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The Five Orders of Ivory Tower
Society/ Organizations  (Political)   (Country/ State)
valadaar's comment on 2013-09-19 11:17 AM
This is quite good and these are interesting orders.

I noticed some odd sentences in the first paragraph, such as

"Built around the base of the mesa is another city Blessed Gathering is a home to many people and a center for trade and a stop along most of the safe routes through the desert."

I think the following sounds a little better:

"Built around the base of the mesa is another city called Blessed Gathering. This city is...."


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30 Dimensional Fatigue Events
Plots  (Crisis)   (Encounter)
valadaar's comment on 2013-09-12 09:31 AM
Was this _meant_ to fall into public view? :)
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30 Dimensional Fatigue Events
Plots  (Crisis)   (Encounter)
valadaar's comment on 2013-09-16 12:35 PM
A very well executed 30. So many ideas here :)

Well done sir! Go to Comment
Eshnes Pehe - The Blood Drinker
Items  (Melee Weapons)   (Magical)
valadaar's comment on 2013-09-19 02:32 PM
This could easily work in Urban fantasy, perhaps even more so.

Someone like Hannibal Lecter (sp?) would be the perfect owner of this item, found during his years as a grad student screening artefacts. No one ever found his fellow student who disappeared on the dig...
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Devouring Fire
Lifeforms  (Third Kingdom)   (Other)
valadaar's comment on 2013-09-11 06:38 PM
One and a bit sittings on this one. Bit of a record for me. Go to Comment
Devouring Fire
Lifeforms  (Third Kingdom)   (Other)
valadaar's comment on 2013-09-11 07:51 PM
Thanks! I'm trying to shorten the time it takes for me to make subs by a few months.. :)
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Reliquary of the Rotting Legion
Items  (Wand/Staff/ Arcane)   (Villanous)
valadaar's comment on 2013-09-19 02:25 PM
A decent item, with lots of potential uses.

For a long-term plot, the spirit inside the box would want to get _out_. For a powerful necromancer, not having a physical body once he does so many not be that big a deal - many undead are non-corporeal. The trick would be how to get out without being drawn off to the afterlife and probably consignment to Hell or its equivalent.

Perhaps a plot could be an infernal being looking to collect the 'overdue' soul of the necromancer. Maybe even recruiting the PCs to this end.

As for why it is not more common - I'd say it could in fact be more common as making magic items by binding spirits within is a perfectly reasonable way to go.



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Demonic Pipe Organ
Dungeons  (Underground)   (Puzzles)
valadaar's comment on 2013-09-18 09:40 PM
Yes Muro - keep going!:)

This is interesting, but would need the right game and players to use.
Id use it with the demonic appearance toned down, or perhaps hidden until it is played with intensity by someone who knows how to play.
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Refuge Beneath the Waves
Locations  (Regional)   (Water)
valadaar's comment on 2013-09-16 10:25 AM
It shares some themes with Bioshock (I and II, concerning the undersea city Rapture), but the circumstances are very different.

I think this is a good start, it lays out the groundwork for additional work.

I found the descriptions of the vehicles rather mundane and not really fitting in with the grander scale of the rest of the submission. I'd have sooner seen more details about the people since the root technology and location was covered. Go to Comment
The Tower of NON
Locations  (Fortification)   (Any)
valadaar's comment on 2013-09-16 10:16 AM
An interesting take on antigravity, though it requires a very specific worldview.

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Dimensional Tap Reactor
Items  (Tools)   (Cursed)
valadaar's comment on 2013-09-16 08:11 AM
You are really ramping up on this setting. So much material, and done well.

I truly envy your energy :)
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The Most Serene and Devoted Temple of the Moon
Locations  (Establishment)   (Any)
valadaar's comment on 2013-09-16 08:03 AM

It works very well as a fairy tale for me, and has lively imagery.
MysticMoons comment does it for me.

If it were not a fairy tale, than the Silver and Gold would have to be something like gilded stone, as anything approaching an 'enormous' ball of silver, gold or even copper would be ruinously expense, and impossible to catapult without a tremendously strong and/or magical catapult.

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The Scavengers
Articles  (Setting Building)   (Gaming - Genre)
valadaar's comment on 2013-09-16 07:56 AM
Class V Sourcebook material :)

No idea why no other comments, but this is really great stuff! Go to Comment
Dwarven Calendar
Systems  (Societal/ Cultural)   (Specific)
valadaar's comment on 2013-09-12 09:18 PM


An interesting system that is one answer to how underground races would handle time. Lots of detail and a good use of images.



I saw one sentance that could use another look:



Any Most other subterranean dwarven settlements all will have at least one geyser that erupts roughly at the same time as the gesyer in the mother halls.

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Dwarven Calendar
Systems  (Societal/ Cultural)   (Specific)
valadaar's comment on 2013-09-12 09:21 PM
Only voted Go to Comment
All Quiet on the West Third Street Front
Articles  (Fiction)   (Gaming - Genre)
valadaar's comment on 2013-09-12 09:11 PM
I am glad I read the other sub where you introduced Sarah. Are you building up for a novel someday?

A nice piece. Well described - it captures the scene. Go to Comment
Stout Lagerale
NPCs  (Minor)   (Combative)
valadaar's comment on 2013-09-11 08:40 PM
Sounds like a campaign to remember. I like this fellow quite a bit, and would love to hear other stories from that old campaign. Go to Comment
The Hedge Maze
Lifeforms  (Constructed)   (Plains)
valadaar's comment on 2013-09-10 10:48 AM
Not bad, but the specific association with wizards seems fairly weak, since there is no overt Wizard included.

Some suggested plants:

http://strolen.com/viewing/Plants_of_the_Garden-Fortress

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Hell Knight: The Tragedy of Celsia Rimeheart.
NPCs  (Major)   (Combative)
valadaar's comment on 2013-09-10 10:40 AM
Oooh, this is wonderfully theatrical. Very well done and I second Scras's comments.

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Zombie Servants of the Ch'thra
Plots  (Crisis)   (Campaign)
valadaar's comment on 2013-09-10 09:16 AM
It is an interesting piece, but it really seems too final in its nature to use directly. Its an apoclypse - the final kind it would seem.

When you add the near total destruction plus an _intelligent_ foe, you really have quashed any hope whatsoever of any normalcy, and are left with basically going down fighting - maybe.

I'm more Shaun of the Dead post-apoc than Testament and On The Beach
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Testament_(film)
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/On_the_Beach_(1959_film)


I could see this as a vision should the PC's fail in stopping something.




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