The writing is excellent, but I am having a bit of trouble sorting out the details.
What is provided is good for use as legends to provide to PCs, etc when researching the item, but the real details of the item would be useful. At some point we need a little more then pure narration. Some of the other formatting tools - Bold, Italics, BlockQuotes, in moderation, would help as well.
Where did it really come from and what are it's abilities?
That said, for a 1st submission, it is really good. Go to Comment
Thanks - that is some food for thought. You think it should be impossible to obtain demon blood?
A lot of spells, rituals and such seem to call for the stuff, so I figured it was a commonly(???) accessable material. Go to Comment
Can't add to what Moonhunter has said on this one. This needs to be put into the 'in work' section.
There is a small glint of a good idea here, but the execution is abysmal. The history is a string of cliches.
"Aard had a crush on a princess, and he did magic things for her, but she didnt notice him and instead married a valiant knight. later the knight treated her badly, and again Aard tried to help her, but she cursed at him for being a fool and weak and this made Aard really sad. " Go to Comment
There are a large number of grammatical and spelling problems in this post. The intent and ideas are there, but the presentation needs work.
Just looking at the summary yields:
Humans call them Freaks of Nature others would prefer them to dis belivers of god but what they are really about is the Abyss.
You need a 'while' between Nature and 'others' to join the sentance, and it is not clear what you mean by 'what they are really about is the Abyss'.
Spelling/Grammar aside, there are a lot of places where cliche's are used, and further clarification is needed.
I would suggest moving this sub to in work (advice requested) and ask for some frank recommendations from the others on this site. I believe that with a fair amount of work, a good sub can be made from this initial idea.
You may also consider linking your other subs together (such as Lady Shayla).