Strolen\s Citadel content. 
The Braclet of Salinin
Items  (Jewelry)   (Magical)
valadaar's comment on 2013-05-15 07:25 PM
Only voted Go to Comment
Doomslayer
Items  (Melee Weapons)   (Cursed)
valadaar's comment on 2007-01-18 10:33 AM
Very much a mystical sword of mythic power :)

Puts me in mind of the One Ring. Go to Comment
The Seeing Stones of Asthmir
Items  (Materials)   (Magical)
valadaar's comment on 2007-01-24 12:54 PM
I think the idea is really cool, but the execution is disappointing insufficent. Go to Comment
Xavier Kinslayer
NPCs  (Major)   (Combative)
valadaar's comment on 2009-06-09 07:03 PM
Needs a lot of work to be good. Go to Comment
Jahenel Mordred
NPCs  (Extras)   (Combative)
valadaar's comment on 2009-06-09 06:42 PM
Its a start, but needs a lot of work. Take a look at other subs to get the idea.

Spellcheck, proofread, finish your sentences and try to avoid all the cliches. Go to Comment
Kite Shield of Caladin
Items  (Armor)   (Combat)
valadaar's comment on 2006-10-24 01:35 PM
Yep.
Short.
Needs work. Go to Comment
Caladin
Locations  (Forest/ Jungle)   (Regional)
valadaar's comment on 2013-06-16 10:10 PM
Interesting details. Some spelling errors - fencing. They seem a little too perfect at everything they do though. Go to Comment
Mermaid's Toe Ring
Items  (Jewelry)   (Magical)
valadaar's comment on 2013-04-05 08:56 PM
A decent background for a ring of water breathing.

The npc is more striking then the ring. Go to Comment
Saint Duncan
NPCs  (Mythic/ Historical)   (Religious)
valadaar's comment on 2007-01-12 08:01 AM
Nicely done! Go to Comment
Haven Fortress
Locations  (Fortification)   (Water)
valadaar's comment on 2014-02-05 08:41 AM
Fantasy can do away with some logical problems, perhaps if this was how the place was spoken of by the unknowing and ignorant, maybe.

The reality would have been far, far different than this.
Go to Comment
Izkandar
NPCs  (Scenario Based)   (Mystical)
valadaar's comment on 2013-05-11 09:44 PM
Only voted Go to Comment
Dangerous Truth
Plots  (Discovery)   (Single-Storyline)
valadaar's comment on 2007-01-04 10:44 AM
Only voted Go to Comment
Chimeric Ring
Items  (Jewelry)   (Magical)
valadaar's comment on 2006-09-22 10:20 AM
An excellent item, if dangerous.

Great Job! Go to Comment
Prince Graeme
NPCs  (Major)   (Political)
valadaar's comment on 2013-04-23 02:37 PM
Not a bad NPC, though "Despite the murder of his father, Graeme is not an evil person, merely a pragmatic one." does not fly with me.

He does however fit into my worldview of nobles being closer to Game of Thrones then King Arthur. "Good Kings" merely have good PR folks :)





Go to Comment
Sentinel The Ranger
NPCs  (Minor)   (Natural)
valadaar's comment on 2013-05-14 10:10 PM
Only voted Go to Comment
Fontis Stone
Items  (Home/ Personal)   (Magical)
valadaar's comment on 2007-12-04 09:53 AM
Not bad - could use a little polish (capitalization is needed on a few sentences..) and of course a large backstory would be nice. All in all a straightfoward sub. Go to Comment
Prince Michael
NPCs  (Scenario Based)   (Travelers)
valadaar's comment on 2014-03-25 11:43 AM
A good character, though not a major driver.

Only real complaint is commas require a space to follow them - most of the commas lack that space.
Go to Comment
Prince Michael
NPCs  (Scenario Based)   (Travelers)
valadaar's comment on 2014-03-25 11:43 AM
Only voted Go to Comment
Book of Fury
Items  (Books and Scrolls)   (Heroic)
valadaar's comment on 2013-06-19 07:51 PM
An interesting piece of detail. Go to Comment
Reverend Fury
NPCs  (Scenario Based)   (Knowledge/Lore)
valadaar's comment on 2014-02-07 08:48 AM
A character with good potential for complicating an adventure. Replace his sword with a small army, and now he's a real mover and shaker.

Go to Comment
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