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Mytrian, The Wise
NPCs  (Campaign)   (Mystical)
Barbarian Horde's comment on 2005-01-26 08:33 PM
There's so many typos in here I can't figure out what you're trying to say. "He discover some dark influences in the queen, and suspects the existence of a possible brother." What??! Go to Comment
Mytrian, The Wise
NPCs  (Campaign)   (Mystical)
CaptainPenguin's comment on 2003-07-31 06:00 PM
Good, but what is the War of Titans? Go to Comment
Mytrian, The Wise
NPCs  (Campaign)   (Mystical)
Alek's comment on 2003-08-01 11:49 AM
jejeje... If only I have more time... Im working in a big plot, of a few thousand years long, and im trying to get all the pieces together.
The War of Titans is a confrontation between humans and dragons. With time, these dragoons began to be called Titans by the survivors. Today nobody know about dragons, and nobody has seen any Titan. They are history, legend.
And the idea is that Dragons do not forget... Go to Comment
Mytrian, The Wise
NPCs  (Campaign)   (Mystical)
Pieh's comment on 2010-12-18 03:41 PM


I'm not sure there are any redeeming qualities in this one. I think the last line hits it on the head. It's almost like I was handed an overly generic, staple, cookie-cutter, bland, stereotypical wizard, then given some totally useless information. When given the information I looked up and said "Whut?" then I was told: Oh... Just act like Gandalf.




Titans are cool. I don't see the word 'Apogee' nearly as often as I would like to, so kudos to that. It feels like someone threw Lord of the Rings into a blender with some extremely watered down Greek mythos, then poured this interesting piece into a sippy cup. Meh.

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Mytrian, The Wise
NPCs  (Campaign)   (Mystical)
Scrasamax's comment on 2012-09-01 09:52 AM
Just be like Gandalf. Go to Comment
Mytrian, The Wise
NPCs  (Campaign)   (Mystical)
Michael Jotne Slayer's comment on 2010-12-18 09:27 AM
"About interpretation, just be like Gandalf." :D



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Mytrian, The Wise
NPCs  (Campaign)   (Mystical)
valadaar's comment on 2010-12-18 05:18 PM


Excellent review Pieh.  Dead on. 



 



 



 

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Mytrian, The Wise
NPCs  (Campaign)   (Mystical)
Silveressa's comment on 2010-12-21 04:48 PM


As others said, it could use some more fleshing out and reworded in places, perhaps reading the post out loud to yourself will help you catch the grammar errors such as "You know the true behind all the conspiracies,"



In general I've found characters are more appealing and memorable when they don't act "just like" any popular character from a novel or movie. Rather then suggest role playing the character like an already established one (in this case Gandalf) try to provide enough depth and  detail in your presentation they will be able to act like the character they just read about instead of imitating a different one.


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Lady Celia, Tempest Queen
NPCs  (Major)   (Political)
Barbarian Horde's comment on 2005-01-27 07:42 PM
I should have read this immediately following 'Mytrian, The Wise'. It makes much more sense now! It's a cool idea, and it really shows some potential. Go to Comment
Lady Celia, Tempest Queen
NPCs  (Major)   (Political)
CaptainPenguin's comment on 2003-07-31 05:59 PM
Needs more detail.
What is the "Great Tempest"? Why is she cruel and evil? Go to Comment
Lady Celia, Tempest Queen
NPCs  (Major)   (Political)
MoonHunter's comment on 2005-01-28 09:25 AM
Add the link to Mytrian the wise and perhaps add a few more details so people will not be so confused.

Try to anticipate the questions your reader might have and either answer them or gently nudge them in the right direction so they can make their own decision. Go to Comment
Lady Celia, Tempest Queen
NPCs  (Major)   (Political)
Alek's comment on 2003-08-01 11:39 AM
She is manipulated by a "Dark Force". The details about this "Dark Force" I leave it to the ST.
And the "Great Tempest" is just a title for the first priest of Hydros. Go to Comment
The Conspiracy
Plots  (Event)   (Single-Storyline)
Barbarian Horde's comment on 2003-07-18 03:50 AM
This could make a great epic adventure if detailed properly for the PCs. I'd prefer this as a single adventure yet it could be big enough for a campaign. Here's what got into my mind:

Maybe the PC's could get mixed into this by finding a dead messenger who carried a secret message about the rogue cities planning an attack to the capital, or the enemy king sending attack orders to his generals etc. Then PC's might bring the message to warn the queen who would probably reward and/or hire them. Maybe they'd even fall in love to her. After that they might be contacted by the Wizard for help the kingdom against the conspiracy. After mixing in too deep they might find out too late that the Queen is evil, and try to escape, or even kidnap or kill the queen to protect the citizens.

You could also bring a 'black knight' to this; a Prince who wants to marry her, not knowing that she's evil, a knight she wants to marry against his will (and send the PCs out to persuade him), or a twin sister who wants the crown and contacts the PCs to help her out.

Alek, can you publish the larger design somewhere, like on your website? Go to Comment
The Conspiracy
Plots  (Event)   (Single-Storyline)
Barbarian Horde's comment on 2005-01-27 07:46 PM
Lol, you've got 3 hands! :P I like where this plot is going, and I think I even like that it's skeletal. The easier to slip into an existing campaign, my pretty. Good job kid. Go to Comment
The Conspiracy
Plots  (Event)   (Single-Storyline)
ephemeralstability's comment on 2003-06-27 12:42 PM
I like it a lot, but as hopfrog16 says, it is a little skeletal. Where do the PCs fit in? Maybe one is aiding the wizard-investigator, maybe one is a castle bard who secretly adores the queen, maybe one is an envoy from the free cities...

And who is the old wizard: what business is it of his if the King is dead? Is he the Mage Royal?

What is the order of Ancient Dragons? Why does their cleric want civil war?

What is the queen's view on the enemy demands?

Just a few more ideas I would consider before using this plot.

ephe! Go to Comment
The Conspiracy
Plots  (Event)   (Single-Storyline)
CaptainPenguin's comment on 2003-06-27 01:51 PM
It lacks detail.
Don't worry, though. Just keep at it. Go to Comment
The Conspiracy
Plots  (Event)   (Single-Storyline)
CaptainPenguin's comment on 2003-07-17 10:55 PM
We don't care how long it is, as long as it isn't several pages or something. Go to Comment
The Conspiracy
Plots  (Event)   (Single-Storyline)
MoonHunter's comment on 2003-07-23 01:21 AM
It sounds more like a movie/ campaign synopsis than an adventure. Go to Comment
The Conspiracy
Plots  (Event)   (Single-Storyline)
hopfrog16's comment on 2003-06-27 11:31 AM
Hmmm... This isn't exactly a bad idea, but it needs alot more explaining. What is the queen doing that's so horrible? What did the wizard find on how the king was killed? Were there any clues? Here are just a few questions one might ask when they read this. Aside from that, its not that bad at all. Go to Comment
The Conspiracy
Plots  (Event)   (Single-Storyline)
Alek's comment on 2003-07-17 02:46 PM
I leave the details to the storytellers. I have a greater design for this plot, but it was extremly large to submmit.
And sorry for my bad english... Go to Comment
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