I think this is a brilliant item - a wonderful take on a portable extradimensional space.
An elaboration on the enchanted furniture would be a sentiant construct or more, that were responsible for maintaining order. These would be named and have real personalities, and get annoyed when the staff was signifcantly disrupted.
I would reduce the impact of using it as a walking stick as otherwise the constructs would go batty :)
Now, if the mage happend to take a tumble from a horse, or had to use it in combat, he would fret about having to deal with his annoyed servants.
Brilliant! I would love to see a quest where a party of newbies is convinced to become partners in this sort of "business venture." Their sponsor gives them a sample of the *very expensive* chalk, talks up the potential market value of the product, and strokes their egos a little. He then has them sign a contract as harvesters, and gives them vague directions to the nearest source. When they arrive, their contact in the area explains exactly what they are supposed to do. . . and reminds them of the severance agreement in the contract they signed if they refuse to go through with collecting these things.
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I think this shows promise, but as others have already said, it seems a bit short for true usability. I like the demonic shadow, and would love to see more detail for it as well (after all, it's inevitable that it be encountered when visiting realm).
The noise in this place must be incredible. I can imagine that the longing for silence, for stillness, would eventually come to equal the longing for dry land. Still, it is incomplete as Echo first pointed out. A little more development would help.
A tantalizing glimpse, but I would also like more detail. Perhaps an intro where the soul dies for the first time to answer the question of how he landed there. Maybe even a plot hook on how to get the adventurers in and out of such a hell, either looking to save a lost comrade or on a mission for information from the deceased (who would quite likely demand release as payment.)
I'm witholding my vote for now.
This is a really well-written description of a hell of perpetual drowning. It doesn't answer the questions of how one would get in and out of such a place or why you would want to go there but it really evokes the feeling of drowning. Who does this hell exist for? Sailors?
It is railroady, and I apologise for that. Plots are not my forte, item creation is. That I'm even getting a passing 3/5 is already better than I'd hoped and better than I remember most of my plots doing. Thank you for your comments, hopefully I can work it into something better in the future.