Strolen\s Citadel content. 
Machinama, a cult in Refuge Beneath the Waves
Society/ Organizations  (Religious)   (World Wide)
valadaar's comment on 2015-02-13 12:07 PM
Amazing detail and depth on this one. Very good job! Go to Comment
Queen Llaewyn Reborn
Plots  (Event)   (Multi-Storyline)
valadaar's comment on 2015-02-13 11:55 AM
Love the style, but the end result is murky. A formally 'good' princess comes out as Maleficent?

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Motive Spirits
Items  (Transports)   (Sentient)
valadaar's comment on 2015-02-13 11:49 AM
I'm with Aramax. Yes, its ground that has been driven over before, but that can apply to 90% of everything.

Good ideas, neat stuff!
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Articles  (Fiction)   (Gaming - In General)
valadaar's comment on 2015-02-13 11:44 AM
Neat stuff here - excellent, creepy fiction! Go to Comment
Slang and Jargon Beneath the Waves: The Big Under
Systems  (Societal/ Cultural)   (Specific)
valadaar's comment on 2015-02-13 11:29 AM
This is excellent. So much detail into each one. Great stuff here Axle!

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The Light and His Lady
Society/ Organizations  (Mystical)   (World Wide)
valadaar's comment on 2015-02-13 11:22 AM
Agree with Mystic. It seems usable as some text in a book PCs find, but its so metaphysical its usage is quite limited. Go to Comment
Xue Ren (Snow/Blood Blade Edge)
NPCs  (Character Sheet)   (Combative)
valadaar's comment on 2015-02-13 11:15 AM
This is pretty cool. Nicely stylized.

One thing about that text at the start:

“A kill within every ten steps,
Not leaving traces within a thousand miles,

Umm, if you killed every 10 steps, that is a pretty easy trace to follow :P
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The First of Cities
Locations  (City)   (Other)
valadaar's comment on 2015-02-13 11:11 AM
A nicely described city. Lots of useful little details.

I find the name 'Havocian' somewhat amusing. I expected you to describe their activities as spreading Havoc. :)

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The Tale of Solomon Soulhammer Pt. II
NPCs  (Mythic/ Historical)   (Mystical)
valadaar's comment on 2015-02-13 11:07 AM
Really more fiction than NPC, but its still really good. This one could have been longer :)
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A Grave Problem
Plots  (Discovery)   (Encounter)
valadaar's comment on 2015-02-13 11:01 AM
Very straightforward and usable. Good stuff. Go to Comment
The Stolen World, Overview and Codex
Locations  (World)   (Any)
valadaar's comment on 2015-02-13 11:00 AM
This is an interesting start - it feels like a set of notes as opposed to a full submission.

Some neat ideas here. Go to Comment
The Tale of Solomon Soulhammer Pt. I
NPCs  (Mythic/ Historical)   (Mystical)
valadaar's comment on 2015-02-12 08:02 PM
A very good background piece. Was he speaking metaphorically about using his father's tools - a blacksmiths hammer and a warhammer are different beasts.
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Apocalyptic Vampires
Lifeforms  (Intelligent Species)   (City/ Ruin)
valadaar's comment on 2015-02-12 10:32 AM
A straightforward idea, though the Sword freetext I think is a stretch. Go to Comment
Castle Kaukenn
Dungeons  (Other)   (Rooms/ Halls)
valadaar's comment on 2015-02-12 09:01 AM
A very interesting location - I like castles pitched into the Abyss.

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The Elder Crow of the Tarlathii
Lifeforms  (Ethereal)   (Any)
valadaar's comment on 2015-02-02 10:01 PM
An AG Sub! A Coldforges Sub! Awesome.

I like the feeling it conjures up. Adds atmosphere to possession.

And I love the idea that superstitious rituals have real purpose and need. Go to Comment
Mark Greaves, Assassin Hobo
NPCs  (Scenario Based)   (Travelers)
valadaar's comment on 2015-02-12 08:22 AM
Lots of potential with this one - so long as he keeps a low profile, and homeless is good at that.

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Artan Keybreaker
NPCs  (Minor)   (Criminal/Espionage)
valadaar's comment on 2016-03-28 10:44 AM
This is a good one! The shadowpinning dagger is great!

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Buluc, death priest of Rope Woman
NPCs  (Minor)   (Religious)
valadaar's comment on 2015-03-11 03:24 PM
Muro's comment here is spot on. This is excellent and a worthy winner. Go to Comment
Elainuk: Parna's Dark Elf Assassin
NPCs  (Minor)   (Criminal/Espionage)
valadaar's comment on 2015-02-01 10:51 AM
Thats a new one for me - magical crossdressing and racing(?) assassin-hobbit. :)

Very interesting indeed!
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Skill Tabs
Items  (Books and Scrolls)   (Non-Magical)
valadaar's comment on 2015-01-29 08:51 PM
I hold to the Stats are okay if they are unnecessary to the submission and simply extend its value school.

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