Strolen\s Citadel content. 
Letters; of Marche, Reprisal, and Blight
Systems  (Political)   (General)
valadaar's comment on 2014-06-13 11:08 AM
A good idea, though there are some significant wording issues and typos that are very distracting to me, and take away from this idea.

Some sentences are not formed well. For example:

"Taking the enemies property in lieu of payment."

,.. Is what? Allowed? Not Allowed? Encouraged?



There are bolded words which are setup as links, but do not link to anything. Eg. Blight to the Realm people or Estate beast.

I would suggest putting this submission through spellcheck (Google docs is easy and free) or using chrome and it's built in one.

I would also suggest reading the submission aloud to yourself to catch the odd wording, sentence structure, and the occasional run-on sentence.
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The Omen
Plots  (Hired)   (Encounter)
valadaar's comment on 2014-08-28 07:21 AM
A good setup.
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Courtesan's secret weapon
Items  (Clothes)   (Magical)
valadaar's comment on 2014-06-06 07:41 AM


This is well described and detailed.



It does, however, very strongly echo the themes of http://strolen.com/viewing/Flirting_dress a fairly recent submission.

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Courtesan's secret weapon
Items  (Clothes)   (Magical)
valadaar's comment on 2014-06-06 07:43 AM
Only voted Go to Comment
Courtesan's secret weapon
Items  (Clothes)   (Magical)
valadaar's comment on 2014-06-06 09:56 AM
You can change it back to private in work if you must, but adding an acknowledgement to the original source should be fine. Your take is a bit different so does not need to be cast away into the darkness :)
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The Face on Every Coin, Dini the Goddess of Currency
NPCs  (Mythic/ Historical)   (Religious)
valadaar's comment on 2014-06-02 07:32 AM
A very impressive submission! I was going to say first but you've been a member for a while - nice to see you posting.

A great idea - goes coin in purse with Dozus's The Way of Divine Wealth, with that religion's focus on commerce. Plots, detail, interactions with the PC's - great job!




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The Demon's Grove
Locations  (Area)   (Any)
valadaar's comment on 2014-06-02 07:35 AM
Simple, well cited with lots of potential. This is good stuff Caesar.

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The Falling Castle
Locations  (Fortification)   (Other)
valadaar's comment on 2014-05-30 12:00 PM
cult of done. Begone.

Will fix the ? in the title tonight. Why did it do that?
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Inns to remember
Locations  (Establishment)   (Any)
valadaar's comment on 2014-05-22 07:32 AM
Good locations, some good color. There is something slightly off in the language, but all in all an excellent post!
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Beastmaster's door
Dungeons  (Any)   (Doors)
valadaar's comment on 2014-05-20 12:25 PM
This is very neat! Welcome aboard.

I really like this idea, and it is quite charming.

I think you meant to say 'best' in this sentence : "beast of its abilities." :)


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Burly Bill's Beautiful Beverages
Locations  (Other)   (Other)
valadaar's comment on 2014-05-22 09:10 AM
I like two-faced organizations like this and agree with the bio-polar nature of some people. Some folks are very good at compartmentalization of behaviour. Go to Comment
New Personal Best
Articles  (Fiction)   (Gaming - Genre)
valadaar's comment on 2014-05-22 09:02 AM
Excellent writing. Such good storytelling.

You are not just sharing an idea, but really telling a story. Awesome.
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30 Fairies
Lifeforms  (Intelligent Species)   (Any)
valadaar's comment on 2014-05-22 08:35 AM
Wow, this is another excellent 30, each one deserving of greater detail - perhaps their own subs.

The positioning of the Fairies as short-lived, relatively stupid creatures is interesting and creates a dynamic between these and other Fae.

Really love this one! Go to Comment
Evolutionary Theology
Articles  (Setting Building)   (Game Mastering)
valadaar's comment on 2014-05-22 08:25 AM
A great sub that belongs in a worldbuilding folder for sure! Go to Comment
Patrol Pod
Items  (Transports)   (Non-Magical)
valadaar's comment on 2014-05-21 01:24 PM
Cool Squared :) I think Derek would like one of these...

This also seem perfect for adding an AI to.
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Quortek Baat'leb
Dungeons  (Underground)   (Traps)
valadaar's comment on 2014-04-29 02:08 PM
These are really good - though I can't imagine something powerful enough to snuff souls not being detectable as magic.

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18 Gifts from Elder Gods, Outer Gods, and Cosmic Horrors
Articles  (Humor/ Editorial)   (Gaming - Genre)
valadaar's comment on 2014-05-02 02:35 PM
Very good! Love it!

No need to reward me though! Go to Comment
Kolburn Pierre
NPCs  (Character Sheet)   (Travelers)
valadaar's comment on 2014-07-08 11:31 AM
A great grab and go character. Good job.


This comment brought to you by the letter G




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Elizabeth Sheybad and the Flirting Dress
Plots  (Crisis)   (Encounter)
valadaar's comment on 2014-05-01 02:43 PM
I think fiction is fine here - we have a section for it, so don't let that hold you back.

A novel use of the dress, and a good one.
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Ellen Lancaster
NPCs  (Minor)   (Artistic/Performance)
valadaar's comment on 2014-04-22 02:37 PM
For the Genre, this is a great in-depth exploration of the character - really a work of fiction that frames her. I like the tone of your world and your writing - it is very coherent and very consistent. Top quality work here.

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