Strolen\s Citadel content. 
River's Coin
Items  (Other)   (Magical)
valadaar's comment on 2012-06-11 10:32 PM
This is a good sub chilled - great job!

The older i get, the more connected i see time and death. A metephore for me is the never-stopping conveyer belt to oblivion. Go to Comment
River's Coin
Items  (Other)   (Magical)
valadaar's comment on 2012-06-11 10:33 PM
This is a good sub chilled - great job!

The older i get, the more connected i see time and death. A metephore for me is the never-stopping conveyer belt to oblivion. Go to Comment
River's Coin
Items  (Other)   (Magical)
valadaar's comment on 2012-06-11 10:33 PM
This is a good sub chilled - great job!

The older i get, the more connected i see time and death. A metephore for me is the never-stopping conveyer belt to oblivion. Go to Comment
River's Coin
Items  (Other)   (Magical)
valadaar's comment on 2012-06-11 10:33 PM
This is a good sub chilled - great job!

The older i get, the more connected i see time and death. A metephore for me is the never-stopping conveyer belt to oblivion. Go to Comment
River's Coin
Items  (Other)   (Magical)
valadaar's comment on 2012-06-11 10:33 PM
This is a good sub chilled - great job!

The older i get, the more connected i see time and death. A metephore for me is the never-stopping conveyer belt to oblivion. Go to Comment
River's Coin
Items  (Other)   (Magical)
valadaar's comment on 2012-06-11 10:34 PM
This is a good sub chilled - great job!

The older i get, the more connected i see time and death. A metephore for me is the never-stopping conveyer belt to oblivion. Go to Comment
The Nexus
Locations  (City)   (Other)
valadaar's comment on 2012-06-10 06:40 AM
I love the delightful madness of this place! I think it needs a villian of some type more focused then what seem to be more environmental hazards.

I enjoyed reading it and hope for more.
Go to Comment
Time Zombie
Lifeforms  (Fauna)   (City/ Ruin)
valadaar's comment on 2012-06-09 08:31 PM
These are very interesting and the time effects are quite cool.Am not a fan of save-or-die, so I would have a multi-round 'wrestling match' once the zombie caught hold, all the while battering the victims defenses. should the victim manage to break free, the zombie would disappear screaming and no ill effect on the victim, otherwise they take the zombies place. Go to Comment
Time Zombie
Lifeforms  (Fauna)   (City/ Ruin)
valadaar's comment on 2012-06-09 08:31 PM
These are very interesting and the time effects are quite cool.Am not a fan of save-or-die, so I would have a multi-round 'wrestling match' once the zombie caught hold, all the while battering the victims defenses. should the victim manage to break free, the zombie would disappear screaming and no ill effect on the victim, otherwise they take the zombies place. Go to Comment
The Lavei Family
NPCs  (Major)   (Agricultural)
valadaar's comment on 2012-06-09 08:53 PM
Truely excellent. I get an Adams familiy feel from this.

Really great job! Go to Comment
Daggers of Torxes
Items  (Melee Weapons)   (Cursed)
valadaar's comment on 2006-10-13 12:52 PM
"He then swapped the daggers with those that his enemies had. A few days later they all winded up dead each with a dagger stuck through his heart."

Apart from the spelling (wound up as opposed to winded up), how did he manage to swap the daggers? Magic? Paid assassins?

"Since then the daggers have disappeared and have not been found since, all apart from three, two of which have been destroyed and the other which resides with the new high mage who is trying to break the spell on them and trace their creator."

How did the daggers dissappear, if they were found in the hearts of their victems? Stolen? Dissolved in the victem's blood?

"Magic/Cursed Properties
Each of these daggers is cursed and drains their bearers of will and eventually drives them insane and forces them to kill themselves with the dagger. "

Not too eventually if a couple days after they get them they stab themselves. Go to Comment
Daggers of Torxes
Items  (Melee Weapons)   (Cursed)
valadaar's comment on 2006-10-15 11:25 AM
Heh, I didn't mean to use those ideas verbatium - not all of mine are good either!

Now, I think we can boil down the thesis of your idea to:

1. Mage wants revenge against his enemies.
2. He creates magical weapons that force the bearer to kill themselves.


Now, how plausable that all 12 of his enemies are going to go out and buy magic daggers from the same person, especially on a short notice? You need to come up with something a LOT more plausable. The Death Wraith part seems a little over the top.

So, why would 12 mages suddenly acquire a cursed item? Perhaps some ritual group they are part of includes it as a badge of entry?

These seem rather powerful - what price did the mage pay to make these/get these made, especially in little time? Hopefully something more original then 'he sold his soul...'.

You really need to work on your english as well as spelling and as others have said, read other subs, especially the golden ones for what quality they are looking for. I've got a ways to go too. Go to Comment
Daggers of Torxes
Items  (Melee Weapons)   (Cursed)
valadaar's comment on 2006-11-03 12:19 PM
if you read the sub properly you might have noticed that...

Not a good way to get positive feedback. Go to Comment
Legendary Terror
Lifeforms  (Unique)   (Any)
valadaar's comment on 2013-05-06 11:00 AM
I would suggest at the least creating stubs to contain the linked creatures, with your general thoughts on the subject, rather than subjecting us to Grue's :)
Go to Comment
30 Ways to Cheat Death
Articles  (Resource)   (Game Mastering)
valadaar's comment on 2012-12-07 01:27 PM
A great 30! Nicely done!
Go to Comment
Fools' gems
Items  (Materials)   (Non-Magical)
valadaar's comment on 2013-05-07 07:52 PM
An interesting idea, though something that reacts to magic, by definition, needs to be magic. That said, I would expect it to be sufficiently low power as to require a very powerful spell to detect.

Go to Comment
Ogrish Thundergun
Items  (Ranged Weapons)   (Combat)
valadaar's comment on 2012-06-06 07:06 PM
This is quite the weapon. I liked the story even more then the item.
It fits the warhammerish vibe perfectly.

Nice job!

Go to Comment
7 Things I've Learned
Articles  (Humor/ Editorial)   (Gaming - In General)
valadaar's comment on 2013-04-30 05:08 AM
Could have swore I voted on this excellent first time around. Go to Comment
Puppeteer Beetle
Lifeforms  (Intelligent Species)   (Any)
valadaar's comment on 2013-04-28 07:25 PM
This is quite good, though I think you should revise it for length. There are a lot of good details, but the length of the piece defends itself from being read (with apologizes to Winston Churchill).


Go to Comment
Gaming on a Budget
Articles  (Resource)   (Gaming - In General)
valadaar's comment on 2012-05-30 09:54 PM
Good article, but i would add that there are free game systems out there. I don't have a listing at hand but they do exist. Or, you can craft one yourself!

:)
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