I am voting a 1 because I think this one is serious, and it is just that bad.
Agony, could you please stop and read a few of our posts, trying to read 4 and 5 star posts. That will give you an idea on what we are looking for.
First, Opus Dei organization has no thaumaturgical element, so no spell casting there. Opus Dei would openly oppose the bringing of demons, so not a real good source of summoning.
Next: Arrkrash is a big Demon from another dimension.
Aren't they all from another dimension?
Next: His demon axe is Zhorrsj, it has demon runes on it.
Which do? It is just an Axe from Hell? Does it tap dance or play the accordian?
Next: The wizard couldnt controll him so he killed him. Since then he has been haunting the earth looking for other wizards to kill.
As a history goes, it is like saying The Entire Star War Series (all six) was. A desert kid grows up with great power, is corrupted by it, and eventually, with the help of his son, gets better. Do you see how much that is missing? Explain more please.
Next: He is suited to be the boss in the end of an campaign or something.
Why? The way you described him, he is really nothing more than a speed bump in the way of a couple adventurers. If he is THAT DANGEROUS, you need to tell us WHY!!!!
You know... you could write it up as a joke... but do it in a serious manner... then watch it become hugely successful. It would be just like Mutant Teenage Ninja Turtles was in the 80s, a parody that became hugely successful.
Hmmm. Could explain the current Republican Administration and Congress.
More seriously, A patriotic demon could push people from mere patriotism to nationalism. Nationalism, when taken far enough, leads to oppression (of minorities and foreigners), warfare, and less enlightened forms of government internally (oppression of citizens for the good of the country, fascism/ cronyism/ corrupt governments under the nationalist flags, etc).
NOTE: The reason this thread has not been deleted is we don't have any current bad examples left. So until we have a new replacement, this one stay. Go to Comment
Other than the red/white/blue - patriotic demon idea... most of these ideas are just taunting.
Because you all post up crap on these posts... they come up under the most popular searches (between posts and views). So when people come to the site, looking for new things, click on most popular... they get THIS! (or things just like it).
And this is such a great first impression. Go to Comment
CP: The more you post of it, the longer it stays. You people keep posting and bagging on bad posts and they stay around forever. If you hate it, vote a 1 and LEAVE IT ALONE! Go to Comment
1 point for being more than twenty words long.
1 point for not being blatantly plagiarized.
-1 point for gratuitous and eXCessive spelling and caPiTaLization errors.
-1 point for being a vague and uninteresting demon.
-1 point for Opus Dei (Work of God) employing demon summoning wizards. Shame, for shame!
maybe if there was a pit of bad characters there might not be so many low quality posts like this. We ascribe to the Gold Standard, and refer people to look at the better ranked posts. Maybe it might be easier to point some submitters to the pit and show them what the bad posts look like.
This is a bad post but look how many responces it has generated. Go to Comment
I think if you want more details on Arrkash, you will have to make them up yourself, I think it has been more than a little while since Agony was here. Go to Comment
This submission has been in the citadel for 2 years at the time of this update. Since it's inception it has served a purpose and is very well known among Citadel membership. With apologies to Agony, this submission stands as the low water mark. It has every example of being a bad submission, which have already been beaten to death in the commentary above.
This submission has been challenged a number of times (by the same member, I might add) and each time it has emerged again as the prime example of a bad submission. For lack of better language this submission will remain in the Citadel until Agony or Strolen himself decide to remove it and not a moment less.
With Agony returned to the site I hope to see him return to this submission and possibly make some of the changes that were suggested above, but I am fine with it the way it is now. Arrkrash can now be considered 'under my protection' Go to Comment
We should make a "Baby Strolen's" for people who write on the level of first elementary school grade. There, they could post away all those Glass Heims and Arrkrashes and Phantoms. Go to Comment
So, when do we start, gentlemen? I've wanted to write up Count Drizzt Neorine van der Kataanen anyway... this'd just give me a reason.
Just don't forget to include vampires and unicorns. Go to Comment
It would be an ... interesting ... nation, where leaders are aided by 'angels' on their way to 'patriotism' - actually, demons who seem to do the biddingof the rulers and the people as a wholepush them towards intolerance, aggression, oppression, encourage them to report the errors of their neighbors, and the like, paving their way to damnation and causing untold suffering in the process. Go to Comment
As said, there was a sequence of horrid posts back then, and we all went through the "newbie appears, posts horrid stuff, gets insulted, leaves" maybe a dozen or so times? Two dozen? Within two months?
So, when Agony came along, doing exactly that, we were kinda drained of nice and constructive, and could just poke fun.
Also: Count Drizzt Neorine van der Kataanen remains still unwritten! Go to Comment
I know how to become rich through roleplaying! I'm going to write the game "Drows and Demons" featuring assassin monks, the orphanage adventuring school and big demons from other dimensions.
NPCs (Extras) (Mystical)
Agony, could you please stop and read a few of our posts, trying to read 4 and 5 star posts. That will give you an idea on what we are looking for.
First, Opus Dei organization has no thaumaturgical element, so no spell casting there. Opus Dei would openly oppose the bringing of demons, so not a real good source of summoning.
Next: Arrkrash is a big Demon from another dimension.
Aren't they all from another dimension?
Next: His demon axe is Zhorrsj, it has demon runes on it.
Which do? It is just an Axe from Hell? Does it tap dance or play the accordian?
Next: The wizard couldnt controll him so he killed him. Since then he has been haunting the earth looking for other wizards to kill.
As a history goes, it is like saying The Entire Star War Series (all six) was. A desert kid grows up with great power, is corrupted by it, and eventually, with the help of his son, gets better. Do you see how much that is missing? Explain more please.
Next: He is suited to be the boss in the end of an campaign or something.
Why? The way you described him, he is really nothing more than a speed bump in the way of a couple adventurers. If he is THAT DANGEROUS, you need to tell us WHY!!!!
End Rant Go to Comment