Strolen\s Citadel content. 
Demonic Pipe Organ
Dungeons  (Underground)   (Puzzles)
valadaar's comment on 2013-09-18 09:40 PM
Yes Muro - keep going!:)

This is interesting, but would need the right game and players to use.
Id use it with the demonic appearance toned down, or perhaps hidden until it is played with intensity by someone who knows how to play.
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Refuge Beneath the Waves
Locations  (Regional)   (Water)
valadaar's comment on 2013-09-16 10:25 AM
It shares some themes with Bioshock (I and II, concerning the undersea city Rapture), but the circumstances are very different.

I think this is a good start, it lays out the groundwork for additional work.

I found the descriptions of the vehicles rather mundane and not really fitting in with the grander scale of the rest of the submission. I'd have sooner seen more details about the people since the root technology and location was covered. Go to Comment
The Tower of NON
Locations  (Fortification)   (Any)
valadaar's comment on 2013-09-16 10:16 AM
An interesting take on antigravity, though it requires a very specific worldview.

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Dimensional Tap Reactor
Items  (Tools)   (Cursed)
valadaar's comment on 2013-09-16 08:11 AM
You are really ramping up on this setting. So much material, and done well.

I truly envy your energy :)
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The Most Serene and Devoted Temple of the Moon
Locations  (Establishment)   (Any)
valadaar's comment on 2013-09-16 08:03 AM

It works very well as a fairy tale for me, and has lively imagery.
MysticMoons comment does it for me.

If it were not a fairy tale, than the Silver and Gold would have to be something like gilded stone, as anything approaching an 'enormous' ball of silver, gold or even copper would be ruinously expense, and impossible to catapult without a tremendously strong and/or magical catapult.

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The Scavengers
Articles  (Setting Building)   (Gaming - Genre)
valadaar's comment on 2013-09-16 07:56 AM
Class V Sourcebook material :)

No idea why no other comments, but this is really great stuff! Go to Comment
Dwarven Calendar
Systems  (Societal/ Cultural)   (Specific)
valadaar's comment on 2013-09-12 09:18 PM


An interesting system that is one answer to how underground races would handle time. Lots of detail and a good use of images.



I saw one sentance that could use another look:



Any Most other subterranean dwarven settlements all will have at least one geyser that erupts roughly at the same time as the gesyer in the mother halls.

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Dwarven Calendar
Systems  (Societal/ Cultural)   (Specific)
valadaar's comment on 2013-09-12 09:21 PM
Only voted Go to Comment
All Quiet on the West Third Street Front
Articles  (Fiction)   (Gaming - Genre)
valadaar's comment on 2013-09-12 09:11 PM
I am glad I read the other sub where you introduced Sarah. Are you building up for a novel someday?

A nice piece. Well described - it captures the scene. Go to Comment
Stout Lagerale
NPCs  (Minor)   (Combative)
valadaar's comment on 2013-09-11 08:40 PM
Sounds like a campaign to remember. I like this fellow quite a bit, and would love to hear other stories from that old campaign. Go to Comment
The Hedge Maze
Lifeforms  (Constructed)   (Plains)
valadaar's comment on 2013-09-10 10:48 AM
Not bad, but the specific association with wizards seems fairly weak, since there is no overt Wizard included.

Some suggested plants:

http://strolen.com/viewing/Plants_of_the_Garden-Fortress

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Hell Knight: The Tragedy of Celsia Rimeheart.
NPCs  (Major)   (Combative)
valadaar's comment on 2013-09-10 10:40 AM
Oooh, this is wonderfully theatrical. Very well done and I second Scras's comments.

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Zombie Servants of the Ch'thra
Plots  (Crisis)   (Campaign)
valadaar's comment on 2013-09-10 09:16 AM
It is an interesting piece, but it really seems too final in its nature to use directly. Its an apoclypse - the final kind it would seem.

When you add the near total destruction plus an _intelligent_ foe, you really have quashed any hope whatsoever of any normalcy, and are left with basically going down fighting - maybe.

I'm more Shaun of the Dead post-apoc than Testament and On The Beach
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Testament_(film)
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/On_the_Beach_(1959_film)


I could see this as a vision should the PC's fail in stopping something.




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Seven Forms Ascendant Hunter
NPCs  (Major)   (Combative)
valadaar's comment on 2013-09-09 09:40 PM
An interesting character, well written and detailed. You have already painted a good picture of your world and I look forward to seeing more!
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Not So Secret Identity
Articles  (Fiction)   (Gaming - Genre)
valadaar's comment on 2013-09-09 12:59 PM
I kept waiting for the dark twist, but the one that happened is just as good.

I really like this - well polished! Go to Comment
What Is A Dwarf
Items  (Books and Scrolls)   (Non-Magical)
valadaar's comment on 2013-09-09 10:48 AM
A nice bit of detail.

Regarding Scras's comment about the Life After Dwarves comment - and that phrase alone would suggest an excellent article.

Perhaps there is a tendency to fear the dwarves? With their martial and technical skills, how would humans deal with them if there were at the height of their strength?

This has spawned a couple of ideas for me - thank you :)
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Stears-Cusick Cyborg
Lifeforms  (Constructed)   (Any)
valadaar's comment on 2013-09-09 10:41 AM
The use of the name Davros was the biggest clue given to their inspiration for me :)

Nicely done - good integration as always. Go to Comment
The Needwain
Society/ Organizations  (Political)   (Local)
valadaar's comment on 2013-09-09 09:34 AM
Ah - Salvation Army meets the Illuminati :) Good idea with lots of potential.



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Congeria
Locations  (World)   (Any)
valadaar's comment on 2013-09-09 09:11 AM
Certainly a unique cosmological setup :)

So basically, we are talking about the Conservation of Souls. Souls can be transformed but never destroyed, and the total sum of souls in the 3 realms never changes...



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She Who Dreams
NPCs  (Major)   (Political)
valadaar's comment on 2013-09-09 08:54 AM
This submission does a very good job of setting up your world, and perhaps limitations on magic. They feel a bit like the Defilers of AD&D's Dark Sun - this is _not_ intended as any form of insult :)

This is an excellent submission - new member or not - and gets high marks from me.

Welcome to Strolens!

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