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Everlasting Chalk
Items  (Tools)   (Non-Magical)
Phaidros's comment on 2011-12-09 05:00 PM
Simply put: genius!
I was reading "everlasting chalk, usefully but bo.... Wait what, Troll Kidney Stone?!?"
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Everlasting Chalk
Items  (Tools)   (Non-Magical)
Chaosmark's comment on 2011-12-09 02:39 PM


That is terribly disgusting. And extremely creative. +1 for the combination of creative and useful.


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Everlasting Chalk
Items  (Tools)   (Non-Magical)
Murometz's comment on 2012-02-18 11:48 PM


Clever! I want one. Quirky and useful. I like the detail about the trolls not giving a hoot :)


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Everlasting Chalk
Items  (Tools)   (Non-Magical)
valadaar's comment on 2011-12-20 06:11 PM


Truly odd. It is a unique idea, though I don't thnk there is a lot of call for it :)



 


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Everlasting Chalk
Items  (Tools)   (Non-Magical)
dark_dragon's comment on 2011-12-10 09:46 AM


Cute and disgusting at the same time. I like it. 



* d_d wonders what other bit of disgusting monster anatomy could have practical use...


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Everlasting Chalk
Items  (Tools)   (Non-Magical)
mimic12455's comment on 2011-12-20 12:42 PM


Everlasting Chalk, or Kidney Stone, made from the regenerative properties of a Troll.



I like this idea. Makes sense and humourously creative. Good job.


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Everlasting Chalk
Items  (Tools)   (Non-Magical)
Forganthus's comment on 2012-06-15 11:08 PM
Sometimes its the little details that make a setting. I've been thinking about this for a while now, and I can honestly say that I don't think I could think of a cooler kind of chalk. Go to Comment
Everlasting Chalk
Items  (Tools)   (Non-Magical)
Dossta's comment on 2011-12-12 03:24 PM


Brilliant!  I would love to see a quest where a party of newbies is convinced to become partners in this sort of "business venture."  Their sponsor gives them a sample of the *very expensive* chalk, talks up the potential market value of the product, and strokes their egos a little.  He then has them sign a contract as harvesters, and gives them vague directions to the nearest source.  When they arrive, their contact in the area explains exactly what they are supposed to do. . . and reminds them of the severance agreement in the contract they signed if they refuse to go through with collecting these things.


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The Vortex Well
Locations  (Other)   (Other)
Scrasamax's comment on 2011-08-17 05:58 PM
I share Echo's sentiment. This is very descriptive and well written, but how do you get there? How can you, like Virgil in Dante's Inferno escape again to warn others of their grime fate? Go to Comment
The Vortex Well
Locations  (Other)   (Other)
EchoMirage's comment on 2011-08-17 02:35 PM


This set-up leaves little room for adventuring, though.


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The Vortex Well
Locations  (Other)   (Other)
Cheka Man's comment on 2011-08-16 12:35 PM


Definatly a sailor Hell.


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The Vortex Well
Locations  (Other)   (Other)
Chaosmark's comment on 2011-08-17 07:20 PM


I think this shows promise, but as others have already said, it seems a bit short for true usability. I like the demonic shadow, and would love to see more detail for it as well (after all, it's inevitable that it be encountered when visiting realm).

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The Vortex Well
Locations  (Other)   (Other)
Dossta's comment on 2011-08-20 05:16 PM


The noise in this place must be incredible.  I can imagine that the longing for silence, for stillness, would eventually come to equal the longing for dry land.  Still, it is incomplete as Echo first pointed out.  A little more development would help.


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The Vortex Well
Locations  (Other)   (Other)
MysticMoon's comment on 2011-08-24 08:39 PM


A tantalizing glimpse, but I would also like more detail. Perhaps an intro where the soul dies for the first time to answer the question of how he landed there. Maybe even a plot hook on how to get the adventurers in and out of such a hell, either looking to save a lost comrade or on a mission for information from the deceased (who would quite likely demand release as payment.)



I'm witholding my vote for now.


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The Vortex Well
Locations  (Other)   (Other)
PoisonAlchemist's comment on 2011-08-14 01:53 PM


This is a really well-written description of a hell of perpetual drowning. It doesn't answer the questions of how one would get in and out of such a place or why you would want to go there but it really evokes the feeling of drowning. Who does this hell exist for? Sailors?


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The Perils of Envy
Plots  (Coincidence)   (Mini-Campaign)
Agar's comment on 2011-07-15 12:44 AM


It is railroady, and I apologise for that. Plots are not my forte, item creation is. That I'm even getting a passing 3/5 is already better than I'd hoped and better than I remember most of my plots doing. Thank you for your comments, hopefully I can work it into something better in the future.


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The Perils of Envy
Plots  (Coincidence)   (Mini-Campaign)
Agar's comment on 2011-07-16 12:38 AM
Thank you.

I had considered some issues with the boy leaving, like being in debt for his fathers burial or other trumped up fees a corrupt wild west sorta town might drop on him, or being basically an indentured servant to the town store like debt bondage ( http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Debt_bondage ) but didn't have it fleshed out enough to get it in there coherently.

I do like your ideas about figuring out other ways to discover Malenetti's treachery, and it would help the pacing of the adventure instead of being " Fetch the McGuffin! Fight! Fight! Twist! " , it could Fetch, fight, Conflict Resolution (maybe fight), twist. It's a good idea, and I will devote some thought to it. Go to Comment
The Perils of Envy
Plots  (Coincidence)   (Mini-Campaign)
Cheka Man's comment on 2011-07-13 09:33 PM


It's....ok. 3/5


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The Perils of Envy
Plots  (Coincidence)   (Mini-Campaign)
Drackler's comment on 2011-07-20 11:56 PM


 I like it, though I do agree with others about the plot. It's not bad, but I think more of it would do better. Perhaps it was just the way the post was written, but it felt like the beginning and end lasted forever, while the middle flew by too fast to notice.



 Perhaps something in the beginning that required the players to dig up the information, instead of getting it from the Seer (being so close to death might blind him more than his disease). Others have pointed out some good ideas.



 However, I did like it immensely. My attention was kept by the whole thing and it made sense. It would benefit from being fleshed out, maybe given more complexity, but it's good and useful how it is.


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The Perils of Envy
Plots  (Coincidence)   (Mini-Campaign)
valadaar's comment on 2011-07-15 06:34 PM


This is better then okay - its linear, but then again a lot of published adventures are.



 



Nice job Agar!


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