Strolen\s Citadel content. 
The Aasvogel Knitting Circle
Society/ Organizations  (Mystical)   (Area)
valadaar's comment on 2013-04-30 09:35 AM
An excellent set of NPCs - I'd like to be able to see these NPCs stand on their own as well.

Nicely done! Go to Comment
Draachenhaur
Locations  (City)   (Mountains)
valadaar's comment on 2007-01-02 10:10 AM
This is an excellent location with realistic (!) economy, assuming you accept Smaug sized dragons :)

I like it! Go to Comment
League of Fox
Society/ Organizations  (Criminal/Espionage)   (Regional)
valadaar's comment on 2006-12-31 07:47 AM
Did not see it when it came in, but I think this is a really good first post and an interesting take on a rebel group.

The plot hooks are pretty good as well! Go to Comment
Woodland Tale
Plots  (Travel)   (Single-Storyline)
valadaar's comment on 2014-05-06 02:52 PM
Love the anecdotes attached to this one. A good solid adventure, with just the right level of detail to spark it.

Go to Comment
Tales of the Road
Plots  (Travel)   (Single-Storyline)
valadaar's comment on 2007-01-25 06:31 PM
Excellent Codex! Go to Comment
Tales of the Road
Plots  (Travel)   (Single-Storyline)
valadaar's comment on 2007-01-25 07:36 PM
Seems a little unfinished, but its pretty good! Go to Comment
Englbert's Home
Plots  (Crisis)   (Single-Storyline)
valadaar's comment on 2007-01-25 07:35 PM
Nickol Nacker
NPCs  (Minor)   (Travelers)
valadaar's comment on 2006-12-24 07:31 PM
Well done:)

Another take on ol' Saint Nick! Go to Comment
The Followers of Thurgul
Society/ Organizations  (Religious)   (Regional)
valadaar's comment on 2007-01-26 08:10 AM
The writing in the letters is excellent! Go to Comment
Ska
Lifeforms  (Third Kingdom)   (Any)
valadaar's comment on 2006-12-23 01:27 PM
A most interesting piece. Go to Comment
Divine Gifts
Systems  (Divine/ Spirit)   (General)
valadaar's comment on 2006-12-23 01:28 PM
Trigu bless us everyone..... :) Go to Comment
Tomb Trilosydes
Lifeforms  (Fauna)   (City/ Ruin)
valadaar's comment on 2006-12-22 08:45 PM
I like it!

Mmm Liquor Cerebrospinalis.. Wonder what mixes well with it? Go to Comment
The House of Sand
Society/ Organizations  (Criminal/Espionage)   (World Wide)
valadaar's comment on 2006-12-22 11:10 AM
I think this is quite an interesting take on an Assassin's guild - the means of recruiting is excellent.

From the perspective of presentation, there are some odd phrasings and some of the sentences seem rather clipped.

Not sure to what level to comment, but one suggestion presented many a time on this site is read your submission to yourself and see if it makes sense. Interestingly the lead in story told by the new recruit has better structure to me then the rest of the sub.

If I may present one example:

"They believe that there is an afterlife of paradise for them and over the next six years they learn everything about Amirah the Prophet, the House of Sand, and the Queen of Sand. Along with learning of their new found religion. "

"Along with learning of their new found religion." does not sound like a correct sentence to me, more of an afterthought.

I would break up this into two sentences, one indicating their belief, and the other included what they trained in.

Again this is my opinion, and I'm just a computer geek.

Nit-picking aside, I think this is a really good post. Overall, a 4/5 from me. Go to Comment
The Highwayman's Vials
Plots  (Discovery)   (Single-Storyline)
valadaar's comment on 2006-12-21 07:20 PM
Neat format - not as developed as most of your other subs, but excellent nonetheless! Go to Comment
Dungeon Trimmings
Plots  (Discovery)   (Encounter)
valadaar's comment on 2006-12-21 01:40 PM
What Moonhunter said. This is incorrectly named and categorized.

A collection of plots/events around a Dig could be a more useful submission. Go to Comment
Dungeon Trimmings
Plots  (Discovery)   (Encounter)
valadaar's comment on 2006-12-21 04:06 PM
13. Minor acts of sabotage being occurring. Items on site are stolen or damaged, and purchased goods are sometimes substandard, stolen en route, or otherwise interfered with.

14. The digging uncovers a surprisingly recent corpse.
This should happen after other events which seem calculated to slow/stop the escavation have occurred, such as sabotage. The corpse is a murder victim and the murder had inadvertently selected the ruins as a good place to hide the corpse. The ruins previously were shunned due fear (substantiated or not) of evil spirits. The murderer may have instigated the sabotage either directly, or indirectly.

15. Hordes of poor peasants show up daily with digging equipment and begin digging everywhere. Rumors of the treasure have spread and the large unreasoning mob is desperate and grows every day. Depending on their desperation, they may try and run the PC's out of their claim. Go to Comment
Dungeon Trimmings
Plots  (Discovery)   (Encounter)
valadaar's comment on 2006-12-21 04:08 PM
Figure I'd add to it since I opened my mouth :) Go to Comment
Local Winter Holidays
Locations  (City)   (Any)
valadaar's comment on 2006-12-21 11:22 AM
These are really good! Boxing matches on Boxing day? Heh! Go to Comment
Local History
Locations  (City)   (Any)
valadaar's comment on 2006-12-21 10:00 AM
Really good idea for a scroll, and the entries already on it are top notch!

Kudos one and all! Go to Comment
Mutants with useful mutations
Lifeforms  (Constructed)   (Any)
valadaar's comment on 2006-12-21 10:11 AM
Unless people rescue this sub with more good additions, I know what my vote is going to be. The amount of work done on this sub looks to be under 5 minutes.

1. Spellcheck
2. Needs more added by original author - otherwise it should have been left an idea seed.
In addition to Moonhunter's concerns.

#1 is going to need more then a hand if they want to hold a pistol.

Mutant #2 is going to have problems with normal life - they can't do heavy work, play catch, fight, etc, without risking severe pain and probable injury. Imagine if they accidently put their hand on a stove?

etc. Go to Comment
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