Strolen\s Citadel content. 
Machinama, a cult in Refuge Beneath the Waves
Society/ Organizations  (Religious)   (World Wide)
valadaar's comment on 2015-02-13 12:07 PM
Amazing detail and depth on this one. Very good job! Go to Comment
Queen Llaewyn Reborn
Plots  (Event)   (Multi-Storyline)
valadaar's comment on 2015-02-13 11:55 AM
Love the style, but the end result is murky. A formally 'good' princess comes out as Maleficent?

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Motive Spirits
Items  (Transports)   (Sentient)
valadaar's comment on 2015-02-13 11:49 AM
I'm with Aramax. Yes, its ground that has been driven over before, but that can apply to 90% of everything.

Good ideas, neat stuff!
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Infestation
Articles  (Fiction)   (Gaming - In General)
valadaar's comment on 2015-02-13 11:44 AM
Neat stuff here - excellent, creepy fiction! Go to Comment
Slang and Jargon Beneath the Waves: The Big Under
Systems  (Societal/ Cultural)   (Specific)
valadaar's comment on 2015-02-13 11:29 AM
This is excellent. So much detail into each one. Great stuff here Axle!

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The Light and His Lady
Society/ Organizations  (Mystical)   (World Wide)
valadaar's comment on 2015-02-13 11:22 AM
Agree with Mystic. It seems usable as some text in a book PCs find, but its so metaphysical its usage is quite limited. Go to Comment
Xue Ren (Snow/Blood Blade Edge)
NPCs  (Character Sheet)   (Combative)
valadaar's comment on 2015-02-13 11:15 AM
This is pretty cool. Nicely stylized.

One thing about that text at the start:

“A kill within every ten steps,
Not leaving traces within a thousand miles,

Umm, if you killed every 10 steps, that is a pretty easy trace to follow :P
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The First of Cities
Locations  (City)   (Other)
valadaar's comment on 2015-02-13 11:11 AM
A nicely described city. Lots of useful little details.

I find the name 'Havocian' somewhat amusing. I expected you to describe their activities as spreading Havoc. :)

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The Tale of Solomon Soulhammer Pt. II
NPCs  (Mythic/ Historical)   (Mystical)
valadaar's comment on 2015-02-13 11:07 AM
Really more fiction than NPC, but its still really good. This one could have been longer :)
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A Grave Problem
Plots  (Discovery)   (Encounter)
valadaar's comment on 2015-02-13 11:01 AM
Very straightforward and usable. Good stuff. Go to Comment
The Stolen World, Overview and Codex
Locations  (World)   (Any)
valadaar's comment on 2015-02-13 11:00 AM
This is an interesting start - it feels like a set of notes as opposed to a full submission.

Some neat ideas here. Go to Comment
The Tale of Solomon Soulhammer Pt. I
NPCs  (Mythic/ Historical)   (Mystical)
valadaar's comment on 2015-02-12 08:02 PM
A very good background piece. Was he speaking metaphorically about using his father's tools - a blacksmiths hammer and a warhammer are different beasts.
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Apocalyptic Vampires
Lifeforms  (Intelligent Species)   (City/ Ruin)
valadaar's comment on 2015-02-12 10:32 AM
A straightforward idea, though the Sword freetext I think is a stretch. Go to Comment
Castle Kaukenn
Dungeons  (Other)   (Rooms/ Halls)
valadaar's comment on 2015-02-12 09:01 AM
A very interesting location - I like castles pitched into the Abyss.



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The Elder Crow of the Tarlathii
Lifeforms  (Ethereal)   (Any)
valadaar's comment on 2015-02-02 10:01 PM
An AG Sub! A Coldforges Sub! Awesome.

I like the feeling it conjures up. Adds atmosphere to possession.

And I love the idea that superstitious rituals have real purpose and need. Go to Comment
Mark Greaves, Assassin Hobo
NPCs  (Scenario Based)   (Travelers)
valadaar's comment on 2015-02-12 08:22 AM
Lots of potential with this one - so long as he keeps a low profile, and homeless is good at that.

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Buluc, death priest of Rope Woman
NPCs  (Minor)   (Religious)
valadaar's comment on 2015-03-11 03:24 PM
Muro's comment here is spot on. This is excellent and a worthy winner. Go to Comment
Elainuk: Parna's Dark Elf Assassin
NPCs  (Minor)   (Criminal/Espionage)
valadaar's comment on 2015-02-01 10:51 AM
Thats a new one for me - magical crossdressing and racing(?) assassin-hobbit. :)


Very interesting indeed!
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Skill Tabs
Items  (Books and Scrolls)   (Non-Magical)
valadaar's comment on 2015-01-29 08:51 PM
I hold to the Stats are okay if they are unnecessary to the submission and simply extend its value school.

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Skill Tabs
Items  (Books and Scrolls)   (Non-Magical)
valadaar's comment on 2015-02-11 09:20 AM
I like this idea - you are of course correct with the linkage of knowledge with existing memories. The way the TABs are produced allow for the potential of the 'sources' memories leaking in.

Its all about trying to get the skill boosting Books in fallout to kinda work.


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