Strolen\s Citadel content. 
Calypso of Caspia
NPCs  (Mythic/ Historical)   (Mystical)
valadaar's comment on 2013-07-02 01:17 PM
If he received dedicate tutelage frequently as the story said, it would not surprise me that he learned magic the 'right' way eventually.


You need to link your subs though - apart from the text, there are no links to the Lich Scroll or the other submissions that interlink.  The easiest linkage is simply  { Lich_Scroll} where { and { are replaced with appropriate square brackets.






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The Wu Xing Beasts
Lifeforms  (Unique)   (Any)
valadaar's comment on 2013-06-26 11:19 AM
Beautifully formatted - I"ll take some time to read it hopefully tonight, but I suspect I'll be voting high on this one :)
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The Dreaming Chamber
Locations  (City)   (Other)
valadaar's comment on 2013-07-02 10:31 AM
This is a very good submission and I agree with both Cheka and Moonlake's comments.

A couple things that bother me, though obviously I could adjust this if I used it.

"Anyone who dies in the city will immediately join the undead forever. Sorry."

When it comes to life and death mechanics, I would leave this to the game system in question. There should always be a way out - generally resurrection spells are driven by entities as powerful or more than those involved in the city.

The Knights. You have 24 of them. They can kill even high level characters by themselves in very short order, and they regenerate nearly instantly? Unless your players are rather more principled (non-greedy :)) then any I've had the experience to play with over the years, you are almost assuring a permanent total party kill. At least have the knights not reappear until the next nightfall or daybreak.

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The Dreaming Chamber
Locations  (City)   (Other)
valadaar's comment on 2013-07-02 10:32 AM
Only voted Go to Comment
Surya Power
Society/ Organizations  (Mercantile)   (World Wide)
valadaar's comment on 2013-07-02 10:14 AM
Not bad, but I would have made the 'statistics' at the top at the bottom instead.

Perhaps an NPC or two, or some plot ideas would have enlivened what reads as a CIA factbook entry.
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Technological Parapsychic Powers
Systems  (Technical/ Mechanical)   (Defining)
valadaar's comment on 2013-06-26 08:16 AM
Some great concepts here that can be built off here - even for a Supers campaign or the like.

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Zoe 3000
NPCs  (Extras)   (Artistic/Performance)
valadaar's comment on 2013-06-30 06:19 PM
A really great sub, and I ehco Dosstas comments.

Though if pink hair really was the issue - thats an easy fix with hair dye.

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Weed of Illusions
Items  (Potion)   (Magical)
valadaar's comment on 2013-07-01 07:36 PM
This is good - I could see a whole school of magic or cultural tradition centered on this herb. Nicely done! Go to Comment
Drowsy Weed
Items  (Potion)   (Non-Magical)
valadaar's comment on 2013-07-01 07:35 PM
Interesting, but I would personally make it location specific, rather than something that can be found anywhere. And - if for D&D - something that can cut down on required rest for magic users would not be common and worth coppers.

I do like it, but it's effects are quite significant.

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Plague of Plagues
Items  (Other)   (Non-Magical)
valadaar's comment on 2014-03-04 12:18 PM
Interesting ideas here, though some seem too forcefully awful in their genesis. The God Plague to me is over the top to the point of eye-rolling.



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Drake Humblestaff
NPCs  (Campaign)   (Knowledge/Lore)
valadaar's comment on 2013-06-21 12:16 PM
Well, this is very, very good. Those who can, do, those who can't - teach or in this case, inspire.

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Nkoloso Cosmodrome
Locations  (Establishment)   (Space)
valadaar's comment on 2013-06-20 08:15 AM
A great background piece. Africa has a lot of potential and its nice to see you exploring it here. Go to Comment
Standard Light Armor
Items  (Armor)   (Combat)
valadaar's comment on 2013-05-05 08:14 PM
I'm a sucker for tech talk, and this fits the bill.

Again, I love the world you are building here Scras. Go to Comment
Tortoise Shell Tavern
Locations  (Fortification)   (Any)
valadaar's comment on 2013-06-19 07:15 PM
An good backstory, but it only seems incidentally associated with the tavern. You put a lot of work into a backstory that currently adds little to the location apart from its name. There should perhaps be a way to tie Heathen and Sar's ghosts back into the story somehow - then that effort will have more value.

The former owner's manipulation is a good twist however.

Good writing, though the names Faith and Heathen for witches, and Wenchkeep for someone who keeps wenches is an interesting choice.

A darn good first sub and welcome to the Citadel! Go to Comment
The Kingmakers: The Locust
NPCs  (Character Sheet)   (Political)
valadaar's comment on 2013-06-17 11:34 AM
Did you get around to attaching the character sheet or was this a casualty of the Datapocolypse?

As it stands, this is a good history, but I really don't see much of his personality, apart from being as easily turned to evil as Anakin Skywalker.

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30 Illuminati Minions
NPCs  (Major)   (Criminal/Espionage)
valadaar's comment on 2013-04-22 11:06 AM
Wow, quite the work you have here Scras! I like 30's that tell a story and this one does. Many of the characters are quite memorable. Go to Comment
Magic System based on Fengshui
Systems  (Mystical)   (Historical)
valadaar's comment on 2013-05-09 10:26 PM
My perception on feng shui was it was the art of placement of objects within rooms, or gardens with the intent to improve good energy and prevent bad luck.

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Magic System based on Fengshui
Systems  (Mystical)   (Historical)
valadaar's comment on 2013-05-29 08:46 PM
Why not upload the image here? Clicking it takes me to a broken site. Go to Comment
Magic System based on Fengshui
Systems  (Mystical)   (Historical)
valadaar's comment on 2013-05-09 09:46 PM
Its a great idea and a great start for a system, but for me I need to see some concrete examples. The whole concept of the layout of rooms and architechure seems to me absent. Go to Comment
The Leonamuth
Lifeforms  (Fauna)   (Desert)
valadaar's comment on 2013-05-02 01:54 PM
Update: Okay, this one is as done as I'm planning on making it, though will add answers to questions if they are asked. Go to Comment
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