Strolen\s Citadel content. 
Excerpt from Lockwhistle’s Adventurer’s Companion for Beginners
Items  (Books and Scrolls)   (Non-Magical)
valadaar's comment on 2014-01-23 02:51 PM
Hmm, this would work as a vehicle for introducing various creatures on the site from a different perspective of the current subs.

I don't have a good one to add at the moment, but it certainly has potential!

Go to Comment
The Lasting Company
Society/ Organizations  (Combative)   (Regional)
valadaar's comment on 2013-12-03 10:01 AM

An interesting submission though it seems to go out of its way to be macabre.

Also, Death Wars seems an odd title :)

Go to Comment
Corporal John Heathfeld Esquire,
NPCs  (Character Sheet)   (Combative)
valadaar's comment on 2013-12-03 09:51 AM

I think the amount of effort on this sub is amazing, but I'm afraid there are a few issues that prevent me from being able to properly appreciate it.

1. This report, by its very length, defends itself against the risk of being read. -Winston Churchill

This submission appears to cover too much ground, and there are things that are not really necessary.

In general, submissions here should be game system agnostic - the character sheet should in my opinion, be omitted, or perhaps contained in a linked stub.

This also extends to the detailed discussions on alignment - state it simply and if you want to have a major discussion on alignment, perhaps an article or the forums.

The item descriptions, while wonderfully details, are rather long for what are basically standard items with a bit of unique details. Maybe one or two items might deserve such treatment, but not all.

2. Bold should be used sparingly, it appears to cover the entire submission which defeats the purpose. As it is, it promotes eye strain and makes me really not want to read it in detail. - It seems to be a broken Bold tag, I'll see if I can fix it.

Again, the amount of detail and effort is amazing, but it is a very intimidating read and a lot of it unnecessary to describe an NPC for others to use.

I'm holding off a vote for now - it really needs to be severely pruned down.

Go to Comment
The Pack
Lifeforms  (Third Kingdom)   (City/ Ruin)
valadaar's comment on 2013-11-20 09:13 PM
Update: Releasing this into the world. Part of a larger submission that will use them. Go to Comment
The Pack
Lifeforms  (Third Kingdom)   (City/ Ruin)
valadaar's comment on 2013-11-20 09:34 PM
Update: Out into the world. A building block for a larger submission. Go to Comment
The Pack
Lifeforms  (Third Kingdom)   (City/ Ruin)
valadaar's comment on 2013-11-21 09:25 AM
I'm open to questions - I had not really planned fleshing these folks out much more then they currently are as an outworldly threat appropriate to where I was going to use them. Go to Comment
Locations  (Country/ State)   (Water)
valadaar's comment on 2013-11-22 02:56 PM
Its a good description of the locale, and usable. The Tattoo link is a bit of a stretch - its a minor detail that does not sit at the core of the sub - its maritime nature is more so.

Go to Comment
Ms. Carlyle
NPCs  (Minor)   (Technical)
valadaar's comment on 2013-11-20 03:21 PM
This has strong Fallout feel, and of course I love it.

Go to Comment
Agency 17: Illegal Search and Seizure
Plots  (Hired)   (Campaign)
valadaar's comment on 2013-11-19 09:50 AM
This is an odd one for the series - there does not seem to be any sinister motivations.

Perhaps the drugs _are_ being seized for 'destruction'. They are destroyed, but end up being used as precursors for some other material.

Good details!

Go to Comment
The Azul Deck of Shadows
Items  (Other)   (Magical)
valadaar's comment on 2013-11-19 09:31 AM
I have always loved the deck of many things, and Tarot cards, and so this sub is greatly appealing. The use of images is excellent.

Goss has commented on the same thoughts I had on that paragraph.

Save or Die is traditionally associated with the Deck of Many Things, so I have no aversion to that - you draw you takes your chances :)

All and all, really good. Welcome back to the ranks of the posters AG!

Go to Comment
Subdermal Monitor
Items  (Tools)   (Non-Magical)
valadaar's comment on 2013-11-19 09:47 AM
Not bad, though it really needs a clearer description. It implies it with the title and dances about it, but I think it needs just a little more description. I at least needed to think about it a bit to properly visualize it.

Mental picture shows a guy with his forehead flashing - "This Space for Rent"

And of course, this development is one step away from providing limited chameleon power.
Go to Comment
Fort Hard
Locations  (Fortification)   (Other)
valadaar's comment on 2013-11-18 11:34 AM
I assume that upon creation of this trap there was also created a book/scroll detailing the Release spell. Cool item! Go to Comment
Trace On System
Items  (Other)   (Non-Magical)
valadaar's comment on 2013-11-18 10:18 AM
Good and in keeping with the Cosmic Era Vib. I would not want to get hit by a tazer wearing these...

Go to Comment
Augmented Disposition Tattoos
Society/ Organizations  (Mercantile)   (World Wide)
valadaar's comment on 2013-11-15 03:03 PM
I like the idea of the enhancement, and that the tattoo serves to mark what procedures have been done, but it feels very superficially tied to the tattoo.

The sections also seem a little jumbled - for example the NPC portion just does not flow for me. I think I get the style you are presenting, but it seems to be somewhat split between being serious, and humorous ( Unaltered Humans Against Tattoos), with more towards the silly side. The summary/intro went in a nice, somewhat dark direction but the other sections dropped the tone.

Go to Comment
Locations  (Country/ State)   (Plains)
valadaar's comment on 2013-11-14 02:57 PM
An odd hybrid Monarchy/Republic, sort of like the Magna Carta going in and out of effect from time to time. A good nation with lots of details.

Go to Comment
The Swamp Wraith
Lifeforms  (Unique)   (Swamp)
valadaar's comment on 2013-11-13 10:55 AM
Very good! There was a little confusion at first as to who was talking to who, but this is a a great post! Go to Comment
10 Magic Tattoos
Items  (Other)   (Magical)
valadaar's comment on 2013-11-13 03:00 PM
Bah, Lead Balloon Award winner here. Go to Comment
10 Magic Tattoos
Items  (Other)   (Magical)
valadaar's comment on 2013-11-16 03:15 PM
I plunged deep to get this many. Down with the tryanny of the 30! :)

Go to Comment
Lifeforms  (Unique)   (Water)
valadaar's comment on 2013-11-12 08:43 AM
I was going to say the same thing Muro!

This is really cool, and use of images is excellent.

Go to Comment
Lifeforms  (Fauna)   (Any)
valadaar's comment on 2013-11-12 10:49 AM
Not bad, though it earns its Silly freetext :)

I have to agree with Gossamer - given how witches are generally treated, kids would not need to disappear before the pitchforks came out...

In response, the Japanese Dogwasps were created...

Go to Comment
Total Comments:

Join Now!!

Fatal error: Call to undefined function top_menu() in /home/strolen/public_html/lockmor/application/views/citadel/vfooter.php on line 2