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Engine Prototype #4 (Catastroph)
Items  (Other)   (Villanous)
Siren no Orakio's comment on 2006-05-19 10:43 PM
Sounds like it could be an interesting sort of thing. I do like how it's perfect for killing magicians, but that it sounds like one accurate catapult or arbalest could give it real problems. A good balance. Go to Comment
Engine Prototype #4 (Catastroph)
Items  (Other)   (Villanous)
Alec_Shadowkin's comment on 2006-05-20 07:43 AM
Yeah, in my post, those are definately brackets around the parts that are "linked". If anyone knows how to get the brackets to actually appear in there instead of them being translated by the posting script, let me know. Go to Comment
Engine Prototype #4 (Catastroph)
Items  (Other)   (Villanous)
Alec_Shadowkin's comment on 2006-05-21 08:36 PM
Well, honestly, the d6 reference was just to give an idea of the chance of a given outcome. Its about as generic as I can get :) Go to Comment
Engine Prototype #4 (Catastroph)
Items  (Other)   (Villanous)
Scrasamax's comment on 2006-05-20 09:01 AM
Only voted Go to Comment
Engine Prototype #4 (Catastroph)
Items  (Other)   (Villanous)
Cheka Man's comment on 2006-05-19 09:04 PM
Truely a dangerous thing to face. 5/5 Go to Comment
Engine Prototype #4 (Catastroph)
Items  (Other)   (Villanous)
Mourngrymn's comment on 2006-05-19 11:59 PM
I'm iffy on this, however the journal is what did it for me. Unfortunately the sections that turned into links didn't work (not sure if they were intended to) but I was hoping to see some thread of conversation about the origin of this submission. POssible conversations of ideas passed around, hence why it is illegible or lost to translation. Overall though a decent submission, I'm just not to keen on super monsterous fantasy based mechanical juggernaughts. But its really cool and the jounral I think is what did it for me... big thuimbs up. Go to Comment
Engine Prototype #4 (Catastroph)
Items  (Other)   (Villanous)
Mourngrymn's comment on 2006-05-20 10:22 AM
take them out and just use the itallics code to make it different than the actual text. Go to Comment
Engine Prototype #4 (Catastroph)
Items  (Other)   (Villanous)
Dream's comment on 2006-05-21 08:27 PM
The journal entries are outstanding. The idea is very good. Alex is always on top of his game. As a suggestion, I would edit the references to the D6 die to make it more generic to other game systems, but I don't suppose any intelligent GM would fail to adapt. Go to Comment
Engine Prototype #4 (Catastroph)
Items  (Other)   (Villanous)
Murometz's comment on 2006-05-19 11:30 PM
Enter the Magebane Juggernaut!

Bizarre, and by that I mean its very good! Enjoyed the "report", "production notes", and "journal" Go to Comment
Engine Prototype #4 (Catastroph)
Items  (Other)   (Villanous)
valadaar's comment on 2013-05-06 10:29 PM
Only voted Go to Comment
BRS Gwynith
NPCs  (Campaign)   (Travelers)
Adel's comment on 2005-01-12 08:08 AM
I love it the anthropomorphism is portrayed very well. The ships logs is very good! Go to Comment
BRS Gwynith
NPCs  (Campaign)   (Travelers)
Iain's comment on 2005-01-12 09:45 AM
Indeed, an excellent submission. A good and enjoyable backstory and very logically coherent as to why it exists, why the Byrlothians can't just make more, etc. 5/5

As a further development, once the Dragon Mages realise what has happened and why, they might try experimenting and see if they can create their own (they should be capable of it given that it was a side effect of the Dragon Mage magic that caused it, even though it might be a very difficult process trying to figure out how to do it controllably). This would put even more pressure on the Byrlothians to bring the war to a rapid conclusion. Go to Comment
BRS Gwynith
NPCs  (Campaign)   (Travelers)
EchoMirage's comment on 2005-01-12 09:44 AM
I'd velcome if she and her personality and quirks were portayed a little more in-depth, but good none-the-less. Go to Comment
BRS Gwynith
NPCs  (Campaign)   (Travelers)
Cheka Man's comment on 2005-01-12 08:53 AM
Very good.I really like her-a living ship. :) 5/5 Go to Comment
BRS Gwynith
NPCs  (Campaign)   (Travelers)
ScorpionJinx's comment on 2005-01-11 09:40 PM
A sentient boat. Very interesting. And a good idea. That and including ship's logs, that is pretty cool.

4/5 :) Go to Comment
BRS Gwynith
NPCs  (Campaign)   (Travelers)
valadaar's comment on 2006-11-06 01:39 PM
A really good sub - I'd love to see more built on it. Go to Comment
Alastor Greyson
NPCs  (Minor)   (Knowledge/Lore)
CaptainPenguin's comment on 2004-10-14 07:41 PM
A pretty basic 2/5. It's a pretty regular "oh-no-talented-noble-son-lost-his-birthright" story. *shrugs*

How it could be improved-
He could be made more special. There must be some other reason that he's unique? Secret magic power? Maybe he is actually the king's son, but was raised secretly in the noble's home?

Otherwise...

2/5. Go to Comment
Alastor Greyson
NPCs  (Minor)   (Knowledge/Lore)
Scrasamax's comment on 2004-10-14 03:53 PM
Not a bad effort, but aside from the ebony flute, there is not much different from the standard prodigal son. I do think it seems odd that Alastor's father gave him exactly what he wanted, release from royal duty but with the addition of being disowned from the family.

Perhaps if his father had offered to take the idea under consideration, he could later, in a public ceremony (So the disgrace born by Alastor would be greater) be officially disowned, and exiled from the family holdings. He would have to live in the shadow of his own percieved or otherwise failure, plus a great number of people would know. Disowning an heir-apparent would be an event of some signifigance. The current post makes the father seem on one hand benevolent and wise with the giving of the flute and the inscription, and then he becomes the impulsive tyrant, raising a blade against his own blood.

Now, if the father had waited a few days and then had held a faux-funeral, complete with musical accompanyment, emphasising perhaps flute players as a final gift for his son who was now dead to him, now that would be wicked.

Otherwise, a hearty and solid 3/5 Go to Comment
Alastor Greyson
NPCs  (Minor)   (Knowledge/Lore)
Zylithan's comment on 2005-11-17 11:45 PM
I like the details you put in to the post and the ebony flute of course is the strength of this post. If you addressed some of the things mentioned by the previous two commentors I could see raising the grade, but for now it's a 3 to me :-) Go to Comment
James Farvre, The Author
NPCs  (Minor)   (Knowledge/Lore)
Barbarian Horde's comment on 2005-08-20 12:30 PM
Steven King pulled something similar to this in his dark tower series. Good job though on the story of him. Go to Comment
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