventually passed. It can be kind of a crazy place here and we're all a pretty wacky bunch, but it's really worth it to stick around and figure it all out.

My advice to you is: relax, really listen to the comments, and try again. Go to Comment
Mien Endsieg
Items  (Books and Scrolls)   (Campaign Defining)
MysticMoon's comment on 2014-10-14 09:55 PM
Completely agree with Muro's comments. Not going to vote, because I feel it could use some fleshing out, but I really dig the core idea. Go to Comment
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