The texts indicates we should remember that those who die in these tombs go to Merideth. Why would I remember that when this fact was not mentioned in the text until that point. It would be better to me for the text to indicate that those who die here have their souls sent to Merideth, and explain why. I would not make the assumption that the reader will have read all of the Aviontix before reading this sub, and this appears to be a major fact.
I had to do some searching to find out what Merideth is - the first occurance should be linked to improve readability, or even adding the phrase ("the Aviontix City of the Dead"), etc.
On a minor note - there are a few typos here - Gauntlet,greath,etc, and Larger has an extra capitalization.
On the plus side, it is interesting that an avian race would have tombs in the ground - it is contrary to ones expectations and provides a reason for what otherwise would be bizarre traps. Go to Comment
On presentation - there are quite a number of typos - prarie, interpitation, etc, and there is a lack of spaces after punctuation such as commas and periods. There is debate about whether you should have one space or two, but you need at least one :)